It Was the Night Before Christmas...

Well, it was when I started this blog, but after helping my sister redesign her blog, it is officially Christmas.

Today, I met both my goals not leaving the house (except to get my last vaccination) and finishing another assignment for next semester (only 2 more left!).

The fact that Christmas is here is kind of surreal even though I have been trying to prepare my heart for it for weeks now. I watched The Nativity Story (one of my favorite Christmas movies) last night. Since Kristi and I have been reading through the Christmas narratives, it seemed to take on more weight and meaning as what we have been reading came to life. This holiday represents one of the most important events in history. It tells a story of God reaching down to man to fulfill His promises and make a way for His people to know Him forever. Jesus came to die. It was always the plan. Easter would not be possible without Christmas...BUT Christmas would not be so sweet without Easter. These two holidays that we celebrate are eternally linked together. God may have not commanded us to celebrate them, but I think it is good that we take the time to remember and reflect on them. God had Israel set up landmarks and special feasts as reminders in the Old Testament and He gave us the ordinance of communion in the New Testament. He knows how forgetful we are. Even though the world tries to secularize Christmas and Easter with commercialism and imaginary characters, the theological foundation still stands and these holidays give us an excellent opportunity to speak of the Hope we believers have.

The Sweetest Time of the Year

There are 3 days left until Christmas. Avoid the stores if you can. :)

My sister and I have been reading the Christmas story (Matthew 1-2, Luke 1-2 & John 1) every day from different translations since the 16th. Between the two of us we have seven different English versions of the Bible (which goes to show you how blessed us English speakers are as there are many languages which do not even have one tranlation of God's Word). It has been cool reading them from these different versions (ranging from paraphrase to literal) because it makes you hear the story in new ways. We have also read through some of the prophecies in Isaiah that predict the birth of Christ.

These past couple of days I have been trying my hand at truffles. I used the dark chocolate truffle recipe from the back of the Ghiradelli chocolate chip package. It was a little messy, to say the least...

Let me tell you these truffles are very rich and very dark (60% cocoa). I tweaked the recipe some to take the edge off. Instead of using unsweetened cocoa to coat the creamy, dark chocolate filling, I coated some with nuts, some with crushed Oreos and the rest with either a rasberry hot cocoa mix or an extreme chocolate hot cocoa mix. I think the Oreo ones are my favorite.

Back in Fred, MO

I've been keeping the roads hot. Yesterday, I woke up in Louisville, KY, ate lunch & saw a movie with Sarah in Nashville, TN and picked up my sister in St. Louis, MO later that night. Now I am in Fredericktown until I pack up and leave for a much longer trip. :)

The Lord has graciously allowed me to pay off my credit card debt!!! The debt was a result of my own pride as I refused to ask people for help and/or take it from them when they offered it. God's way of providing for me was not my way, so I stubbornly and sinfully refused it. BUT thanks be to God that even in my ungratefulness, He provided ways for me to pay off the debt. I am so thankful that Christ gives us what we do not deserve!

...I own a Snuggie...

Haha. This is very ironic as I make fun of them hard core. My mom got two free with some purchase from a magazine, and she gave them to Kristi and me. Owning one has not raised their value in my eyes...the jokes will continue. This "blanket with sleeves" may prove to be a lifesaver, though, as my parents' house stays a cool 65 degrees or so. Burr. Just now, my mom just told my dad to turn the furnace down because "it's hot in here." I better find my Snuggie...

The Weight of a Moment

This semester is officially over, Christmas is quickly approaching and God's grace has abounded to me in ways I cannot even put into words. Even though I don't feel great, I have many reasons to rejoice in my Savior.

Also, the salvation of two people in my life weigh heavily upon me this evening. Oh how I want them to know Christ and to make Him known!

Earlier this evening I went to a Christmas party. The host read the Christmas story from Matthew 1-2 and we discussed the different aspects of the account that have impacted us or stood out to us. Someone reflected on how the reason that Jesus can be Immanuel ("God with us") is because He saves us (Jesus means "Yahweh Saves"). Someone else talked about the horror of the babies that were slaughtered by King Herod. I couldn't help but think of the weight of that moment in history. At that moment in time, God's long awaited promise came to fruition in the birth of Jesus Christ. I heard a song yesterday (by Chris Tomlin, I believe) about how the world was unaware that the Messiah was born that night. It's true. Only a privileged few knew that God's promised Savior had come into the world. The God of the universe came in the midst of obscurity.

I would like to share with you what is currently my new favorite Christmas song. It is called "Amen, Amen" and it is from Sojourn Music's CD Advent Songs. Click here to listen to it or click here to download the whole CD for free (which I highly recommend!). May your worship of Him grow deeper this Christmas.

Let every creature rise and bring
their grateful praises to our King
Angels descend with songs again
and Earth repeats a loud Amen

(Chorus) A-men, A-men
A-men, A-men
I found my life
I found my life in Him
A-men, A-men

Peace like a river from His throne
will flow to nations yet unknown
His Word a light where all hope is dim
and all tribes unite to cry "Amen"

Chorus

And in this Child we'll find our rest
and all the meek and lowly blest
An infant tongue could sing the hymn
of Hallelujah and Amen

Chorus

On My Way Out

I am preparing for my mass exodus from Louisville. My room is sort of a disaster zone with boxes stacked everywhere. This makes move number 4 this year. Crazy. Maybe I should just leave my stuff in boxes. :)

The Father has been so gracious in providing for my every need. He provided the amount I needed for South Asia. Some of the money came from what I had left over from a trip I took 5 years ago. The Lord's sovereignty takes my breath away. I used all but $2 of that money towards this trip. He sure knows what He is doing. :)

I got my flight itinerary the other day and am in the process of applying for visas. This is all starting to become a reality and I can't quite get my head wrapped around it. :) While in Missouri this week, I will get some of the immunizations that I need (or at least the first round of them). When I first checked the International Travel Center here in Louisville, I thought I was going to have to spend hundreds of dollars for vaccinations, but as the Lord would have it, my mom found out that I can get most of them for free in Fredericktown because Missouri considers them state vaccines. Missouri is just awesome like that. :) Seriously though, this is such a blessing and God continues to work out the details of my trip in little ways like that. I am thankful that He is a God who cares about the details!

A few weeks ago, we had a panel discussion in chapel about multi-site churches. It was very interesting and I had planned to post a reaction to it, but I lost all motivation, but you can listen/view it by clicking here. :) In short, I agree with the majority. I have seen hundreds come to the Lord through multi-site. God can use whatever means He wants. Who are we to limit Him?

Have I mentioned how I excited I am that I am done with classes? I only have 3 finals left! Plus, I have finished two assignments for next semester! Over-achiever? Yes!

By the way, does anyone know where I can store my twin bed while I am away?

Turkey Day is coming!!! I already had one Thanksgiving meal on Sunday at RF, but that doesn't really count because I was told that was for my birthday. hehe

Whirlwind Weekends

I have had two visitors in the past two weeks. I could barely contain myself. Kristi visited me during Halloween/Reformation Day Weekend and Sarah came in last weekend.

Here are a few highlights:

• Graeter's Ice Cream...twice
• watched the movie Luther in honor of Reformation Day
• helped a family from RF move to their new house
• enjoyed outdoors indoors at Bass Pro :)





There was a Starbucks in the Bass Pro. Kristi said her two worlds collided.

