Small Step

Yesterday, I took a small step in a direction the Lord may be leading me. As I have mentioned a couple of times before, I have been praying about studying overseas next fall. As I was listening to a sermon on obedience on my drive to MO, I felt the Lord leading me to discuss this with my parents. Now, I know talking to my parents sounds like a no-brainer, but I usually do not tell my parents about this sort of thing until I am 100% sure that the Lord wants me to do something. This time, however, the Lord prompted me to tell them before I know for sure. So I reserved to do so and prayed for the opportunity. The opportunity came yesterday in the car. I asked them to join me in prayer as I seek the Lord's direction. They really didn't say much, to my surprise; just asked a few questions. I am still seeking the Lord's direction about this. It is a great opportunity and makes sense to pursue, but I want to make sure I am doing what the Lord wants. If He wants me to go, I will go. If He wants me to stay, I will stay. The if, when or where I do not know, but one thing I do know: the Lord will guide me.

Remembering and Revealing...

I do not usually keep anniversaries of events or stuff like that, but the Lord has been pleased to remind me of certain things He has done in my life and when I consider how long it has been, they "happen" to be at milestone-type years.

Five years ago, the Lord did two pretty significant things in my life. The first is that I began to sense Him leading me to serving Him overseas. I struggled with this call for several months: was it really His voice or just my imagination? Is He for sure? What would I do? Where would I go? How could He use a shy, country girl like me for His kingdom? As I read Dr. Sills's book, the Lord has been reconfirming His calling on my life. What that looks like exactly, I have no idea, but I trust the Great Shepherd to direct me into His perfect will.

Also five years ago, the Lord revealed to me and began dealing with me about an incredible vice in my life. I had some serious issues with body image and food that were taking complete control of my life. It became my "god." I was not anorexic or bulimic so I didn't even realize I had a problem until the Lord shined His glorious light on it. I was a sophomore at Missouri Baptist University in Saint Louis at the time, and on Wednesday nights I would ride home to Fredericktown with some friends to attend church. It was during one of these services that the Lord showed me my problem. I don't remember the sermon, but I do remember that we were asked to write down something that we needed to surrender to God and lay it at the alter. This was the first step in a long process of recovery. The biggest breakthrough came when the Lord led me to a book about the very thing I was dealing with. It was called Life Inside the "Thin Cage" by Constance Rhodes. I discovered it while looking up something for my mom on a Christian bookstore website. At the bottom of the page was a link that read: "I don't have an eating disorder. I just watch what I eat..." I clicked on the link and read about the book and KNEW I had to buy it. So I did. The author was a Christian woman who used to have the same misconceptions about food and body image that I was experiencing. I couldn't believe it. It blew my mind that other people struggled in this manner. She labeled this subclinical eating disorder as Chronic Dieting which is characterized with an obsession with watching what you eat, declaring some foods to be "safe" and other to be "off-limits" and other made-up rules for eating. For me, it began with wanting to "get into shape" and be "healthy", but then somewhere along the line it became something way more. I started adding rules...lots of them (when to eat/not eat, what to eat/not eat, punishment for breaking rules, etc.). Added to this were the lies of the enemy and the standards of the media/culture. I was then trapped in my own self-made prison and filled with shame that I ever got in that position to begin with. The Lord Jesus Christ, however, is the Chain Breaker. Check out this portion from Psalm 107:

Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.
Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.
Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with
rejoicing. (v.17-22)

That is what He did in my life. He delivered me from my destructions and saved me from my distresses. He used His Word and He used a book. If you have something you are dealing with, He can handle it. Give it to Him. He will save you when you turn to Him. He always knows the best way.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not
forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:8-10

Father, I thank you that You have a plan for my life and that you did not leave me to myself but always lead and guide me. You are the Great Shepherd and Healer. Thank you for breaking me out of the prison I created for myself and continue to lead me into Your Truth and into Your Will. Use the trials and circumstances in my life as a testament to Your goodness and as a way to further the name of Christ. Thank you Jesus for eternally taking on flesh and becoming one of us so that You might save us. You are beautiful and I love you. Amen.

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your
wonderful deeds. Pslam 9:1

Before I end (I know this post is long enough already), I have a prayer request. My cousin Shawn has been very ill. I am not clear on all the details, but His stomach has knots in it and bacteria, bile is leaking into his stomach, he is unable to keep down food so he has lost a lot of weight and the other day he passed out. He has also missed many days of work. To top things off, he had an allergic reaction to the medicine the doctors gave him. Please pray for his healing, for the Lord to give the doctors wisdom, for his wife and for the Lord to provide for them financially as he misses work. Thank you.

2008 Weddings

Exciting News!

...well, at least it is to me. :)

My driver, Bobby Labonte, announced that he is leaving Petty Enterprises! This means he may have a chance at winning again. Hurray!!!

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire...

Well, not a real fire. Last weekend my roommate and I put up the Christmas tree, lights and other Christmas decor. We also spend some time building a fireplace...



which we are pretty proud of it, I am not going to lie. :) We also plan to decorate our patio for the contest our apartment complex is holding. Winners receive a discount off of January's rent. My boss is going to let me take whatever I need from the store to decorate. Fun times.

I have started Dr. Sill's new book. I am only 4 chapters into it, but it has been so good so far. I highly recommend it.

Unfortunately, I have to read for school as well. I am taking a one-week philosophy course in January. Gag.

The Lord has been so gracious in providing for me financially this week. I was worried about going home for Thanksgiving and missing a week of work, but He has sovereignly provided in such a way that it's like I never missed work. Slowly, I am beginning to trust Him over my checkbook. What a blessing He is to serve!

CHRISTmas is quickly approaching. I hate how the glory of Christ gets overshadowed by all the holiday hype. The Lord has been teaching me over the past couple of years the impact of what this holiday represents. Christ, who is fully God, humbled Himself by taking on the weakness of human flesh (while not ceasing to be divine in any way). He became a baby. Babies, may I remind you, are Weak, but He never ceased to be God. Mystery of all mysteries. He dwelt among us (Immanuel). He became one of us in order that He might save us.

When you did awesome things that we did not look for, you came
down, the mountains quaked at your presence. From of old no one has
heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides
you, who acts for those who wait for him. -Isaiah 64:3-5

!!!

I am finished for the semester!!!

I am so excited to be able to read for pleasure!!!

I get to spend more time with Jesus!!!

More sleep and less caffeine!!!

:)

Greater Things are Yet to Come

So today I went to the annual Celebration event at my home church which this year was incorporated into the regular services. I experienced the presence of Jesus Christ in a way that my soul has been longing for. This was a direct answer to last night's prayer. More than that, through these services I was reminded of the greatness of God. He is infinitely worthy and the whole Meadow Heights Church family dedicated this weekend to remembering who He is and what He has done through us this past year. Isn't it amazing that the God of the universe chooses to use us, His children, to fulfill His plans? What better way to show forth His glory! He is infinitely wise. What a privilege and blessing it was to be able to join in this celebration! I even got to share in the Lord's Supper with this church family which I have had not had the honor of doing so since I moved to Kentuckiana.

The Lord is up to great things in the Parkland through Meadow Heights Church. He is transferring people from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light by the transforming power of the Gospel. Please keep this church and her leaders in your prayers.

Jesus Christ is God of this city and He has only just begun His work through us...

Word on the Road

I made it home...in pretty good time if I say so myself. :)

The trip was much needed time with the Lord. I listened two music and three sermons. I have heard them all before multiple times and I am still amazed at the way the Lord speaks to me through them. His Word never returns void. :) What encouragement that is for evangelism and preaching. His Word is Living and Active and sharper than any two-edge sword.

