Not Just for Me

Last weekend I went on a beautiful road trip down to Georgia. The drive was a visual delight as most of the trees had turned shades of yellow and orange and red. Autumn is such a lovely time of the year.
One of the things I like to do on long drives is listen to sermons. My sweet sister prepared a couple of CDs for me of John Piper’s preaching on Romans 8:28.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28   

This verse has become very dear to me and continues to be so as I continue this journey with Jesus Christ. Sometimes this verse is what sustains me on painful days and dark nights. There was a point earlier this year when I began doubting this verse. In my limited wisdom and perspective, I could not see God working for my good in the midst of the situations and trials I found myself in. I couldn’t see Him at work and couldn’t imagine how He could bring beauty from the ashes that surrounded me. But God is gracious and faithful and patient even when His children waver in trusting in Him or His promises. He gently showed me that I had a choice: I could believe and claim this promise by faith or I could continue to doubt Him and forsake the only one in whom hope and life are found. Because God’s grace and mercy is limitless and because He sustains His children and nothing can separate us from Him, He gave me endurance and strength to believe this promise by faith, even if it was just a mustard seed of faith.

So I began believing this verse again and resting in the character of God through which the Lord grew my trust in His sovereignty and goodness and through which He comforted me through the sorrow and pain. But what Piper brought to my attention is that this verse gives not only comfort for the past, it is also provides hope for the future. Look at the context of this verse. The Apostle Paul is talking about persecution and suffering and sorrow and impending death, and, yet, he says that no one can be against us. How can this be? The truth is there are many things against us and there are many things that can harm us, but, ultimately, we are eternally united with Christ and our victory is secure. We can stand firm because He is our unshakable foundation. The worst thing that can happen to us is death, but even that ushers us into the presence of God where we will behold the face of Jesus Christ. So this verse gives hope for the future because we can confidently do what God calls us to do, no matter what the risk or danger may be, precisely because God is currently working in all things for our good and is working in whatever may happen for our good. And that’s a pretty awesome promise.

The Lord is also showing me, though, that the things in my life – whether struggles or joys – are not always for me. Now they will, of course, affect me because they are happening in my life, but sometimes God allows things into my life so that He can work in the lives of others. So even though He will still use the circumstance for my good, He may be working ultimately in and through the situation I am going through to ultimately affect someone else’s life for their good. My pastor stated this truth much better in this blog post, which I encourage you to read.

There are many examples of this in Scripture. I want to point out just a few of them. I will list them, not chronologically, but from the amount of the evidence of how these individuals could see God working through their circumstance. In other words, how clearly they saw that God was allowing hard things in their lives in order to save the lives of others.

First there is Joseph (Genesis 37-50). His is one of my all-time favorite stories in the Bible. I love the way that the Lord worked through His life and I love the way that Joseph never seemed to falter in his faith in God. Joseph was 17 and the favorite son of his father. He had 10 half-brothers who hated him for his favored status. They sinfully plotted to kill him, but wound up changing their minds and selling him into slavery instead. He became the servant to Pharaoh’s captain of the guard in Egypt. The Lord prospered him in his work and he found great favor with his master – that is, until his master’s wife falsely accused him of trying to rape her. This accusation sent him to prison. Again, the Lord prospered him in his work and he found great favor with the prison guard. He had a glimmer of hope of getting out when he correctly interpreted a dream one of the Pharaoh’s servants had, but he was soon forgotten. Finally, the Pharaoh himself had a dream and he was called upon to interpret it. When he did so, Pharaoh made him the number two ruler in the land. God had brought him from slavery to be the second most powerful man in Egypt. When his was reunited with his father and brothers, he did not use his power to enact vengeance. He did not hold what they did to him against them. Instead, he recognized that God had worked through those tragic circumstances to save others. Here is what Joseph said to his brothers:

And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Genesis 45:5-8

Another example is Esther (the Book of Esther). She was a young, beautiful Jewish girl. In fact, she was the most beautiful woman in the Persian Empire. The king had just got rid of his wife for disobeying him and was looking to replace her, so he held a sort-of beauty contest and chose Esther to be his new queen. As Piper points out, this isn’t a good thing. She was a Jewish woman who loved God and had a promising future, but now she has just become part of a pagan king’s harem. It is not like she was at home daydreaming about marrying the king. He was no prince charming. But the Lord was working through her situation to save many lives. She had been brought to the palace, to this point in history for “such a time as this” (Esther 4:14) and God used her to intercede for the Jewish people when one of the king’s men wanted to annihilate them.