• carved a pumpkin for the first time





Mine is the one with the ridiculously long stem. :)

• dinner with the Hendersons in St. Louis
• took Andrea to Target for the first time



• experienced my first IMAX 3-D movie (A Christmas Carol)
• Orphan Sunday Simulcast
• LOTS of laughing...and driving :)

In the midst of all this, the Lord has been so gracious in reminding me of His faithfulness and not letting me get too distracted from Him. He continues to provide for my every need even when things look grim and continues to confront me with my sinfulness and the glory of Christ.


This Sunday marks exactly two months before I leave for South Asia. It also marks the beginning of the last week of classes and one week before my birthday. I am not going home for a full week, as is my custom, for Thanksgiving, so I will be spending my birthday here. :( I will, however, get to go to the RF Thanksgiving dinner. :)

Jesus has been teaching me to live in Today (Hebrews 4:6-7). I have been doing a lot of planning, thinking and dreaming about the future, which I don't guess is bad in itself, but I need to be faithful to what God has in store for me Today. Each day is important and unique and has been designed by Him for a particular purpose. I need to strive to make much of Christ each day and not lose sight of Him in the midst of impending events. Jesus said that each day has its own troubles. He calls me to serve Him in the here and now and not just think about how I can do so in the future. He calls for faithfulness in the little and seemingly ordinary things of life.

Plight of the Orphan

Today is Orphan Sunday. There are 140,000,000 plus orphans in the world and every 18 seconds another child is orphaned. Today I saw a live simulcast from Nashville, TN raising awareness for orphans. The webcast will be available to watch on www.GospelMusicChannel.com during the next six months. I encourage you to watch it and consider how you can make a difference for orphans.
James 1:27

English 101

God has given me many opportunities to spend with my Chinese friend Andrea. Sunday, we spent the whole day together. She joined me at RF, had lunch at my apartment, checked out the Halloween decor on Hillcrest Avenue (where I was reminded of how much I dislike Halloween) and went to Huber's Farm with my small group. I am supposed to be helping her with her English, but I think she is helping me with mine! When she wanted to know what was in the white chili I made, she had trouble understanding me when I said onions. As I slowed down my speech, I realized that I pronounce it ung-yons. There is no G in onions! Poor girl, when I get through with her she is going to sound like she is from the back roads of Southern Missouri.

Hebrew woes: I had to buy another box of flash cards today for my Hebrew vocab. This means that my first box of 300 (!) was not enough. Sad day. I am about Hebrewed out. I have started see schewas in my every day life (two vertical dots that aid in pronunciation - see the pic from my dry erase board below). This cannot be a good sign.

Take two: My sister and I are going to make a second attempt for her to come visit me this weekend (if the Lord is willing, of course!).

Baby boom: Baby Lydia Grace came last week, weighing in at almost 9 lbs. Her parents are my good friends at RF. She was a week and a half late. My cousin's baby, Ella Grace, came yesterday, weighing in at 8 lbs, 2 ounces. She was a week early. Everyone is doing well. I am thankful that both of these little ones will grow up in homes where they will learn about Jesus. Please pray for their salvation even now. They will also be taught to cheer on the St. Louis Cardinals. It's good to know they will be raised right. :)

Be Careful How You Dial...

Today, I was attempting to call a charity I support to update my account. In the process, I misdialed the number using 1-800 instead of 1-888. This mistake connected me to a very scandalous hotline. Thankfully, I did not hear what the automated voice was saying as my mind was comprehending what was happening. I quickly hung up, checked the number (& realized my mistake) and tried again with the corrected number. I later received two text messages from the hotline. This experience, while a little bit comical, reminded me of something I learned in one of my classes. Wicked businesses like this one spend massive amounts of money to buy up every phone number and web address that is closely associated with well-known ones in order to catch, with the intention of hooking, unsuspecting persons. It is a very sad and shameful reality.

On a slightly different note: I attended a panel discussion today on the relationship between the local church and social justice (I believe the discussion will be posted on Southern's website). It was very good and the panel members were very passionate about the church being the primary vehicle of social justice (coupled, of course, with the Good New of Jesus Christ). I couldn't agree more. Because of God's mercy and compassion extended to us on the cross of Christ, we have the best reason and motivation to reach out to others in love and compassion. Because Christ loves us, we should love others. Because people are created in the image of God, we should seek to redeem that image by ministering to their physical and spiritual needs. All for the glory of Jesus Christ.

One of my favorite reasons came from Dr. Moore: "The Gospel is the announcement of the turning back of the curse (Romans 5 & 8)." God's Kingdom is here (though not fully realized) and we are to advance it wherever we go. "What beats in the heartbeat of the King, should beat in the hearts of His people" (also Dr. Moore). The Bible clearly and repeatedly calls believers to obey God and love others through word and action.

This issue is very close to my heart and God is further burdening my heart for those who suffer. Did you know that 25,000 people die every day from hunger? Did you know that every 4 seconds, a child dies from hunger? Does this not grip your heart?

While the church of Jesus is responsible for social justice as a whole, we are responsible as individuals as well. I can do something. You can do something. Never underestimate how God can use one person. Each of us can:

• give our time: You can volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or at a local homeless shelter
• give our resources: You can support a child through World Vision or Compassion.
• give our voices: join the ONE Campaign which seeks to end severe poverty (mainly in Africa) through advocacy. At the Third Day concert I attended (they support this campaign) we collectively stood against extreme globally poverty. This was the first I had heard about ONE, and I have been told it is a commendable organization.

As God's people we should be leading the cause. Let's not be hearers of the Word only (James 1:22).

Change in Plans

Well, in my plans anyway. It turns out that the Lord was not willing to have my sister visit. She is sick with what is probably a sinus infection. I am extremely disappointed, but the Lord know's what is best. He is sovereign and wise and good.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9; cf. Proverbs 19:21).

On a different note: I was challeged by my Hebrew class today regarding the Book of Ruth and my traditional understanding of it. This book has much to say (through the actions of Ruth) about the loyal love of God. Ruth was faithful to her bitter mother-in-law, Naomi, even to the point of risking her reputation (or worse, according to some scholars). The epitome of God's love and faithfulness to us was demonstrated in Christ as He did the radical by sending His Son to die a excrutiating death on the cross. With this in mind, I need to reread the Book of Ruth.

Guess who is coming to visit!

My sister is coming to visit!!! I am going to St. Louis to pick her up tomorrow and then bringing her back here for the weekend. Then I will take her back on Sunday after church. Sound crazy? Yes...but totally worth it. Lord willing, we are going to do a community service project Saturday morning and then that night we are going to a Third Day concert. Also, I am going to speak at a local, private school about the region I will traveling to, so she will be there to support me (please keep me in mind Friday afternoon when this will be taking place!).

Lately, I have been trying to submit my anxiety regarding my seemingly insurmountable amount of homework to the Lord. He has been calling me to give this area of my life to Him. I act like I am in control of my time and my studies, but He has been showing me that I totally am not. So last night at midnight, I chose to go to bed, leaving 3 chapters and 3 articles to read, Hebrew translations and a reading quiz all to be done this evening. I was very discouraged because I wanted to attend RF's Wednesday night service to hear about the recent trip to Central Asia. I told the Lord this and also told Him that I trust Him in helping me get what I need to done. Jesus showed me once again how sovereign and faithful He is. This morning I got up and got ready for class, but when I got to school, I was informed that my class was cancel. How exciting! I was able to take that time to knock out three chapters, which allowed me to go to church this evening - all because of the Lord's grace. Once again: He is in control and I am not...and that is a good thing.