I am started to feel better which I am very thankful for. Thanks to everyone for the bday and get well wishes.

The sky tonight is clear and littered with bright crystal stars. They are beautiful. I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing them until this evening. God knows every one of them by name, you know. :)

I can tell my cat missed me...she mawled my arm when I picked her up. Much more welcoming greeting than I usually get I suppose. Hehe.

Tomorrow my sister and I got to worship at MH and share in the top-secret Celebration Weekend. I am very excited!

Well, my family calls...

Current Events in My Life

Today is the last day of classes for the semester...though I am not attending them. I caught some kind of bug and was up all last night and most of the morning sick. I have been this sick in many years. Thankfully, I am starting to feel a little better and may even try to go to work for a few hours.

Two things happen in two days:
1. I get to go home to Missouri
2. I turn 25

Remember how the store I work at was nominated as Louisville's Best Businesses in the Wedding Invitation Category. Well, we won. :) I don't think we get anything but the sheer joy of winning...which I am fine with. :)

My sister and I bought my Mom's Christmas present online last night. One present down, a few more to go.

Semester in Review: This semester has been one of the most difficult. Not because the work load as been overbearing but I have been apathetic towards my schoolwork as well as weary of it and I have been undisciplined in general. The Lord has taught me much through it all. Key themese have been spiritual warfare, perseverance, trust/faith, the need to watch my life and doctrine and accountability. This semester I was forced to have an accountability partner for my Spiritual Disciplines class. I dreaded the assignment first, but it has actually been a blessing. I have gained a new sister and Christ and learned the importance of opening up to others. I also translated an entire book of the Bible (1 John) which is such a privilege.

I am still praying about studying/serving overseas next semester. My sister is also praying about going to Romania with Mobap this spring. Please join us as we pray for these things.

Oh, oh...I saw both new Batman movies this past week (Batman Begins & The Dark Knight). They were so good! The acting (minus Katie Holmes), storylines and action scenes were superb. I cannot wait until the third one gets underway!

The Kabob Party we had went well. We were so privileged to have a Muslim family attend and for them to hang around a group of Christians most of the night. This was an answer to prayer for my friend that brought them and I am so thankful to the Lord that He used our small party in such a way.

The Lord has been bidding me to return to Him and I am finally listening. I have been very selfish with my free time lately and I have been ignoring His promptings to seek Him more. Of this I am ashamed. How could I? But I did and through sermons and lectures I have heard over the past week of so I see my sin and trying to get back into a disciplined way of life. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ that He never stops pursuing us! If you have not met with Him today or even this week, it's not too late. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you...He promised and He is faithful!

Breaking Out of the Bubble

First, I must say that I finished my Greek paper! :)

Second, I exercised my right as an American citizen today by voting. My roommate and I got up early, threw on hoodies and ran out the door to vote when the poles opened. I voted for the lesser of the two evils (McCain). I take comfort in the fact, however, that the Lord reigns over this election and His purpose will be accomplished.

These past few weeks have been extremely busy...but not completely with schoolwork. I have decided to break out of the seminary bubble of studying that I had been sucked into. It has been so great to hang out with and serve others. Over the past couple of weeks my roommate and I have pushed our homework aside and had dinner with our neighbors, attended each other's churches' truck or treat (below), had a couple friends over and attended a birthday party. On Sunday, I went with my boss to Otter Creek and did a little hiking (below). It was absolutely beautiful there. The Lord has been so gracious in blessing these times and also by blessing my studies. This week, we are having our neighbors over and then we are having a kabob-themed party this weekend. Fun times. :) The Lord has used these times to refresh me and break me out of the rut I had fell into of work, work, work. My pastor (from home) encouraged me find the ways that refresh my spirit while I am at seminary and this semester I have not been good at doing this. It happened so slyly that I hadn't noticed until the Lord showed me...and I am so thankful He did. :)

The Lord has been teaching me so much about Church History, Greek and Spiritual Warfare through my classes. Please pray that all this learning will not puff me up (1 Corinthians 8:1) but will make me fall even more in love with my Savior. He is so much more worthy than what I have to offer Him and I cannot wait to see Him face to face.

I get to go home the whole week of Thanksgiving! I am so excited. This also means that I get to attend my home church's annual celebration event and I get to attend Two weekend gatherings. :) Plus, I get to spend the whole week with my sister. I miss her.

The Lord continues to amaze me with His provision and continues to teach me about trusting Him.

There is more to say, but I am so tired. I think I may go to bed...even though it is not yet 9:00.

A Momentous Occasion :)

Ahhh!

I just realized today that my Greek Syntax paper is due in two weeks!

Marching Forward

The past few weeks have been a battle spiritually. I can sense that the Lord is about to do something in my life and the enemy is aroused. The Lord has been gracious by bringing Scripture to my mind (the Sword of the Spirit) and covering me with the prayers of my fellow warriors. I have been learning a lot about spiritual warfare in my Spiritual Warfare class, and now I feel the heat of the battle. It has been hard, but I pray by His strength I will stand firm.

Today, the Lord once again allowed me to talk to someone about Christ. While the last time was expected, this one totally was not. I was in the Wal-Mart parking lot, putting groceries in my car, when a young man approached me and told me that his vehicle had ran out of gas. I told him I didn't have any cash, but he said he had a gas container so I walked with him to the Wal-Mart gas station and we filled it up. During this time, I learned he was from L.A., is starting classes this week at a welding school, why he moved to Louisville, and that his girlfriend/wife is pregnant. I shared with him that I also moved here to go to school. Announcing that I go to seminary, of course, steers the conversation towards spiritual matters so we talked about God, Jesus, and Judgment Day. He has a Roman Catholic and Church of Christ background and his significant other (who I later discovered was waiting for him in the truck) has Baptist roots. I am not sure where they stand with the Lord, but they know some Truth. I recommended them to a church on the KY side of the river (where they live) and gave them one of the sermon series I had in my car. I will probably never see them again, but I hope and pray that the Lord would guide them towards Himself. Their names are Billy and Tiffany. Please pray for them. What is really interesting about this situation is that just yesterday I was asking the Lord how I was going to be able to be a witness for Him overseas if I am not a witness for Him here where I'm comfortable, and I asked him to give me opportunities to share His goodness. So He did. :) "Ask and you shall receive." Be assured that God does hear our prayers and He will answer them in His own way and time.

This past week was Fall Break, and, sadly, it is swiftly coming to an end. I did not accomplish all my goals (as usual, I set the standard too high), but I did have two lovely days of no work and no school. One was especially sweet because I got to spend the majority of it with the Lord. Those two days were such a blessing away from schoolwork because even though I didn't accomplish all my goals, I stayed plenty busy with a 10 page paper, reading, a Greek midterm, and a Spiritual Warfare midterm [not the one I am facing right now outside of the classroom, but the one for my actual class ;)]. Speaking of which, I listened to a sermon on spiritual warfare after taking my test which spoke about the armor of God. Besides it being what I needed to hear, I wished I had listened to it before my test so I could have written a better essay on the armor of God, hehe.

I am still praying about serving overseas in the coming year. The sixth month program is still heavy on my mind. I looked at the jobs and locations avaiable and, while I long to work with orphans, an ESL teaching position in South America struck a chord in me. I will keep you posted as the Lord directs me.