Finally, there is Leah (Genesis 29-30 - Thank you, Melissa, for drawing her story to my attention!). Her story is harder because it is much more bleak and she never really sees the good that comes from her life, but God does use her. She was one of the wives of Jacob and desperately wanted his love, except he loved his other wife (her sister) Rachel more. When God blessed her with conceiving several sons, almost every time she would say, “Now my husband will love me,” but he didn’t. Even though she bore Jacob six sons, she did not draw his affection away from Rachel. And so was the story of her life. She never lived to see the good that God was working from her situation. In fact, the good that came from her life wasn’t realized until thousands of years later. You see she was the mother of Judah and through his line came the promised Messiah, Jesus Christ, the Son of God. So although she did not receive the favor she longed for from her husband, she did find favor with God. He saw her affliction; He saw how she was overlooked by her husband; and He chose to use one of her sons as the family line for His Son. He did this so that many people would be save.

David Platt put it like this: “What if God ordained suffering and persecution in our lives for the salvation of others?” And that is what we see in these examples. Joseph experienced much hardship. He was separated from his family of origin, betrayed, enslaved, falsely accused, imprisoned, and forgotten, and God ordained and used all of these things to position him as the second most powerful man in Egypt in order that his family, the people of Israel, might be saved. Esther was made the wife of a pagan king who was not Kosher or God-fearing so that God would use her to save the people of Israel. And Leah was trapped in a loveless marriage, deceitfully arranged by her father, which was ordained and used by God to bring about the family line from the people of Israel through which He would send His Son and save the world. God’s purposes are so much bigger than us and He chooses to include us in His kingdom story of redeeming the nations. Joseph, Esther, Leah – all used to save a people…and save the world because from this people the Messiah would come.

And all of this points ultimately to Jesus Christ, God’s very own son. He is called the man of sorrows. He was misunderstood. He was rejected by many. He was called demon-possessed and a drunkard. He was falsely accused and arrested. He was beaten beyond recognition and nailed to a a cross. He was spit upon and mocked. He was slaughtered. And this was all ordained and used by God so that many people would be saved. Because He did not stay dead. He rose from the grave three days later in power and glory. God ordained suffering and persecution and death in the life of His Son for the salvation of sinful people like you and me. This is extremely good news for us. The suffering of Christ was not for Him, it was for us. And sometimes our suffering is not for us as well.

Let Me be a Biblical Woman

My sister and I just registered for our first women’s conference, which is not something I ever thought I’d say. I used to avoid women’s conferences (and most other women ministry activities) like the plague, because I thought they equaled theological fluff and materialism and manicures and other things that turn my stomach. But the Lord has been teaching me (and my sister – for her story click here) what true women’s ministry is and revealing our erroneous and prideful prejudices. So this is the story of my journey so far.

First, let me say, that the majority of the influences in my life have been male (especially when it comes to spiritual influences) – my dad, pastors, professors, authors, etc. To me this was the norm, so this makes me predisposed, I guess, to preferring male leadership. I wasn’t really even aware of the idea of women’s ministry until I came to seminary (more on that in a moment). At my home church, we all learned together. There was neither male nor female, single nor married, poor nor rich, but all studied the Word together without distinction. ;)   

Furthermore, I grew up in a home where gender roles were only separated by home responsibilities. Men do the work outside (mow the lawn, fix the car) and women do the work inside the home (clean the house, cook dinner). So from home, my sister and I learned that we were supposed to try to look pretty, learn how to cook and keep house. My dad didn’t really like for those lines to be blurred, but he didn’t have any boys, so I helped him at times with construction and mechanical work. And so he passed his interests in cars and fixing things onto his daughters (although I don’t think he meant to).