Other lessons from the past several weeks: pride and humilty - the Lord is really teaching me a lot about this vice and virtue through many different avenues (books, sermons and class lectures). I am reminded once again that I really am livin' life in Romans 7.

Did that really happen???

My week got off to a rough and unexpected start as my car was impounded during the wee hours of Monday morning. Without realizing it, I had parked in front of a driveway Sunday night, so when the people I blocked needed to leave at 2:30 a.m., they had my car towed. Imagine my surprise to not find my car where I parked it! After much stress, a ride from my kind roommate and a pricey ransom, I was reunited with my car in time to go to work. Even in the midst of such a wretched situation, there were many things to thank God for:

1. I was able to get to work on time.
2. I had the funds to cover the cost.
3. The impound place was only a few miles from where I lived.
4. My car wasn't stolen (my first thought when I realized it was missing)
5. My sanctification (spiritual growth)

Furthermore, as I was reflecting on the event, I was reminded of God's grace. I broke the law in ignorance and suffered the consequences (paying a fine). Even though I didn't realize I had broken the law, I was still guilty. The same is true with God's Law. Even when I don't realize when I break His Law, I am still guilty. As a result, I deserve the consequences - hell. BUT there is good news. Unlike the impound place, there is Someone who paid the penalty for me (because I could never pay it on my own): Jesus Christ. He came and lived a perfect life (without sin) and then was brutally tortured and nailed to a cross where He died - bearing God's full wrath for sin (my sin and your's). God raised Him from the dead three days later and now He lives forevermore. For those who repent of their sins and trust in Christ, they are no longer guilty before God. Their fine has been paid. This is Good News for ALL peoples!

On a different note: I had a nice visit in Missouri. I was once again back in the kitchen where I made baked mostaccioli and a cheap version of Tiramusi (chocolate and coffee, I mean, can you go wrong?). My mom had this recipe for Twinkie Tiramusi. I admit I was very skeptical because I am not a snack-cake fan, but it was actually really good and tasted a lot like the real thing (but cost way less). I will definitely make again.

Next Stop: MO

Last weekend I went to visit Sarah in AL for Labor Day. It was a quick trip but we made the most of it. We went to a drive-through safari and the science center (which pales in comparison to the FREE one in St. Louis). Next weekend I will be heading to MO as is my custom around my sister's birthday. I am really looking forward to hanging out with her on Friday. I told her to clear her calender for me. :) I have really been missing her lately.

I met my language partner last night. She is a doll and I absolutely adore her. She is from China and is working on her Master's in Biostatistics at the University of Louisville. We spent several hours getting to know one another and I even got to tell her about the Way. I am really looking forward to see what God has in store for our friendship.

I got a bed last weekend for $20! Probably the best $20 I have ever spent. :) My good friends (and former house-parents) are going to give me a desk they no longer want. These are both gifts from the Lord for which I am very thankful.

I already have packed boxes to take home next weekend as I think about moving again in December. Next semester (Lord willing), I will be in South Asia. I am scheduled to leave in January and will be gone for six months. This is for sure the biggest thing the Father has ever called me to do, but I know that He will be with me and I am very excited to be about His work. Please keep me in mind as I raise pr support and financial support in the coming weeks. Eph 3:20

Study Break

I have emerged from my books to get some fresh air and to write this blog. These past few weeks have been filled with reading, reading and more reading. I thought I would have a little lighter semester this fall with taking only 3 classes and working a few less hours, but not so much. Plus, I am taking Elementary Hebrew. My other two classes have to do with family relations and counseling. My counseling class in particular is going to be quite challenging, but in a very good way. We have a semester long project where we pick a struggle in our lives and use God's Word and rely on the Spirit to change us. I have thought of many issues that I could work on, but the Father showed me that many of my past and current issues are rooted in one thing: fear of man. Ouch. I mean, I knew I had people-pleasing tendencies, but didn't realize how much they ruled my life. The Lord has reminded me that sin affects everything I do, even my best motives (Romans 7). By God's grace, however, He will lead me to fear Him rather than man and make me more and more like Jesus Christ. This is the great hope I and all believers can cling too.

It is an absolutely beautiful evening. I just got done soaking it up on long walk...which wound up lasting one hour! I discovered a very picturesque neighbor on my journey and, as a result, a new route for my morning walks. This is a blessing because the last few times I have been out on my usual route, I have come acrossed a few suspicious folks. One guy asked me for a cigarette (I mean, common on, I am in work clothes...does it look like I have cigarettes on me?) and another guy was on a small bike wearing a Halloween mask (Scream, anyone?).

I am going to be an aunt! Now to those of you who know that I have one unmarried sibling, rest assured: Kristi is not having a baby. My cousin and his wife are though, but saying "I am going to be a 2nd cousin!", just doesn't have the same ring to it. Shawn and Megan are due to have a baby girl, Ella Grace, early November and, if you couldn't tell, I am so excited!

As much as I complained above about my school workload, I have found time to hang out with friends and participate in some pretty cool activities. For instance, two Sundays ago was India's Independence Day so I went to a festival celebrating it. It wasn't a mix and mingle atmosphere like I thought, but it was fun and informative nonetheless. My friends and I dressed the part too:

Two more exciting things:

1. Yesterday, I signed up for a language partner from the University of Louisville.

2. Next weekend I am going to visit Sarah in Alabama!

Now, back to my books...

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Today was nice. I went to RF and small group, which has proved to be the most comfortable and normal thing since my return. I am still settling into my new apartment and getting to know my new roommate. She is sweet, but it takes me a while to open up to people (sometimes this fact fustrates me). It was nice to be around lots of familiar faces today, though, and catch up on what God has been up to in their lives. We just started a study through the Old Testament called "From Creation to Christ." I am pretty excited about this since I have been spending the majority of my time in the NT. As I read these stories that I am so familiar and answer the study questions, I am reminded of God's great faithfulness and grace. He constantly reaches toward us stubborn, hard-hearted people and offers us Himself. These historical accounts reveal God's trustworthy character. With Him in control, why do we fear? If only we weren't so forgetful...or rebellious.

The Lord has given me much to think about lately. This one quote keep reverberating through my mind: "Only one life twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last." This quote has taken on new meaning as I look forward to serving overseas next spring. This opportunity is so much bigger than anything I imagined and I know it is only by His strength that I will do any good there.

Finally, this song by Hillsong United spoke to me this evening and I wanted to share it. It is my prayer and I hope it is yours too:

Falling on my knees in worship/Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is Yours/My whole life I place in Your hands
God of mercy, humbled I bow down/In Your presence, at Your throne
I called, You answered and You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are
In my life be lifted high/In our world be lifted high/In our love be lifted
high

July in MO: Week 4

My last week at home turned out to be the busiest. I won't go into detail but I attended a family reunion and the MH church picnic, finished that 1000 piece puzzle (below), brought my mom home from the hospital (yay!), beat the latest Tomb Raider game, finished M. Renaissance, met with my pastor, went to a court hearing in support of my aunt and uncle, went to a campfire discussion about the before-mentioned book and visited Bauhaus Kaffee for the first time. I unfortunately did not get to invest in my cousins as much as I had hoped and prayed. Plans fell through, but I was able to talk with them once over lunch and for that I am thankful.