I have been considering sharing a struggle in my life (which few people know about) that the Lord delivered me from several years ago. My reasons for sharing: 1. to testify to the Lord's goodness, providence & power; 2. to be more vulnerable (which, if you know me, is something I fight against); and 3. to encourage anyone who might stumble across this blog who is going through a similar struggle. My reasons for not sharing: 1. I am not sure if I am ready to be that vulnerable; 2. I really can't think of another reason at the moment, but I am sure there is a really good one that would be inserted here ;).

There is more to share, but I am too tired to remember what...

Update on Mi Mama

My mom was released from the hospital today. She was told she had a blood clot yesterday then told that she didn't today (the doctor had assumed without looking at the ultrasound). The Ear, Nose & Throat doctor saw her this morning and verified that she has TMJ (lockjaw) which was caused by an arthritic flair-up. Since there is basically nothing they can do but give her pain meds (which she already has plenty of at home), they sent her home. She is feeling much better, however. Thank you for your prayers. I know that she is feeling better because of the Lord's faithfulness to hear His prayerful people.

Aside: The lessons of the Lord are sweet, albeit bitter while in the midst. But I would rather be in the Valley of Trials with the Lord's presence than on the Mountain of Ease while feeling far from Him. His fellowship is sweeter by the day and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Praises & Concerns from the Weekend

I just returned safely, by God's grace, to Indiana. My trip home was eventful and full of ups and downs.

Ups/Praises :)
1. The Lord gave me the opportunity to talk to my aunt about Christ and the Holy Spirit gave me the words to say. It is such an exciting and joyful thing to know that the Spirit is speaking through you. "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit." Please pray that the Spirit causes the truth she heard to take root in her heart.
2. The Lord used my sister in a similar fashion to encourage a brother in Christ.
3. I got my car back. :)
4. The Lord ministered to me in such a powerful way throughout the weekend in various ways.
5. I met with my pastor.
6. I got to give Kristi her birthday present. :)
7. I went to church and it was especially comforting and much needed after Saturday night's events (below).

Downs/Prayer Requests :(
1. Trying times with my dad {though the Lord did remind me of my prayer to be more Christ-like while I was driving this evening ;)}
2. We had to take my mom to the ER Saturday night because she suddenly developed excruciating pain in her jaws and ears and also had pain in her chest and neck. My mom has a high tolerance for pain so I cannot even imagine the amount of pain she must of had as she cried and groaned uncontrollably and held her head in her hands for several hours. It was almost unbearable to witness. The doctor did several tests (EKG & 2 CAT scans which, thankfully, came back normal) before finally giving her medicine to dull the pain. They think they may have found a blood clot in her thigh but they aren't for sure (unrelated to the pain in her jaw/ear/neck area). She was admitted into the hospital and there reamains as they continue to run tests and stuff. The doctor she saw today thinks she may have TBJ (lockjaw if I am not mistaken) so a Ear, Nose & Throat specialist is going to see her tomorrow. Please pray for her healing and wisdom for the doctors.
3. Lack of sleep (4 hours last night and again tonight)

Not exactly how I thought my weekend would go, but the Lord was still so gracious in His provision and care. I was reminded of what wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ the Lord has blessed me with. I am deeply touched with the love and concern they have shown. Futhermore, the Lord ministered to me in a special way on the road this evening through songs and a sermon. I was reminded once again that I cannot do it all and that I have to:
1. Put something down: which for me means to suck up my pride and admit I cannot do all my reading for school...sorry New Testament 1, your reading will be the first to go
2. Hand something off: this is something I have been thinking about lately regarding the Connection Team I lead at RF and the organization I lead at school, but the Lord hasn't shown me the who and the how yet.
3. Give something to God: my finances/debt and the schoolwork I am drowning in

Ok, I seriously better go to bed so I can semi-function tomorrow.

Week Ahead

Before I get into my post...We have electricity!!! It came on around 10:00 last night and we are so thankful to the Lord. :)

This means that it is time to get back into the swing of things. This week promises to be a busy one (aren't they all?) but one I am looking forward to. Here is the agenda (Lord willing of course!):
Monday: I am off the entire day...well, except for helping out Mrs. K., but I don't really consider that work.
Tuesday: Back to classes...
Wednesday: My former roommate at Mobap just moved to the area and I am heading to her place after work.
Thursday: Free ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery (YUM!) and ISF (the organization I lead at school) is hosting it's first Praying for the Nations event. We are focusing on Russia & Eastern Europe during this meeting. I look forward to learning about this region and lifting it up to the Lord will my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sometime between Thursday evening and Friday morning I am heading home. :) This is exciting for many reasons, but most of all I am missing some very dear people to me more than usual and I get my car back. My dad and I swapped cars the last time I was home because my car had a bad strut which he was unable to get off by the time I had to leave. I miss my car and my CD player and music and sermon CDs, and will be glad to have them back. :)
Friday: meeting with my pastor which I am looking forward to. Plus I get to give my sister her bday gift (Today, 9/22, is her 21st birthday...make sure to wish her a happy bday). I also plan on visiting my aunt with the intentions of sharing the gospel with her. Please pray that she will be receptive (and at home!), the Lord will give me the words to say, & that I would be sensitive to the Spirit's leading.
Saturday: no plans...maybe Meadow Heights :)
Sunday: Meadow Heights if not the night before, eating Cold Stone (again!) with my sister for her birthday & heading back to Indiana.
Homework will have to be worked in there whenever possible, of course. :)

I look forward to all that the Lord has in store this week. Following Jesus is such an adventure...my week may look like this or it may not. :) He is worth anything and everything I could possbily give up and I trust His all-wise and sovereign plan. What a wonderful and awesome and beautiful God He is!

Emerging...

I bet you thought I had fallen off the edge of the earth. :)

I am sitting at a friend's house right now *borrowing* internet and enjoying some hospitality. Praise the Lord for good friends. As most of you know, Hurricane Ike came through the Kenutuckiana area causing much damage and leaving many without power, including my roommate and me. We lost power Sunday afternoon and we don't expect it back anytime soon unless the Lord by His grace intervenes. We have much to be thankful for though:
1. We have water! In F'town, when we lost power, we didn't have water either.
2. Our refridgerator wasn't full of food. We lost almost everything that was in there but at least we hadn't just gone to the grocery store.
3. We are safe.
4. We were able to meet our neighbor and invite her over. Please pray that the Lord will continue to give us opportunities to get to know her.
5. It isn't hot or cold outside.
6. Our next electric bill should be cheaper. :)
7. No school. This is such a blessing because I am able to catch up on all the work I was behind. This is such answered to prayer (though not exactly the answer I was expecting :) ).
8. Papers Unique has power so I can still work.
9. We know people who have electricity and are gracious enough to share it.
10. The hot water is insulated enough that I was able to take a hot shower.

"...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." -Philippians 4:11b

Regarding my last post, I have a few updates. I now have one job. I no longer work at B&BW or A+ Tutoring. The Lord gave me those jobs and has saw fit to reduce me to one...which is fine with me.
Please continue praying for my home church, but also pray for my local church. Last Sunday, one of the elders announced he was leaving the church. He really didn't explain why but I appreciate the openeness of it all. Both of these situations have left me a little dishearted, but the Lord has been so gracious in ministering to me. He reminded me through a sermon a few weeks ago that He is still in control of His church and working even when He can't be seen. Also, I was reminded that churches that are advancing the Kingdom of God are a target for Satan.

Aside: Have y'all seen the latests commercials about High Fructose Corn Syrup?! The corn people are trying to pass off that it is healthy and "all-natural." Please! The FDA, of course, is fully supporting them. How can they just get on TV and flat out lie? HFC is hard on the liver and makes you crave more food.