So that’s some of my background…and then I came to seminary. I remember being struck by many of the ladies I saw on campus: perfect hair and make-up, dresses and skirts, and heels. I remember thinking, “I don’t fit in here” (though, ironically, because of my job, I am now one those girls – ha!). I started learning about women’s ministry and women’s programs and a whole host of other things that were foreign to me and, at that time, I didn't understand why they were necessary. And a lot of what I saw on the surface seemed just that – surface level. I went to a women’s event/meeting that helped solidify my presuppositions, so I decided to stay within my area of study and let those ladies have their fun.

But, while I was in South Asia, I met an amazing woman who became my mentor for the six months I was there. Now this is not to say I hadn’t met some great women beforehand (like at my church) because I had, but this was the first time I had actually been discipled by a strong, godly woman. Then I began to notice that there were many like-minded women who are passionate about the gospel and not about other…things.

When I returned to Louisville, my small group had split from co-ed to all men/all women and so I joined the ladies of my group to study David Platt’s Radical. And, once again, I was reminded that there are women who are hungry for the Word, who want to grow in their knowledge of Christ, and who want to live their lives for Him. So there seemed to be this dichotomy between some of the women I met at the seminary and the women I served and served with in ministry.

The dichotomy was heightened when I went to a seminary women’s get-together. It was one of my attempts to break out of the anti-social lull I had been in since I had returned from South Asia. Plus, free Starbucks was involved. :) There was probably about 20 women who showed up along with the host (female) professor. The professor was giving us some advice and this is what she said, “Ladies, when you go to class, don’t go in a hoodie, without makeup, etc. Get up and fix your hair and put on your make-up and dress nicely because these men in your class could one day be your future employers.” I was like, "Really?" I can think of a few Scriptures to counteract that, and it’s not like that is something women need to be told – we have a natural concern for our visible appearance.

Now some of my attitude towards women’s ministry, I realize, is pride, and some is misunderstanding, but the Lord has graciously shown me that real women’s ministry is not about the powder or the pearls, but about leading women to be who He created them to be. God did create mankind to be both male and female (Genesis 1:27), and each reflect His glory a little differently. Leading women means helping them to see and celebrate and magnify those differences so that Christ is magnified through our womanhood. That’s a pretty amazing thing. The Lord has given me some beautiful and rich and deep godly woman friends and prayer partners, and I am so thankful for them. He is allowing me to serve women through Scarlet Hope and through leading the women in my small group (which is again composed of both men and women). These women are hungry for the gospel and are striving to make much of Christ in every area of their lives. And, as for this conference, I am actually excited about it - I have so much to learn! :)

Regaining Perspective

The Lord has been ever so gracious to refresh, revive and renew my spirit these past few weeks. The enemy had done a very good job of completely sidelining me and I had lost my eternal perspective and focus (which the Lord graciously revealed to me).

It’s amazing what a few weeks of focused time with the Lord can do! My heart was wandering far from the Lord in the midst of my busy schedule and spiritual oppression and the heavy burdens of life. I felt like I was dying on the inside, slowing slipping away, but as I continued to call out to the Lord, He answered me in His own time and way.

The Lord led me to a Piper book called When the Darkness Does Not Lift, and through it revealed to me what was going on in and around me. Through the awareness of my sinfulness, and the suffering of my loved ones, and spiritual warfare, I had gotten lost in the dark. I could not see God; I was failing to trust Him; and I had forgotten what I had learned while in the light. I was focusing on the things that are seen instead of the things that are unseen (2 Cor. 4:16-18) and I had stopped fighting for joy. Instead of trusting and resting in the sovereignty of Christ, I was living in reaction mode. It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t good and it most definitely wasn’t Christ-honoring. I had lost sight of my great Treasure, who is Jesus Christ.