My mom came home the Monday before last. She is doing much better. Both her appetite and strength are coming back. Her foot is doing great as well. Praise the Lord for His excellent care of her!

I was contacted by the company I am going overseas with late last weekend regarding my top three choices of where I want to serve. After reviewing the updated job assignments, I have changed my top choice from South America to South Asia. Besides the fact that the one in South America doesn't exist anymore, the one in South Asia aligns with things God has recently laid on my heart. I don't expect to hear anything official from them until October.

I am back in Louisville now. Welcomed back by torrential downpours and severe thunderstorms. Pray for the people here. We got like 6 inches of rain in a short amount of time and there are many people who have suffered property damage/loss due to the flash floods.

I am mostly finished unpacking. I am currently sleeping on an air mattress until I can aquire new furniture. When that happens, it will feel a lot more like home.

I came to the sad realization yesterday that I need new tires for my car...soon.

July in MO: Week 3

Most of this past week was spent visiting my mom in the hospital. She has been there since Sunday morning and I am ready for her to come home. No word yet on when that will be. The doctor diagnosed her with ulcerated colitis and is trying to find out what caused it.

Last Sunday, my sister and I went to the church she attends in St. Louis. She was very excited to reconnect with all her friends and to be able to attend their yearly church picnic. I am beginning to learn how different Kristi and I are from each other when it comes to church preferences and even some doctrinal stances. Nothing major but it is interesting to see the unique way that God created us.

Tomorrow we plan to go to St. Louis with our cousins to visit the arch. This past week I collected four extra large cups from McDonald's that each have a $5 off coupon for a trip up the Arch. :)

I finished the Noel Piper book and started a new book called M. Renaissance by Reggie McNeal. I am reading it per recommendation of the Associate Pastor/Outreach Leader of MH.

I forgot to report last time that my dad and I went hiking at Pickled Springs in Farmington, MO. The hike was roughly 2 miles and we finished it in less than an hour. We had a lot of fun and I am thankful for the quality time with my dad.

My family and I have almost finished that 1000 piece puzzle. :)

Update on My Mom

Please continue to pray for my mom. The ER sent her home Friday with antibiotics saying that she had a severe bladder infection. The medicine made her very sick so we got her a new prescription on Saturday. My dad took her back to the ER this morning as she continued to grow worse. They admitted her this time and have relieved some of her pain with meds. She is supposed to have a colonoscopy tomorrow. She has not slept or ate much since Wednesday and has been in severe pain. The hospital decided not to do anything today since Sunday is their "day off" and they don't "do much." Thanks to those of you who have been praying. I forget that people actually read my blog so I have been surprised by the amount of people who know about her situation. Colossians 4:2.

July in MO: Week 2

I finished A Call to Die yesterday. The Lord has used that book to show me what areas of my life I still need to die to...and there are many. God is gracious, though, and I am thankful that He doesn't give up on me. I also started a book last week called Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper. The book is very challenging and inspiring. I am always amazed at how God uses no-name people to do amazing things for Him. This theme runs with last week's church service where a lady shared her testimony of how God called and uses her as a vessel to transform the lives of prison inmates. I need to hear/read these things. I have been presented with several opportunities where I can serve Christ in the Louisville community this fall. I have been hesitant to pursue them because I am doubtful of the impact that I could make. God is reminding me, however, that He is the one that will make the impact. My confidence should be in Him and not myself. I am nothing, but He is everything. I am to simply obey Him and follow Him wherever He leads me. The new message series at church is about leadership and I am pretty excited about it.

My family and I have started an 1000 piece puzzle. It is rather nightmare-ish I am not going to lie but we have made a considerable dent in it once we finally got the border finished.

I have been thinking of ways that I can serve while I am home and the Lord revealed to me that I can serve Him by finding ways to serve my family. Isn't it amazing how there are opportunities to serve right under our noses but we fail to recognize them?

My sister and I had lunch with some unbelieving family members last week. We plan on getting together a few more times with them before I leave. I am praying for the opportunity to share Christ with them. We have tentative plans to take them to St. Louis this Wednesday (Lord willing).

My mom has been sick since yesterday. Please pray for her. My dad just took her to the ER. She is having pains in her lower stomach and hasn't slept or ate much in the last day and a half. I hate that she suffers so much (Romans 8:18).

July in MO: Week 1

I am home now. It has been a nice change of pace...sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. I have slowly been clearing out and cleaning my room and closet. It has become a sort of a storage area while I have been away and when I came back with my stuff there was literally now room to walk around. Well, four days, six trash bags and a trunk load of items for Good Will later, I am finished! It is still crowded in my room, but there is much more walking space and organization (which means a lot less stress for me).

Kristi and I have started reading The Count of Monte Cristo together. I haven't read it since high school so it is very fresh to me. We have also been working out together. I am not sure if she thinks it is fun (especially at 7:00 in the morning), but I enjoy it.

I have taken over the cooking responsibilities for the month. I am not sure my parents know what to think since I have been switching up the menu on them. I made beef stroganoff from scratch last night and my dad was like, "this doesn't taste like Hamburger Helper [from the box]." Exactly.

The Lord allowed me to experience His presence last Sunday during church and also during my evening quiet time for the first time in what seems like forever. I cannot even describe what a blessing that is.

I have a dentist appointment today. Dread. Please pray for me.

Silent Provision

The Lord reminded me last Sunday of how self-reliant I am. He needs to break me and I prayed that He would. I have been working my tail off trying to pay off my credit card debt (that I acquired because of my pride last year), but He revealed to me that in doing so I have been relying on myself. I once again gave Him my debt and other things that I think I can fix/control. I told Him I didn't know how but I knew He would provide. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from a scholarship foundation telling me that I have been awarded a $1000 scholarship for this fall. I guess that means I don't need the the loan I took out anymore. :) God always provides in His way and His time. Why do I doubt Him? It's like an addiction. "Hi my name is Rachel and I'm a self-reliant sinner. It has been two days since I surrendered everything to God."

The Lord has also provided me with a roommate and apartment. How amazing is that? I was determined not to even think about where I was going to live but a friend of mine called me and asked about my living arrangements for the fall. She said that I had "come to mind" when she was thinking about possible roommates. The Lord then put it in my mind to look at The Towers magazine for apartment ads and boom! It's settled. We both have a place to live (only about a mile from campus and 4 from work I might add :).

Several opportunities to serve the Lord have surfaced over the past month. I have been praying for a way to serve outside the church walls and the Lord has brought some ways to light. I am praying for His leadership so I do not overload myself this fall, but I am very excited about what He has in store!

All of these answered prayers and blessings are bittersweet. The Lord has been taking me through a dark time spiritually by withdrawing from me. I have been clinging to His promises, but it has been extremely difficult. He has been silent towards me. I do not sense His presence. I think (because the Lord has inclined His ear to me as of late) and hope this time of testing is almost over. I want His sweet fellowship again!

I go home this Friday for a WHOLE MONTH!