I have a couple more prayer requests before I finish:
1. Please pray for me financially. During my time of unstability of either not having a job or not making enough money, I have accrued some credit card debt. I know this is my fault, but please pray that the Lord will graciously allowing me to climb out of the hole I have dug.
2. A week or two ago, we were challenged in chapel to go overseas for at least one week in the coming year. Those who were willing to take up the challenge were encouraged to stand and were prayed for and I was one of those who stood. I have been planning on going on overseas some time within the next year for A.M. credit at school. There are several options: I could go for one week over spring break to West Africa, two weeks to somewhere in Asia over the summer, or 4 months (!) to South America during one of the upcoming semesters. Please, please pray that the Lord would give me guidance. I want to go and do whatever He wants me to do no matter what the cost.

Thank you for those of you who support me in prayer. I appreciate it more than you know.

Lessons of the Lord: the Lord' s provision and sovereignty, spiritual warfare, the gloriousness of the Son taking on flesh forever, the history of the early church

On My Heart

I have a prayer request for whomever may be reading this. My home church has been heavy upon my heart these past few days and I would like for you to share the burden with me by joining me in prayer. There has been some changes in leadership-of which I do not know the details, but God does-so I ask for you to pray these things for the leaders and for the church in general:
1. Unity
2. that Satan would not be given a foothold
3. relationships would be restored/healed where necessary
4. the Holy Spirit would bring conviction where necessary
5. the Lord Jesus Christ would be lifted high in all things and in every way

Also, I was contacted about tutoring again. I am not sure if the Lord wants me to do this or not. I have to reply to them by the 4th so please pray that the Lord would give me clear guidance. Also, pray for me financially. I know that the Lord will supply my every need according to His riches in Christ Jesus, but there are times when I have trouble holding on to this truth. Please pray that the Lord would strengthen me to hold fast to Him without wavering. I know He will provide and I can't wait to report when He does.

The Lord Jesus Christ is so absolutely beautiful and worthy of all praise. I hope you have taken the time to remember that today.

When we see His matchless face, in speechless awe we'll stand and there we'll bow with greatful hearts before the great I AM.

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

I'm Not Superwoman After All

It's true. I have to suck it up and admit that I have taken too much on. After only a week of school, I feel so behind and very stressed. The Lord, however, knows this, and in a whirlwind of events, He led me to put my two weeks notice in at Bath & Body Works. I am still processing the situation. I went into the weekend with no thought of any of this, but while I was working at B&BW Friday night, the Lord pressed upon my heart that He wanted me to quit. I continually prayed about it that night and the next day I talked to the head manager about taking the semester off. She told me that to do so would terminate me from the system as far as seniority rights and pay raises go, but, if I wanted, I could work one day a month to keep my account active. I told her I would think and pray about it, which I did that night and the following day. As I prayed and tried to reason my way through this decision, the Lord made me realize that He didn't give me the option of working one day a month. He told me to quit, so at the meeting Sunday night, I put in my two weeks notice. I am a little sad about it all as I really enjoyed my job, liked my coworkers, and, most of all, longed to be a light of Life to those I was in contact with (which I think I failed miserably at). BUT I am my Lord's and it is His will I want so mine must die. They said they would call me after the semester was over to see if I wanted to work through the holidays. Please pray for me about that even now so that I will do what the Lord wants me to do when that time comes.

Let me tell you a story of God's most recent act of provision in my life. Through it the Lord reminded me that He knows my needs before I ask Him or, in this case, even know to ask Him. Monday, before classes started, the lid from my laptop came partly unattached—held together by only one of the two hinges. Nice timing, right? Even though, I knew my sister had talked about buying me a new laptop with the money the Lord has blessed her with, I loathed the timing of this situation. My computer, however, was still usable, so I did what I could with super glue and tape for a quick fix.
I took my laptop to school the following day to takes notes as is my custom. Although the tape and glue did not hold the whole day, I was able to use it as normal. When I returned to my apartment later that afternoon, there was a DHL slip on my door that stated, “Sorry we missed you” and that they would return on the following day. Since neither my roommate nor I were expecting a package in the mail, our curiosity drove us to the Internet to look up the tracking number. The package was for me from DELL! The Lord had put in my sister’s heart to buy me a laptop, and it arrived the day after mine broke. What sovereignty and provision! He knew in advance that my laptop was going to break and, in His divine sovereignty and wisdom, He worked out the circumstances so that I would not have to go more than one day with a broken laptop. I am so thankful for His love and providential care and for blessing me with such a terrific sister. :)

What?!

Check this out: I talked to my mom today (she is doing well, by the way) and she told me that she found out that one of her home-health nurses has a son who is one of the writers for LOST. I was like, are you kidding me?! She wasn't. Home-grown right in good ol' Fredericktown, MO. Who would have guessed that? I wouldn't have in a million years...but it's pretty cool.

Among other news: I bought my books Monday. Depressing. Not because they aren't good books but because they were so incredibly $$$. This also means one more thing: school starts next week! I am not so sure I am quite ready yet, but I am so excited for whatever the Lord has in store to teach me (both in and out of the classroom).

School beginning next week also means that I am running out of time to finish the book I am reading (A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot). It is such a good book and I highly recommend it. Amy Carmichael is an incredibly godly women who spent 60 years of her life (with no furlough!) in India serving children and the less fortunate. She had an undying passion for evangelism and the glory of God and demonstrated the love of Christ to those around her with whole-hearteded devotion. Some of her writings and works tug at my heart in powerful ways and I am so thankful to the Lord for leading me to read this book (as it was His idea not mine).

There is more to write, but, alas, I must get ready for bed...

Vote for Us!

Papers Unique and Gifts (one of the places I work and is quickly becoming my primary job) has recently been nominated as one of the Louisville area's best businesses in the 2008 Best of the WLKY A-List contest! Please click here to vote for us (we are in the Weddings category under Invitations). What is even better than this is that I got to take pictures to advertise our products for this site (which for those of you who know me, know that photography is a passion of mine). I am so thankful to the Lord for this job; it has been a blessing in so many ways.

Returned to Reality

My vacation to Florida and Missouri has come to an end and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. It was such a blessing from the Lord to be able to have the time off from work and spend it withthose I love. I am so thankful to Him for it. Disney World was great as I was able to connect with my inner child. ;) I am not much on rides but I did venture on to some pretty crazy ones. I was also able to meet and get my picture taken with Mickey & Minnie (who gave me a kiss, hehe), Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Belle. We also went to Universal Studios and the beach.

I returned from Florida on Saturday and then hopped in my car to drive to Missouri. When I got home I showed up my hundreds of pictures (of course!) and I played Uno with my family until three in the morning. Sunday I got to go to Meadow Heights and see my church family and then...I was able to go to See You at the Pool where several people were baptized. The Lord blessed us this year with 117 baptisms...that is 117 people in whom God miraculously awakened dead hearts to see the worth and beauty of His Son Jesus Christ. He alone deserves the credit but I am so thankful that He used our church as His vessel in the process.

Oh and I would like to update y'all on my mom. It has been three weeks since her surgery and she is doing very well. The gash in her foot from the surgery has shrunk two inches. This is no doubt the Lord's doings. The doctors think she should be up on her feet in a few weeks! I cannot wait until the Lord completely heals her foot so she can use it normally again. What a gracious, faithful, and powerful God we serve!

Greetings from Florida!