[Title Goes Here]

Last Sunday I visited William Branham's church in Jeffersonville, Indiana. It has been something I have been wanting to do ever since I discovered his influence on some of my family members. The class I am taking this summer (starts tomorrow actually) requires me to attend such a church so I seized the opportunity. When I was considering a date to attend, the Lord laid it on my heart to go last Sunday. I was very nervous because I did not know what to expect (I now have a new appreciation for unbelievers who visit a church for the first time). Knowing that Branhamism has Pentecostical roots, I wore a long skirt and prayed that the Lord would lead me to a young lady who I could befriend. The service started with prayer and hymnal singing. We then heard the "thought" for the morning, which I thought was the sermon at first. The pastor spoke for 20 minutes or so quoting Brother Branham as well passages from the Bible. We then sung some more and then listened to the sermon. When I say listened, I do mean listened. The sermon was an audio recording of Brother Branham himself (he died in 1965) preaching from Matthew 21 (The Triumphal Entry) regarding the identity of Jesus Christ. This is exactly what I wanted to know: who they believe Jesus Christ is. They definitely have a high view of Christ. They believe He is more than a Good Man, Prophet and Healer--that He is God in the flesh. They also believe He is the only way to God. These are very good and very true points. There are some other things, however, that rose a red flag in my mind: Branham is the forerunner of Christ's 2nd coming, the Holy Spirit is the forerunner of Christ's second coming, God sent Branham to teach true baptism (Jesus Name only) and "the fuller revelation." The Lord answered my prayer by leading me to meet a very friendly young woman who has agreed to let me interview her. This young lady also "happens" to be Brother Branham's great granddaughter (of course, Lord!). My attempts at the proper dress failed miserably as the pastor spoke against slits in skirts...my not only had one but two! Apparently, I am a scandalous woman. I was a little mortified to say the least. Anyway, I have really been struggling with all this: are these people (and some of my family members) saved? How can they love and know Jesus so well and God not lead them into the Truth? Why doesn't God show them the errors of these teachings? Why did God bless Branham's ministry and do healing miracles through Him? What if Branham is right? As I have been praying and agonizing over these questions this week, the Lord has not left me to the wind. He is faithful. The morning I went to Branham's church I listened to a message online called "What is Truth?" Very timely (as usual coming from our Awesome God!). Also, this week in a book I am reading from my class, I kept running across this statement: Jesus Christ is God's final revelation. This statement was culminated for me this morning in the sermon I heard at a friend's church I attended (I didn't know I was even going there until last night, but God knew I needed to be there!). They are going through a series on the Trinity and today was about God the Son (the same topic covered in the Branham sermon). Jesus is not only God in the flesh but He is God's final revelation of Himself. God used to speak through prophets and angels but now He speaks to us by His Son (Hebrews 1:1-2). There is no longer a need for prophets (Branham is a self-declared prophet) or angelic visions (Branham received revelations from an angel) because Jesus is all we need. I am still struggling with all this but I trust that God will continue to lead me into truth (John 16:13).

Through all of this, God has shown me how vulnerable baby Christians are. Like babies, new Christians trust and copy those who lead and guide them. They absorb everything they are taught and it shapes who they become as believers just as children absorb everything they learn from their parents. How important it is for them to be among strong, faithful Christians who are true to God's Word! I am so thankful for the godly leaders God has placed in my life. If you are reading this and have had some type of godly influence on my life, know that God has used you to save me from false teaching. It is only by God's grace that I know the Truth now and I am not caught up in Branhamism. Hebrews 13:7 has become such a precious verse to me for this very reason. The people God has placed in my life - pastors, professors and strong Christian friends - have challenged, guided, taught and corrected me to keep me focused on my Savior and to keep me on the right path. As the following verse says (13:8), "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." He is the final Truth and He doesn't change. Therefore, those who correctly teach His way should teach Him and His truths and live as He did. I am very blessed to know such leaders and thank my God for them.

Aside: I just started the book A Call to Die by David Nasser. I have been wanting to read it for a while now, and the Lord pressed it upon my heart to do so this summer. I just read the first devotional and realized that I am more selfish than I thought. I have a lot of dying to myself to do.

Also, my sister leaves for Romania is two days! Please pray that she would not be anxious, that the Lord would keep her safe, that God would use this experience to draw herself closer to Him and that she and the team she is with will lead many people to a saving relationsihp with Jesus Christ.

A Closed Door and a New Direction

Last week was a extremely hard week emotionally and spiritually. Several factors played into this: missing Sarah, numerous mistakes at work and news regarding my application to serve in South America. Regarding the latter, I had been working under the assumption that no news was good news and trying to be patient knowing that those looking over my application were very busy. My assumption, however, was wrong. I called about my application early last week and after several rounds of phone tag, was eventually told that I was on a waiting list. Due to the number of applicants, there were only 4 spots available (all in East Asia). I was then told that I had to make my decision by the following day: I could either go to East Asia in six weeks or defer my application. I prayed about it that night, but the Lord was silent. When the next day came, I still had no idea what to do nor did I understand what the Lord was doing. I read through the job descriptions for the opportunities in East Asia but none seemed to "fit" my God-given gifts and passions. Still the Lord was silent. I had previously told the Lord that I would pursue this opportunity until He shut the door (though I thought He would have done so much sooner than this!). I decided to go ahead and defer my application to the spring 2010 semester. I am extremly disappointed but know that the Lord has a reason for all this. I was reminded by fellow Christ-followers that no step of faith goes unrewarded, that God is still in control, that He knows the plans He has for me and that God calls me to be submissive to Him. These are all things I needed to hear. The truth is that I had lost my focus. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I was focusing on myself and my immediate circumstances. No wonder I had a rough week! BUT when I took time to dive intently into His Word and focus my eyes on Christ, His peace replaced my anxiety and His love melted my obstinate heart. Psalm 25 became the prayer of the hour and God used Isaiah 54-55 to speak His truth into my heart. Even though I felt alone, I wasn't and, as usual, God came to my rescue and comfort.

With this new change in plans (or rather MY plans), I have new things to think and pray about: like what classes to take this fall (or possibly even take a break from seminary), what ministries to become involved in and my living arrangements for Aug-Dec. My plans for the summer are still the same. I move out of my apartment at the end of the week into a friend's apartment. I will stay there through the month of June and then go home for the month of July (which I am so looking forward to; I desparately need the change of scenery!). The Lord has been gracious, however, in already providing me with living options over the past few days. Please pray for me as I learn more about these opportunities - that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading.

"My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins...Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You...Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame...for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long." (Psalm 15-18, 20, 3, 5)

Here, There, Everywhere

Last weekend I moved most of my stuff home to Missouri. Sarah went with me and got her first taste of small town life. What's more is that the Azalea Festival was last weekend, so she couldn't have visited at a better time. We took her to her first truck pull and car show, as well as to The Pig (our local food joint).

This weekend we are in Alabama moving her stuff into her mom's house in Huntsville. We just arrived a few hours ago. We drove separately (she in her mom's van and me in a borrowed CHEVY truck) which was a little sad, but I had some much needed time with the Lord. The last month or so has been so hectic that I have had very few extended times alone with Jesus. It was so great to be able to talk to Him. He laid several people on my heart to pray for, many of whom are having to make big decisions/life changes. I am very thankful for that time, but I am also thankful the trip is over. The Sweet Tea I had was wearing off! I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend. No homework (the semester ended Thursday!), no deadlines, no work-work...nothing but whatever happens on a whim.

Next weekend I will be in Tennessee for a wedding (it's a good thing I like to travel!). My accountability partner is getting married and I am one of the bridesmaids. We actually threw a shower for her last night. I was in charge of the games. At first, I was like "Ug, I hate bridal shower games" but then I realized I didn't have to participate in them since I was in charge. Hehe.