So I lied; I find a little time to post during vacation. The weather here is pretty toasty but the late afternoon showers bring some relief. Yesterday, we spent the entire day at Disney's Hollwood Studios park. It was so much fun! I saw a 3-D muppet show, road the Aerosmith roller coaster, watched the Beauty and the Beast (my favorite Disney movie ever!) and The Little Mermaid plays, saw a few characters (though none of the "big names"), took in a stunt show, and enjoyed an incredible and beautiful light show. It was a full but delightful day. I feel so blessed to be here.

Well, we are about to head out to Disney's Magic Kingdom. I am so excited!

"Sunshine on My Shoulders Makes Me Happy"

Tomorrow I leave for the Sunshine state. I am very excited! Disneyland, Universal Studios, the beach...sigh. This will be my first visit to Florida. After I return on Saturday, I am heading to the Show-Me-State to visit family, my church family, and pick up my sister who will be staying with me for a week or so. To top it off, next weekend in my church's See You at the Pool picnic/baptism celebration! I am so thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to attend.

Prayer Request: remember how my cousin got married last December (2nd marriage)? He is now getting a divorce. He called me last night for advice and stuff. Please pray for me that when he calls again, the Lord will give me words to speak that will guide and comfort my cousin and cause him to see that the satisfaction he longs for can only be found in Christ.

Well, I just wanted to make a quick post since I probably won't be able to blog until after I return from these two trips.

Oh, one more thing: I have red hair.

Interesting...

Last night, when I needed a break from Greek, I turned on the TV to flip through the channels. When I came to ABC, I stopped. They were talking about Jesus. I was like, "what in the world?" And they were talking about Him in an appropriate way. The show was called Wife Swap (dumb, I know but I had to see what was going on) and both families claimed to be Christ-followers. One family was a very conservative Christian family and the other was a very liberal one. It was very interesting (and a little sad when it came to the beliefs/practices of the liberal family). I don't know if the episodes are available to watch online, but I would recommend it--just that episode :)--if are they.

Thanks to all who prayed for my mom. She is doing well and is scheduled to be released from the hospital tomorrow. Please continue to lift her up in prayer while she recovers. I know God's hand is upon her and He will restore her foot as good as new. :)

Worth noting: tomorrow is my last day of Greek!

The Foot Saga is Coming to an End!

As many of you know, my mom had surgery on her foot three years ago and the healing process has been a complete nightmare. She has been in and out of the hospital, contracted staff and strep infection, and even had the infection spread to the bone. In all of this, however, the Lord has been gracious and has kept the worst from happening to her foot. I know the end of this mess is near. The doctors believe they have found the source of what has kept her foot from completely healing: a pin. She had pins put in the bones near the top of her foot 13 years ago. Most have been taken out over time, but one remains and the doctors traced the draining in her foot to it. She is scheduled to have surgery on her foot (again!) early Monday morning to remove the pins and clean out any infection. Our family trusts in the Lord that this is the answer to our prayers. It has been a long road to recovery but I think that the Lord has shown Himself not only faithful, but even more glorious. He alone is the great Healer. Doctors cannot be trusted but He can. They may have the degree, but they don't always know the why and how, but He does. What a wonderful Savior!

Please lift up my mom in prayer. Thank you!

1/2 Way There!!!

This week starts week 4 of Greek. This means that I am half way done! I have to admit that it kicked my tail last week as we dove full force into verbs, but I am enjoying it. At first, I wasn't looking forward to the class, but it has been such a blessing. I love tranlsating God's Word...watching it slowly--for me, very slowly :)--unfold into familiar Scripture passages as I parse words and arrange them to suit the English language. God's Word is so beautiful and Greek has reminded me how blessed we are to read the very Words of God, to know His Will, and to see His Heart. What other religion has the Word of God? None! For only we Christians know the one, true God, and that is only because of the Lord Jesus Christ. What a Treasure we have in Him!

"Your Words were found, and I ate them, and Your Words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by Your Name, O LORD, God of hosts." -Jeremiah 15:16

Father, thank you so much for Your Word and for this opportunity to see it in its original form. Open my eyes to see wonderful things in Your Law. May Your Truth become in me a wellspring of life that overflows to those around me and lifts of Your Name. Transform me, Lord, by Your Word and make me more like Jesus. In Who's Name I pray, Amen.

Urgent Prayer Request

Please lift up my roommate Sarah and her family to the Lord in prayer. Her dad was found dead in her parents' home last night. Her mom is flying in today from a business trip and Sarah left early this morning to drive to Alabama.

Also, pray that Sarah will find favor with our Greek teacher regarding finishing up the rest of the course as she will probably miss at least the next two weeks.

"My Troubled Heart Makes Me Weak"

I am all moved in now and pretty much settled. Thanks for all your prayers. The Lord provided beautiful weather on moving day and everything arrived to our new place in tact.

The last fews weeks have been pretty rough for me spiritually. Have you ever went through a time where you felt like everything you said, did, and thought was wrong? I have felt so far from Christ lately and I hate it. Yesterday, however, He began to bring to light the areas of my life that has lost Him as the center. I am so thankful for this, and have renewed hope. Spiritual dryness is the worst feeling ever.

During church yesterday, the Lord showed me that I have been relying too much on what my checkbook says rather than just trusting Him. I have been freed from the checkbook and can now whole-heartedly follow His example in giving: generously and sacrificially. I am trusting Him to provide all my needs, especially when it comes to paying for school. His grace is sufficient.

If you don't mind praying for me, I have a few requests:
1. My roommate and I started Greek last week. Please pray for us as we balance the heavy workload with our other responsibilities and also pray that our focus will stay on Christ throughout it all.
2. Please pray that the Lord will open up a door of opportunity to share the Gospel at my jobs AND pray that He will give me the boldness (and words) to walk through it. I am surrounded by lost people every day and all I can think is "I hold information to eternal life" yet I do not know how to get that info outside myself.
3. I have been presented with two different opportunties to serve the Lord--one with Rolling Fields and one with SBTS. The one at church is to co-teach children's Sunday school. The one at SBTS is to lead the Intercultural Student Fellowship. Both are wonderful opportunities, but, you know me, I am prone to say yes to anything like this and overload myself. Please pray that the Lord will guide me in whether or not to accept these. I want only His will.

Despite my felt distance from the Lord, He has been reaffirming His call to serve Him internationally with an inner peace and renewed sense of purpose that I cannot explain. My God is so gracious to quiet the doubts of my wayward flesh. I still do not know how or when or where, but I know He will reveal that to me in His time.

Switching gears: my blow dryer died this morning. I just got it last November when the other one konked out. I found the warranty info and it is still under warranty. Now the question remains: would it be cheaper to pay for shipping for a replacement or buy a new one? Until I act upon this question, I will continue to mooch off of Sarah. :)

Also, I got a new CD. It was free from BMG. The band is called Telecast, and, so far, I am enjoying them. The Lord is using their songs to minister to me. Gotta love CDs like that. :)

Here is another song the Lord has used to minister to me lately. I think it describes the way I have been feeling. It is called "Eagles" from Third Day's Wherever You Are CD:

My pain and problems keep me chained
And my troubled heart makes me weak
I'll wait for You to comfort me
And in You I know I'll find my strength

Chorus: I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly high above this world
And I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly, I will learn to fly high above this world

I tremble with this heavy weight
And I'm buried underneath my grief
I'll run to You and not grow faint
And I'll lay my burdens at Your feet (Chorus Repeated)

Jesus, Could You Show Me Just How Far the East is from the West?

I learned today that Third Day is coming out with a new album this summer. Yay! God has used their music so much to bless my life. Chris Daughtry is going to be adding his rockin' voice to one of their songs. I also learned that one of their band members left. :( Even though I don't know them personally and know their music will still be good, it makes me sad when bands split (even though they aren't really splitting). Kind of the same way that divorces make me sad. I am funny like that. I think it is because loyalty is very important to me.

I learned about a new radio station in the Kentuckiana area that plays Christian rock (104.3 fm). Today, they were playing the top 20 countdown and I heard Casting Crowns' song East to West (based on Psalm 103:12) which spoke to me greatly. I have heard the song before, but because of the rut I have been in spiritually, God used it to minister to me in a powerful way. Please pray for me in this area. I really don't know how to put it into words, but I just feel so far from Christ and it pains me greatly.

Furthermore, the Lord convicted me during today's sermon. The message was over 2 Corinthians 6: "Showing Reverence for an Awesome God." One of the points explained that one of the ways we show reverence for God is opening our hearts to one another. Ouch! I struggle in this area immensely. I have trouble opening up to people and keep most everyone I know at arm's length. I know that this is one big hindrance to sharing my faith. Only the power of Christ can give me strength and boldness to be vulnerable before others. Please pray that He would do just that.

I began a new book recently. A friend lent (is that the right word?!) me Piper's God's Passion for His Glory which includes a full work by Johnathan Edwards. I look forward to what God will teach me through it. My goal is to finish it before Greek starts June 3rd.

I have a crazy busy week ahead. Please pray for me as I work, move, invest in relationships, seek God, dog sit, and the like.

Fast fact: My friend and former roomie Melissa informed me that NASCAR driver Tony Stewart's pet monkey Mojo now lives in the Louisville Zoo. Isn't that just hilarous? :) I may need to go visit him...

Speaking of NASCAR, my favorite race of the season is on right now...BUT I think I better focus my mind on more eternal things right now...

A Few Days in MO

I just recently returned from a quick trip home. It was so great to see my family and church family. The Lord reminded me of how blessed I am to have them all in my life. I miss them already. While I was there I visited MH's multi-site campus in Arcadia Valley for the first time. The campus was beautiful and it was so awesome to see all the new faces (and some familiar ones!). The Lord is doing a mighty work there. Keep the MH church leaders in your prayers!

I was also able to hand wash my car which I really enjoy doing. My car is white again! My dad vacuumed it out for me and replaced the mats. He spoiled me greatly while I was home as he also changed my oil, recharged my air conditioner, and shined my Docs. :)

My time at home was not all roses, though. My dad accused me of "never being home" when I come to visit which greatly frustrates me. Does he know the opportunties to visit other people I turn down because I know that he wants me at home? Besides visiting my grandparents, the only place I go to without him is church. The rest of the time I spend at the house. Grrr...what frustrates me most is that it is okay for him to run his errands and the like. I am really not sure what to do about the situation. There are other relationships that I would like to invest in while I am in town but I feel guilty if I go out with friends or anything because I know he will be upset. I am usually invited to go out with my friends from church while I am there, but have been declining. I want to go, but I am torn. Sigh.

Oh! Good news: the mileage has been down on my car. (Well, that isn't the good news, but keep reading). I used to get like 32 mpg on the hwy and 30 mpg (city) mixed driving. It has been down, however, like 4+ mpg for the past few months. I tried to do a few things to help my mileage but to no avail; finally, I replaced the fuel filter and, ta-da!, I am back up to 30 mpg. :)

My trip, by the way, was wonderful. I enjoy my long drives with the Lord. I listened to several sermons as the Lord led me which He used to greatly ministered to my soul.

David Cook just won American Idol. Yay for guys with raspy rock voices. :)

From Martha to Mary

I am so thankful to the Lord to be back safely in my apartment. There were a few times that the rain-drenched road almost got the best of me.

The trip was a blessed one, however. The Lord graciously stirred my heart for Him as I listened to praise music. I am ashamed to admit that I have been very apathetic towards Him lately (which can be seen in my blogs, speech, and attitude). All my fault of course since the Lord is faithful and constant in His relationship to me. Even though I have all this free time to focus on Him, I have chosen to fill it with other less fruitful, less worthy things. How can I choose these things over the beautiful, all-satisfying Lord that gave His life so that I might know Him? I have no acceptable answer. I have not been spending adequate time in the Word or reading books that stir my affections for Him. These are the primary ways that I worship the Lord and, today, the Lord showed me that I need to return to these habits in order to restore our fellowship. Because of my distractedness, I was reminded of the Lord Jesus' words to Martha in Luke 10:41-42: "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

My small group is doing through John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. Recently, we discussed how to make much of Christ with our jobs and how to make others glad in Him in the process. I have been reflecting a lot about this lately. We talked about working in a way that shows Christ to be our supreme Treasure as opposed to status, money, etc. This got me thinking: I have three jobs, what does this reveal about where my treasure is? Does it show that I treasure Christ or money or something else? Am I working three jobs because this is God's way of providing for me or because I am trusting in myself to make ends meet? And if this is how God has determined to provide for me and use me, how can I make Him shine as the supreme Treasure of my life? These are questions that need anwers because I do not want to do anything to dim the light of Christ in my life.

A Few Thoughts and Observations

*Have you noticed that the latest trend in food are digestive friendly products? From dairy products to cereal to nuts, all of them claim to promote digestive health. It may just be me, but if food companies would use pure ingredients to begin with, we wouldn't need all the digestive help.
*During our apartment search, my roomate and I discovered a rule for subsidized housing: two full-time singles cannot share an apartment unless they are married. Sounds like discrimination against single people if you ask me.
*I have never been a fan of politics and do not keep up with them as I probably should, but I do have to say that I am disappointed with the candidates that are running for president. I mean, is this the best the US can produce? If only money weren't such a factor...
*LOST is extremely animistic. I hadn't noticed until learning about animism in my Intercultural Communication class. It's still a great show, though. :)
*I am developing a deep bitterness toward gas companies because of their greed and oppression of those in the lower class of the economy. I am having to repent of this attitude a lot lately.
*God's love for me. It is something that I know is true but still have trouble believing for myself as an individual. The last time I was home my pastor was encouraging me and reminding me of God's love and I found myself doubting it. I am thinking about focusing on this attribute of God this summer.
*My NASCAR driver lost his sponsor for next year. Rumor it has it, though, that he may switch to a different team. One could only hope. It would be nice for him to have a chance at winning again.
*Does anybody else think that David Archuleta completely destroyed Love Me Tender the other night?!
*I just finished my last final this morning!

A Few Items of Praise

You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told (Psalm 40:5).

The Lord has poured out His blessings upon me these past few weeks. How my heart fills with awe of His goodness and grace.

1. Remember how I turned in an insurance claim last November for hail damage on my car? :)

2. My roommate and I found a new apartment (well, townhouse actually). We are so thankful that the Lord quickly (a week and a half) provided us with a new place to live so as not to add to the stress of the end of the semester. Also, it is closer to our jobs and school which is another blessing. We move at the end of this month.

3. This past week I was awarded two scholarships. This is such a blessing from the Lord as I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for classes next year. Oh me of little faith...He always provides!

4. I was offered a third job and I prayerfully accepted.

5. I finished the biggest paper I have ever written, and now all I have left is two in-class finals! :)

On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate (Psalm 145:5).

Check this out...