This past week has been full of answered prayers. I know that the Lord always hears and answers prayers (though not always like we want or expect), but, this week in particular, they have been quick and blatant: my sister is going to Romania with my parents' blessing; my roommate survived her Greek final; the little boy that went missing from Southern MO was found alive and well; the Lord provided this week as finances were nonexistent; and the majority of our trip to AL was rain-free.

Several of my good friends are moving as well because they are either graduating from or not returning to SBTS next year. :( Of course, I can't really say too much since I do not plan on being here next fall either. Still, I am sad I will not see them around campus when I return in the spring.

Please keep Fredericktown, MO in your prayers as it is a disaster zone after being hit by a severe storm earlier today. The town has a lot of damage and many people are without power (including my family).

My Savior Can Move the Mountains

Thanks to all of you who prayed for my sister. The Lord has removed the obstacle that posed a threat to my her trip to Romania. He has once again demonstrated His sovereign power and faithfulness. Praise be to His glorious name!

Please Join Me in Prayer Today

Please pray for my sister regarding her trip to Romania. An seemingly insurmountable obstacle has arisen (of course, we know that our God can move it!). Please pray that the Lord will give her wisdom and guidance in this situation; that she will display His grace in speech and conduct; and that, ultimately, His will be done.

Almost A Full Month

Wow - it has been a long time since I have blogged...

I went home for Easter a few weeks ago. It was so wonderful to see everyone again. I hadn't been home since January 1st, which marks my longest stretch yet. I told my mom I was preparing her for next semester when, hopefully, I am overseas (I have yet to hear the official word but I am proceeding as if I had). I am acutally going home again this coming weekend. I have to pick up the bridesmaids dress I dropped off at a local seamstress but, mostly, I want to introduce Sarah to my stopping grounds and go fishing with her at the pond behind my house. Next weekend is also the Azalea Festival in Fredericktown so I really get to introduce her to small town life. :)

Yesterday, we sold most of our furniture. We still have a few items left, but I trust they will be gone soon as well. Our lease is up at the end of May. I suspect our apartment complex will not be happy with us next week when they discover that I reported them to the Health Department for the black mold we are almost certain we have upstairs. We have been rather sickly since not too long after we moved in and now we know why. I am not sure what will become of the situation, but we don't want the next tenants to suffer the effects of mold like we have. As of last week, the Lord has provided a place for me to stay for the month of June and in July I plan to go home and see my family before I leave the country.

The semester is quickly winding down (only two weeks left!). I still have a few things to do: 2 in-class finals and a take-home final, an evangelism report as well as a verbatim account of one of the six I already turned in, and a recently announced book review (of a book I was not planning on reading, grr!). I have also been planning an Intercultural Talent Show that will take place this Thursday as an end of the year event for the organization I lead on campus. The end of the semester brings some saddness as well. My room is graduating and moving to her mom's house in Alabama. :( She is one of my best friends and I am going to miss her extremely. I am helping her move the second weekend of May.

I am loving this warm weather! My roommate and I have yet to break down and turn the air on (even though its pretty toasty in here). Spiders are back in full force. I have unpleasantly discovered at least one every day for the past week. Gross.

My roommate and I went with a friend to see Slum Dog Millionaire. We good, but heart-wrenching movie. My heart breaks for the people in the slums of India just thinking about it. Even while watching the movie, I wanted them so much to hear the good news of Jesus Christ.

The Lord has been so gracious in teaching me many things and drawing me to Himself. I love Jesus more each day and realize just how much I need Him. The main lesson of this semester has been the urgency of evangelism and it is something He has placed heavily upon my heart. Futhermore, I have been studying the life of Christ in New Testament 1 and reading and re-reading the Gospel accounts and see even more how indescribable my God is.

Ahh...Reading Days...

So this week is Reading Days at Southern (in other educational circles this is known as Spring Break) and, as usual, I have lofty goals: write three papers and read as much as possible as well as work extra hours. I just just finished one paper. It took me about ten hours (eek!), but I learned so much in the process. This paper is for Church History 2 and we had to write it on a Baptist person or event and how they related to a particular issue in US history. After some research (I don't know my Baptist history!), I decided to write about Luther Rice. He had a passion for sharing the Gospel with the nations and for Lord. He was originally a Congregationalist but converted to the Baptist faith after becoming convinced through prayer and the Scriptures of their position on baptism. In short, God used him to single-handedly unite the Baptist denomination during his time and raise awareness for the needs to share the Gospel outside the US. His ideas are seen today in the SBC and Cooperative Program. I knew nothing about this guy before, but do now! It is ashamed how overshadowed he is by the legendary William Carey and Adoniram Judson. I am so thankful for Rice's work here in the States and for the chance to learn about him!

On a separate note, last Wednesday marked the 8th year since I became a follower of Christ (it also marked the 226th birthday of Luther Rice!). I am been reflecting on His work in my life over these past few days. This morning's sermon, in particular, as stirred my thoughts. At RF, Pastor Andy is preaching a sermon series called the Gifts of Easter. Today's focus was on the Gift of Grace. One of the points of the sermon was that "God's grace is our hope to overcome the past." As he was speaking, the Lord flooded my thoughts with things He has overcome in my past: my near disdain for the church, a sub-clinical eating disorder and my refusal to submit to His right to reign in my life. BUT God has been so gracious in overcoming each of these by: replacing my rejection of His church with an overwhelming love and passion for it; freeing me from my warped views of food and body image; and, most of all, breaking my will so that I would see my utter need for Christ and surrender to His gracious will for my life. These ways along with so many others are how God has chosen to reveal His grace in me. Isn't His grace beautiful?! What is better yet, one glorious Day, His work of grace will be completed in me and I will see Him FACE to FACE! (1 John 3:2, 1 2 Corinthians 3:18, Romans 8:29).

"Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within; Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin."

Christmas in March!

I received one of my Christmas presents in the mail a couple of weeks ago. It was the new ESV Study Bible. I am very blessed and still so excited to have it! I have been reading through the Gospels (very slowly and repeatedly) this year. I started with Mark and after reading through it four times, I am now in Luke. This new study Bible has helped me slowed down my pace even more which has helped me to see how each parable and account relates to each other. I am so thankful for God's Word!

My mom also received one of her Christmas gifts a couple of weeks ago. My sister and I bought her the new Tomb Raider video game (trust me, she really wanted this!). It was scheduled to release in late January so I made a little poem to put under the tree in its place. Well, as you have probably figured out, the release date was a little delayed...but she did get in just in time for her birthday! By the way, my mom has already beat the entire game...after only have it two weeks! Hilarity.

Taking a Breather

This week is shaping up to be pretty low-key which is so nice since last week was so stressful. Hence my frequent blog posts. :) I have been to the Dollar Theater three nights in a row. Crazy. I have been to more movies since last summer than in all my other years combined. Last night, my roommate and I saw Inkheart. It is about a guy who has the "gift" of making literary characters come to life when he reads a book out loud. I really enjoyed this movie. I was especially hit by the loyalty of the family members to one another (I am big on loyalty). There was a certain part, however, that really got me thinking. Midway through the movie, one of the characters that was brought to life from the book met the actual author of the book. The character, however, rejected the author. He got right up in his face and asserted that the author wasn't his God and didn't control his fate. This was the author that created him and wrote his story. Without the author, this character would not have existed. For me, this scene was a powerful picture of our rebellion against God the Father. He created us and sovereinly reigns in our lives, but we asserted our independence. In essence, we reject Him as our God and tell Him He has no right to our lives just like the character in this movie did. The truth is, however, that God created each of us and, as our Creator, has every right to our lives. Thankfully, He doesn't reject us as we reject Him. He instead took the initiative to reconcile us to Himself. Even though we don't desire Him (Romans 1-2), He desires us to know Him and paved the way for us to get to Him through Jesus Christ. For our sake, God made Jesus to be sin, though He was sinless, so that in Jesus we might become the righteousness of God.