This is the project that Carol and I did for Systematic Theology II (click to enlarge). Do you recognize this beautiful face??? :) Our goal was to define what it means to be a woman biblically.

Dr. Allison asked to keep the project and we said yes...so she is probably hanging in his office or something. Hehe.

Touching Base...

So it has been like forever since I have blogged. Two reasons for this:
1. very busy with end of semester deadlines
2. Internet has been down (still only sporadically working so I better make this quick...)

This is what I've been up to since my last post:
-Spring Break (a.k.a. the appropriately named "Reading Days")
-Ate for the first time at Taco Bueno
-Went to the $1 theater

-considered getting my hair cut

-drove a Camry and a Cobalt while my car was supposed to be getting painted: will post more later
-finished almost all of my required reading for the semester
-had to replace modem, ethernet cable, and laptop power cord all in a matter of a week
-finished (with my good friend Carol) the big project for Systematic II: will post more about this later
-building stress as each day passes in which I have not started the research paper that is looming over my head
-basked in the absolutely gorgeous weather the Lord has so graciously lavished upon us
-turned in (with my roommate) an intent to vacate the apartment
-looked for new apartments (this is a prayer request)...the quest continues
-hated gas prices
-tutored students
-sold B&BW products

-met some new people

-spent some much needed quality time with the Lord

I think that about covers it. Things are busy but are going very well. The Lord is teaching me so much (see below) inside and outside of the classroom. I miss MO a lot...especially my sis and MH. Not sure when I will get to head that way again...

Lessons from the Lord: His sufficiency, trust, dependency, the cross, dying daily, sin, singleness, what it means to be a women of God, holiness, and purity

O Praise the ONE Who Paid My Debt!!!

Today is the 7th anniversary since I gave my life to Christ. For some reason this seems like a milestone occassion and I have been reflecting on God's work of salvation in my life for the last several months. The fact that this day has fallen so close to Easter this year has made it all the sweeter. It has been a blessed and challenging journey so far, and God has taught me a lot about Himself and myself in the process. This is my story:

I grew up in a Christian home, but not a church-going home. My parents taught me about God and encouraged me to pray to Him and read my Bible. I know that the Lord used this upbringing as the foundation of my salvation. I can remember having an awareness of God's existence, but I saw Him more like a bigger Person who I went to when I needed something. I had no concept of a relationship with Him. In fact, I considered myself a Christian for the longest time because my parents were Christians. I focused on being a "good girl” and excelling at whatever I did, but something was missing. I lived with this kind of underlying unsettlement. I desired so much to make a difference with my life but didn’t know how.

When I was in the 7th grade, my good friend Melissa Toppins (now Sebastian) invited me to the Wednesday night youth service at Meadow Heights Church. I, being the people-pleaser I am, reluctantly agreed. The evening was filled with games, food, and a message from God’s word. The youth pastor there at the time was also my seventh grade English teacher Bryan Mills and I found that his teaching style and messages really impacted me. I returned almost every Wednesday. I refused, however, to attend the Sunday services. I had no desire to (evidence to the fact that human nature does not naturally desire God). It was during these Wednesday night services that God began to tug at my heart. Throughout the invitation at the end of the message, I felt a pull towards the altar, but because of my shy nature, I stayed planted in my seat. This struggle took place almost every Wednesday evening.
When Bryan became the lead pastor at Meadow Heights, I started attending the Sunday morning services. God's tugs at my heart were becoming harder to ignore. I considered myself a "good person" and did not see my need for Christ, but I perceived that accepting Christ was something I should do. I finally yielded to the Holy Spirit's beckoning during my junior year of high school (thank God for His patience!). After I got in from work one Saturday evening, I told my dad that I wanted to accept Jesus. We went into the living room and prayed together and on March 25, 2001, a little after midnight, I gave my life to Christ. I was baptized and became a member of Meadow Heights a year later.
Since that time, the Lord has taught me so much about who He is, who I am, and how to live in obedience to Him. Meadow Heights has played a major role in my walk with Christ by teaching me to surrender my all to Him, how to have a daily quiet time, and the importance of the local church in the life of a believer (this was a long, hard lesson for me since I was raised believing that church was not important). I am so thankful to God for this amazing and faithful church family and miss them tremendously.
It was until after I went to Missouri Baptist University that I realized my actual need for Jesus as my Savior. God used the course Discipleship and Evangelism taught by Mr. Braden at MBU to show me the weight of my personal sin and the ugliness of my inwardly rebellious nature. We read the book Changed into His Image by Jim Berg and through it I learned that I was not "good" like I thought I was. I was utterly sinful and deserving of God's full judgment. The Good News, though, is that Christ became my sin and took my judgment for me. That is why He came to die. That is why I needed Him.
My journey now continues as I seek to know and love Christ deeper. God has used His Word, my church, my experiences at MBU and Southern Seminary, and the writings/sermons/lives of John Piper, Louie Giglio, and Jim Elliott to mold me into who I am today. I vividly remember asking God to give me a passion to "sell out" for Him during one of the youth services at Meadow Heights, and I believe He is progressively answering that prayer as He conforms my desires and will to His. Jesus has given me a purpose for living and He has filled my life with peace. The more I learn about my Savior the more I love Him and want to serve Him. Time will tell what all He has in store.

"Oh, happy day, happy day! You washed my sin away. Oh, happy day, happy day! I'll never be the same. Forever I am changed...Oh what a glorious day, that You have saved me. "

Worth noting: We had 32 baptisms at Meadow Heights last weekend! Most were at the AV campus and almost half of them were from All-Stars (5th grade and under). That gives us like 77 since last August! How amazing is the God we serve!?!

Prayer Request Update

I just got off the phone with my mom. They are letting her go home today! They found a Home Health nurse to take care of her and give her the antibiotics by IV. Praise Jesus! Please continue to pray for her recovery. I can't wait for the day when she can use her foot normally again!

Thanks for the prayers!

Prayer Request

As many of you are aware my mom has severe rheumatoid arthritis. A couple of years ago she had a nodule removed from the bottom of her right foot. The recovery from that operation has been a nightmare. It has been infected with Staff and Strep numerous times and any time the foot appears to be making progress, she has a set back. She has seen a vast array of doctors and wound specialists who have determined her a "difficult case." The most recent set back came last week. Her foot started hurting her and she started running a temperature and having chills. When she was taken to the doctor, they did an MRI on her foot (which in my opinion should have been done a long time ago since they knew they were having problems healing the inside of her foot) and discovered that the infection had spread to her bone. She is now in the hospital where they are giving her strong, concentrated antiobiotics through an IV. She has to be on these antibiotics every day for six weeks. Unfortunately, the wound center is in Bonne Terre which is 30 miles or so from our house. Since she will not be able to make this trip everyday, the doctor is looking in to sending a Home Health nurse to our house. If he can't get a nurse to go to our house, my mom will have to be admitted into a nursing home for six weeks until she has finished the prescribed round of antibiotics. Please pray for my mom. This has been a discouring and difficult few years for her. Pray that she will cling to Christ, that she will not have to stay in the hospital long or go to a nursing home, and that God would bring healing to her foot as He alone is wise enough and powerful enough to do so.

Thanks.

Snow & Seminary & Psalms

Life has been rather busy lately but good. I am so thankful for the enriched times I have been having with the Lord and for the many blessings He has lavished upon me.

Last weekend we got 7.5 inches of snow. My roommate, Melissa, and I took advantage of this time off from work (as she got to leave work early and B&BW called and told me not to come in and my babysitting opportunity cancelled). We watched Lost (parts of seasons 2 & 3) for two days straight (sickening I know...but what can I say? We are addicted). We also played in the snow--we made snow angels, built a miniature snowman, I let her bury me in the snow...

Finances are still tight, but the Lord is providing. With this tutoring job where students (aka work) are not guaranteed, I am definitely learning to trust Him more. I am applying for a few scholarships. Please pray that He will provide a way for me to pay for school. I know this is where He wants me...He brought me here and I know He will carry me through.

Speaking of school, I am praying about the degree I am pursuing. I could do a Master of Arts which would allow me to graduate as early as next year or I could continue towards a Master of Divinity (2 more years). The former would be easier (20+ hours less and no Greek or Hebrew), but right now I feel led towards the latter. As crazy as this sounds, I don't think I am ready to be done with seminary in a year. Yet I am at the Lord's disposal, so please pray for direction concerning this as well.

I have been reflecting lately on the wonderful things the Lord has been teaching me in and outside of seminary about Himself as well as my ownself. His Truths are beautiful and pure and right. They are my comfort and delight and I long for them to penetrate every aspect of who I am. When I think of all that I am learning, however, I become a little afraid. The Apostle Paul teaches that "knowledge puffs up" (1 Corinthians 8:1). This has been an underlying fear of mine since I enrolled at SBTS. I know how subtle pride can be and I know how much the Lord hates it. It is my daily prayer that He will keep me in awe of Him as He teaches me such marvelous things.

This month I started reading through the Psalms. My friend Carol told me that you can begin with the Psalm that corresponds with the date and then add 30 to get to the next Psalm and continue to do that until you are at the end of the book (i.e. today is the 11th, so I first read the 11th Psalm, then read Psalms 41, 71, 101, and 131). You will read 5 Psalms total and if you do this every days of the month on days 1-30 you will read every Psalm. For the 31st day of the month, she suggested reading Psalm 119. I am very excited about becoming more familiar with the Psalms and so far reading through them has been such a blessing. It is amazing how each day's Psalms relate to one another or have the same theme. I pray that as I do this, the Psalms will become imbedded in my heart.

Lessons/themes from the Lord this week: living with urgency, marriage, the Treasure of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, the importance and worth of the cross.

Quick Notes

(These are in no particular order.)

*I greatly enjoyed the two days of gloriously warm weather and miss them already.

*The Lord has blessed me with a much larger income tax return than expected. I am praying as to how to use it wisely and in a way that is pleasing to Him. He is so gracious!

*I discovered a wonderful verse today in the book of Psalms: "When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul." (94:19)

*I never thought I would see the day, but NASCAR has come to Southern Seminary in the form of a life-size Carl Edwards cut-out poster advertising Vitamin Water. The thought of it just makes me laugh. If only they knew he is being accused of cheating to win last weekend's race...

*I have been reading about Biblical womanhood and it has been encouraging, inspiring, and refreshing. What wisdom God has in the way He created mankind male and female!

*I tasted African tea for the first time.

*I also tried ribs for the first time (STL BBQ style!) at Famous Dave's.

*Three of some of my favorite people got engaged last month. What's more, none of their wedding dates overlap. Can we say summer of weddings? 4 and counting...

*LOST is back and I love the direction the writer's are going with the show. I am still just as confused and unsure about the storyline as I was when I first started watching it, but that is why I love it. :)

Ramblings About My Churches and the Weekend

Last weekend I went home to MO. It was a lovely drive home as the trees were crystalized with ice and so was the ground. St. Louis had just received a blanket of snow the night before I came through. Fredericktown received a pop-up snow shower while I was there as well which cancelled church Sunday morning. Thankfully, I went to church Saturday night since I was planning on leaving Sunday morning (so that I could make it back in time for small group; we just started Piper's Don't Waste Your Life study and God is already using it powerfully in my life). I once again had a dream last week about church that came true. I dreamt that Mac brought forth the message and he did. Interesting...
God is doing some amazing things at Meadow Heights. Since the year started, 28 people have been baptized. That is 28 people that have come from death to life! What's more is that many of these people are coming to the Lord in families. Donald McGavran would be proud...

God is up to some great things at Rolling Fields as well. We recently adopted a people group in Central Asia. It exciting that God has called us and entrusted us with the task of strategizing to reach these unreached people. We are in a series right now about the glory of God. Please pray that this series would ignite a undying passion in the hearts of RF's members.
I am officially plugged in to serve at RF now. The Lord has actually thrown me into a leadership-type role as I am the leader of the Connection Team. This is a fairly new team and I look forward to just running away with it. This is the team that welcomes new guests at the church by giving them a call and delivering cookies. God used this team to lead one lady to attend the membership class! :)

While I was at home I beat the final level on Tomb Raider: Anniversay. I am still the queen. Yesss! :)

Also while I was at home, I noticed that my parents got our cat shaved. Hehe. You should see her, she looks ridiculous. The reason she was shaved was because she is so fat (16 pounds to be exact) that she cannot reach her backside to clean herself so her fur gets matted. The vet shaved her body but left her head, tail, and paws alone so now her furry head lookes huge compared to her naked body. Poor baby. I am pretty sure she was sitting back plotting all of our demises last weekend...

Switching gears: The Lord has really been ministering to me lately by refocusing my attention and affection on Christ. He has reminded of the infinite beauty and worth of Christ and how He is all I need. He is my Treasure and I long so much for my life to reflect that to those around me. "Who have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26).

I mentioned above that my small group is doing a study over Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. I just wanted to share how he made-or rather God through his book-the first few verses of 1 Corinthians come alive to me. These verses state that if you help people or even sacrifice your life for others but do not do it in love, then it is for nothing. I never completely "got" these verses. I always wondered why would you do these things if you weren't doing them out of a spirit of love? Piper helped clarify this for me when he wrote these words "not to aim to show God's love is not to love, because God is what we need most deeply." Wow. When I read those words, the meaning of those verses just sort of clicked. I have been meditating on them over the past several days. This is how/why we can help others but really be doing them a disservice if we refrain from sharing the Gospel, the Good News, of Christ. I can feed the hungry, comfort the morning, or do any number of things to relieve human suffering, but if I don't do it in the love of Christ and point explicitly to Christ, then I am not really showing them true love. Jesus is who they need and if I don't tell them about Him, then their hungry souls will starve and they will remain in darkness. The two must go hand in hand. Good works are good and necessary but they must be done as unto Christ, pointing to and proclaiming about Him the whole way through. "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16

True Love

• 1 John 3:1- See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
• 1 John 4:16- So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
• 1 John 4:10- In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
• John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
• John 3:16- For God so loved he world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
• 1 John 4:9- In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
• Ephesians 4:2-7- But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
• Romans 8:35, 37-39- Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Meditate...Savor...Rest in this Amazing Love.

SNOW!!!

Winter has once again reared its ugly head but this time it brought with it an unexpected snow day from school. What a delight! My roommate and I took full advantage of it by hitting a nearby slope with our newly purchashed sledding devices. Since I am sick it may not have been the wisest thing I have ever done but it sure was fun! (Though I am paying for it now...)

After our sledding escapade we found ourselves at IHOP for the National Pancake Day Celebration where we indulged in some delicious, made-to-perfection pancakes.

Since then, however, I have been laying in my bed trying to recuperate from my outdoor adventure. I have downing C-Boost, which has 1200% Vitamin C in every serving, like water in at attempt to build my immune system. I trust in the Lord that I will recover soon though...and I do not regret my time outside enjoying the beautiful snow. :)