Also yesterday, my roommate and I got to hang out with a young lady from the bank we both use. I am so thankful for this new relationship and look forward to seeing what the Lord does in it.

The Other Prodigal

So I was reading in Will Metzger's book To Tell the Truth for my Personal Evangelism class the other day and he was retelling the Prodigal Son story from the Gospel of Luke from the older son's perspective. His account was really eye-opening for me. The older son, for me, is kind of an after thought to the story, which is also the way he is portrayed in most of the sermons I have heard. From this biblical account we learn the older son is the "good" son. He stays home with his father while his younger brother leaves home and lives a wild and sensuous lifestyle. The older son does all the right things - helps around the house, stays out of trouble, and does what his father says - but even though he appears to be the perfect son, his heart is as far away from the father as the younger son is physically farther away. At the end of the parable, we can see this clearly. When the younger son came home, the father threw a huge party for him. This made the elder son very angry and jealous. He thought he deserved a party. He had "earned" the right to have one. You see, when I used to read this story, I saw it in generic terms. The younger son corresponds to each person who has rebelled against God but have now repented and accepted Christ. While this is true, I had trouble relating to the younger son. I have never been a partier or drinker or anything else that is outwardly rebellious. I can, on the other hand, relate to the older son. He focused on doing what was right. He wanted to be a "good person." He seemed to have it all together but he was still rebellious. He was a rebel on the inside. He typifies the Pharisees and anyone else that thinks they can earn their way to heaven. I can relate to him. BUT what is so great (and something I never really noticed before) is that the father went looking for him too. When the elder son was not at the party, the father went out to find him. Both the younger and older sons think that they are going to make their own way, but the father searches for both of them. This is what God the Father does for us. This is what He did for me nearly 8 years ago. I grew up in a Christian home but did not understand my need for Jesus Christ as my Savior. I was a "good" girl, why wouldn't God want me? The Lord revealed to me, however, that my rebellion festered within. I had my own plans and wanted complete control of my life. BUT God who is rich in mercy, knowing that I could never choose Him on my own, took the intiative and called me to Himself (Ephesians 1:3-15, Ephesians 2:4-8 & Romans 5:8). This is the Good News of Jesus Christ. God took the initiative by sending His Son to live the perfect life we are supposed to live but cannot and by having His Son to die a brutal death on the cross and then raise from the dead 3 days later. God takes the initiative now by offering salvation to each of us and by sending His Holy Spirit to convict our hearts of our need for Jesus as our Savior. For Jesus is the only way to God and He is everything we need.

In other news...

• I taught my lesson yesterday. It went well. The Lord was graciously with me and His Word did not return void. I may have even enjoyed teaching...
• I finished my application to serve overseas next fall. I have a couple more references to get in before it will be officially complete. Then, we will have to see what the Lord has in store. :)
• The Lord prompted me to call my aunt last night. I hesitated at first because I didn't know what I was going to say, but the Lord reassured me that He would give me the words to say. He was faithful...I have probably never spoken the Gospel so clearly in my life. This is the same aunt that I shared the Gospel with last fall. My sister and I have her a Bible. I asked her if she had read any of it and she said no. I shared the Gospel with her again. Please pray for her. I want her to believe so much that it brings me to tears...yet I know that that is not my job. Only the Holy Spirit can open her eyes to her need for Christ. She believes in the facts about Jesus but does not personally know Him. In our conversation, I repeatedly stressed the inability of good works to save us. She has been greatly influenced (negatively) by the legalistic and judgmental believers in my family. Please pray for her and her two sons.

Unsatisfied with the Ordinary

I heard this phrase in an ad today regarding teaching ESL in Asia. It made me think: am I satisfied with the ordinary? It is something so easy to do--getting too comfortable with the way things are. I have found in my own life that God seems to always start changing things up when I start getting "satisfied" with the ordinary. A year and half ago, God called me to seminary; away from everything that was familiar. Now seminary has become the new ordinary. I take it for granted because it is what I am used to. Its amazing how quickly things become routine.

But is this the way it is supposed to be? As a child of God, I don't think so. We should never be satisfied with a life of complacency. This is not to say that we should not be content (because we should!) but we should be always reaching towards the prize (Philippians 3:14)--towards Christlikeness in character and action. We should always be listening for God's leading and watching for Him at work around us. We should always be ready and willing to "go."

Anyway I will stop my rambling...this week is very busy. Two tests, lots of reading, teaching a lesson (!), serving at church and whatever else the Lord has in store. I completed my lesson plan for Titus 2:6-10. I am focusing on the need for Christians to be an example with their words. I believe this is the area of our lives that we become the laziest in. Whether sarcasm (guilty!), criticizing, complaining or the like, we need to be careful of what we are communicating. As Christians we are teachers and we are teaching somebody, whether we realize it or not. The book of Proverbs and James have much to say on this topic.

Finally, I would like to share something I came across in the book I am reading about the Reformers. This is the first time I have been really exposed to them which has it ups (I am not completely blind to their faults and do not regard them too highly as some do) and downs (they taught and explained some great truths from Scripture). Currently, I am learning about John Calvin. This is what he had to say on why Christ is and had to be God:

"for it was His task to swallow up death. Who but Life could do this? It was His task to conquer sin. Who but very Righteousness could do this? It was His task rout the powers of the world and air. Who but a power higher than the world and air could do this? Therefore our most merciful God, when He willed that we be redeemed, made Himself our Redeemer in the person of His only-begotten Son."

We serve an extra-ordinary God!

I Had a Special Visitor!

It's funny how you don't realize how much you miss something/someone until your reminded. My sister came to Southern this weekend for the Give Me an Answer conference. She stayed with me last night so we were able to hang out a little. Unfortunately, the teaching class I am taking fell on this weekend so I spend most of last evening preparing an inductive Bible study which was due this morning. Kristi had homework to do as well, but we still had fun. I got to visit with her briefly again today over lunch...but now the conference is over...she is gone and I am sad. The visit was sort of like a teaser since it was so short and it makes me really want to go home...

On a different note, I can tell this teaching class is going to stretch me. The next time we meet (in two weeks) I have to have prepared a Bible study lesson to teach on Titus 2:6-10...lasting 45 minutes! I have asked God to show me through this class whether or not I have the gift of teaching (which I have been told I have in dormat form) and I believe He will answer. I am pretty excited about finding illustrations, movie clips or videos that correlate with my "teaching idea." The Lord has blessed me with some wonderful teachers in my life to use as models.

I have also been reconsidering my seminary pace. Since I arrived at Southern, my goal has been get in and get out as soon as possible (3 years). Now I am beginning to wonder: is this the Lord's plan or mine?

Told it to Jesus

So I had my "little talk with Jesus." Now the healing can begin. I am still so amazed by the way the Lord brings Scripture my way in times like these. As is often the case, the verse on my journal page was what I needed to hear (Isaiah 30:18). I am so thankful that the Lord is patient with me and waited on me to come to Him. Furthermore, someone commented on my blog and encouraged me with Jude 24. The Lord has been using one of the verses from the sermon I heard as well. God never ceasing to amaze me. I am so thankful for all that He is and has done for me in Christ!

I forgot to mention in my last post that I had the opportunity to go to a free concert at school by Kristyn and Keith Getty. I love their songs. They are so rich in biblical truths and stir ones heart for Jesus. It was such a blessing!

Need = Tell it to Jesus

The semester is finally under way. I am much more excited and motivated about this semester than the last one. This refreshed attitude, I know, is a gift from the Lord. I am priveledged to be able to study at Southern and sometimes I forget that. The two classes I am most excited about are Hermeneutics and New Testament I. Basically, in N.T. we are studying the life of Jesus. I have only had two classes and I am already hooked on this class! It has stirred my affections for the Lord Jesus Christ which is a direct answer to prayer.

On a way more serious and extremely vague note: the Lord made me aware of an issue that I need to deal with from my childhood that I didn't even know was an issue. I guess I have suppressed it all these years, but while I was listening to a sermon the Holy Spirit brought it to the forefront. All these memories and feelings have flooded my mind and I am not sure how to deal with them. There are maybe two people I would even feel comfortable talking about this with and they are both in Missouri. One of them is my sister and talked briefly about it with her. I have so much trouble expressing my feelings that I didn't get it all out on the table. What is worse (way worse) is that I really don't even want to talk to Jesus about it. I don't want to deal with it. I just want it to go back into its suppressed state. [Side note: what's funny is that when I was reflecting on the issue and the sermon, this song crept into my mind: "have a little talk with Jesus"--obviously God was trying to tell me something. :)] Alas...I know ignoring the issue is not an option...so I need prayer. Please pray for me.

A Snow Day in Cincinnati

Today, Sarah and I decided on a whim to go to Cincinnati and visit the Creation Museum. It was an excellent presentation of the Creation account in Genesis and of the authority of God's Word. I really liked how they contrasted God's Word with human reason. They had an exhibit of Noah's ark (below) and had a video account of the way it happened. I found their theories of how dinosaurs and pangea fit into the biblical account of creation especially interesting. They ended the tour with a video presentation of the Gospel. Very good. I would highly recommend anyone to visit it.

Also, while in Cincinnati, we stopped by Jungle Jim's. It is a crazy, international supermarket. Sarah bought some cool things. I just pushed the cart and took pictures...like of the Cereal Bowl Band (see below).

Due to recent events concerning the church where my roommate is on staff, I am upgrating my rating of The Present Future from 3 to 4 stars. This book was written because of churches like them.

Sarah & me with the Apostle Paul.

It's beginning to look a lot like...Narnia!

So this week was supposed to be the first week of spring semester classes. Not so much. I cannot say I am totally disappointed. I mean, I am looking forward to this semester...but everybody loves them a snow day...or 2 or 3! The seminary is without power and has closed down for the week. Our power went out last night around 3 a.m. and we got it back this evening around 9:00. Praise the Lord!

This extra time off has given me the opportunity to get some reading for the semester done as well as continue the application process for serving overseas next fall. You would think that writing essays about yourself would be easy...but not so much. I have 5 of the 6 completed. The one I am working on now has to do with my spiritual gifts. I am praying through this one. I know the 2 I have for sure, but there are a couple of others I am not sure about. I mean, who I am to say that God has blessed me with more than that?

One of the books I am currently reading is about the KJV Only controversy. It is really interesting and eye-opening. I find it especially interesting because the KJV used to be my translation of choice up until a few years ago when I switched to the ESV. The author has made some really good points about copy errors, similar translation controversies, available manuscripts and textual variants. I think it is amazing the way the Lord has preserved His Word throughout these many years.

Over break, I was able to read 2 books for leisure/pleasure: Dr. Sill's new book (5 out of 5 stars) and The Present Future by Reggie McNeal (3 out of 5 stars). The former is an excellent book for anyone wondering if God has called them to serve Him overseas. The latter is a great book for anyone who is fed up with inner-focused churches. McNeal makes some great points about what he calls the "church club member" mentality. Sometimes he comes off rather negative in his attitude toward church membership and formal training, but I think that is mainly do to his strong passion to see the church be all she is called to be in Christ.

Well, I am off to bed. I didn't get any sleep last night because of the cracking trees so I am looking forward to a morning of sleeping in!

Mmm...hot chocolate!!!

Immersed in Philosophy

Today was my first day of J-term in Philosophy. It was pretty interesting and my professor is hysterical. We discussed several different worldviews. It amazes me sometimes what people will believe. For instance, he told us about a NY bureacrat who thinks that indicating male or female on a birth certificate is gender oppression. People should be free to "create" their own gender and not be limited to what is on their birth certificate. In other words, biology doesn't matter, be who you want to be. This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard (right up there with we can't know if anything really exists).

My professor said that all worldviews when followed to their logical conclusions lead to one of two ends: nihilism (the belief that nothing exists) or Christianity. I found this pretty interesting.

Also, in my class, there was another person with my last name. We got to talking and discovered we are like 3rd cousins. Small world.

Another Step...

Last night I began the application process for serving in South America this fall. I am still not for certain if this is what God has for me but I do sense Him pulling me in this direction.

Please, please pray for me. I am struggling with this right now. It is not because I do not want to go, but there is something gripping me right now...mainly lies from the enemy (the details of which I will save for my personal journal). Just know that I covet your prayers and desire to do God's will above all else.

Proving My Words

This past year, the Lord has taught me so much in regards to His faithfulness and provision and my rebelliousness and need for Him. One thing the Lord has been teaching me specifically, especially over the last month or so, is His sovereignty over my checkbook. While it is easy to live by the numbers recorded in my register, I have learned to trust God instead. When my balance drops in the low single digits, I know that I have no need to worry because the Lord will provide in some way--a babysitting or dogsitting opportunity, extra hours at work, a generous gift from a family member or friend, etc. I am always so amazed at the ways He chooses to meet my needs. I always have just enough...and for that I am so thankful.

When I was home for Thanksgiving, my dad brought up the importance of money in our lives. He told me that money was our strength and then whipped out some Bible verse to support his view. I told him I didn't agree with him and asserted that Jesus was my Strength, not money. The following Sunday, while I was at church, the Lord prompted me to give a significant (to me anyways) sum of money to the Imagine Campaign. When I hesitated, He reminded me of my words ("Jesus is my strength") and in essence told me to prove them. This has happened several times since then. The fact is because of th extra giving, the extra expenses (Christmas, renewed car license & oil change and the like) and missing 2 weeks worth of work because of Thanksgiving & Christmas, I should not have been able to pay rent or my other bills. BUT the wonderful truth is I was able to because my Lord is my Provider. In many ways and through various people, I gave me what I needed. For instance, my roommate and I won the decorating contest at our apartment complex and, as a result, received a discount off of rent. See how gracious the Lord is! He knows my needs and He is faithful to provide.

This is what the Bible has to say in Psalm 52:6-9 about the difference between trusting in God and trusting in riches:

The righteous shall see [God punishing those who don't trust in Him] and fear, and shall laugh at him [the wicked], saying, "See the man who would not make God his refuge, but trusted in the abundance of his riches and sought refuge in his own destruction!"
But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast
love of God forever and ever. I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.

Jesus is enough.