As I read through the Psalms and identified with the words of David and the other psalmists who cry to God for help, I wondered why God wasn’t answering me. God says He saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18), but where was He? The Lord gently reminded me that David had to wait to be answered too, like in Psalm 40:

   I waited patiently for the LORD;        he inclined to me and heard my cry.
    He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
        out of the miry bog,
    and set my feet upon a rock,
        making my steps secure.
    He put a new song in my mouth,
        a song of praise to our God.
    Many will see and fear,
        and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3

I often read the Psalms and think that God responded immediately, but if I would compare them with the rest of Scripture, I would see that God usually waits to respond. He does this for our good and for His glory. He does this to grow our trust and faith in Him. He does this because His ways and timing are always perfect. He does this because He knows what’s best.

The Lord has been lovingly reminding me lately that He is working for my good and has good things in store for me (Romans 8:28), and that I need to believe that in faith, even when things don’t make sense and when circumstances would seem to prove otherwise. David Platt says, “What if in your suffering and in your sorrow, Christ is working for your satisfaction?” And, you know, what? Jesus is my satisfaction, and the Lord is working through everything that I am going through so that I will know Him more deeply and intimately. He is going to reveal Himself to me in ways I could never have imagined (Ephesians 3:20). The thought of this brings me incredible joy.

But, first, I must wait. The continual word from the Lord this past year and a half or so has been, “Wait.” He is preparing me for whatever is in store, but God is not just working in my life in a way that will effect me. God is working in and through my life to work in the lives of others as well. He holds every detain in the palm of His hand. Nothing is lost to Him. I find this incredibly encouraging and comforting. I am currently in another delay in the process to get overseas. I will be in the States for at least another year, but I know that ultimately this is God’s delay. He wants to keep me in Louisville for another year, and I have no doubt He will reveal that reason in due time. So, even though the waiting is frustrating, it is also exciting, because, for the first time in awhile, I believe that God has good things in store. :)

Light & Dark

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of the darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:3-7

Last Thursday, David Platt spoke in Chapel about our temptation to twist the worship of God into something that is comfortable and pretty, and to dilute the gospel of God so that it is less demanding and more palatable for the world. The truth is, though, that the worship of God is not comfortable for our sinful selves nor is it pretty – it cost God the bloody death of His Son. Nor is the gospel of God something that can be taken lightly; God accepts nothing less than our total allegiance and devotion.

As Platt talked about the spiritual battle us believers are in, he took us to 2 Corinthians 4. In this passage, the spiritual battlefield is vividly laid out. On one side, you have Satan, called the god of this world, blinding people all of the world so that they cannot see the glory and truth of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:4). He will do whatever it takes to keep them in the dark. He will use idols and other religions. He will use materialism and physical needs. He will even use truth so long as it keeps people from worshiping the one, true and living God. On the other side, you have God the Father, who shines His glory through the light of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6). He knows our spiritual state. He knows we are in darkness. So He sent His Son. The Apostle John says, “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world” (John 1:9). This light is Christ (John 8:12). Right smack in the middle of this battle (between verses 4 and 6), which Platt so clearly pointed out (and which I never noticed before), is us. Second Corinthians 4:5 says our job is to proclaim Christ. God has called us to the front lines of the battle for this. And notice in verse 7: this treasure (the good news that the light of Jesus Christ has come) is in jars of clay. We are broken and fragile soldiers in this battle. We used to be on the other side in darkness, but because God saved us (shone light in our hearts), we are now on the side of light. And God did this so that His power might be demonstrated in us.

As I was listening to this message and later reading this passage, I couldn’t help but think of the people God has called me to minister to. With Scarlet Hope, I go into the darkest places in the city. Every time the outreach team goes out, we are engaging in spiritual battle. We, as broken as we are, are carrying the life-transforming light of Christ into the darkness of enemy territory. So I began to pray this passage for the ladies I meet, and it gave me a new sense of urgency for them. I, of course, cannot make them come to or choose the light, but I can share the hope of that light with them. Only God can open up their eyes, which have been blinded by Satan, to see the beauty and glory of Christ. He is doing that through this ministry and He will continue to do it. And He is not doing it because we are anything. We are just jars of clay. But He does it because He desires these women to know Him and He desires to rescue them and transform them and use them for His glory. God has many daughters in this city trapped in the darkness of the sex industry. They have yet to hear His voice and respond to His light. Pray with us that His daughters will wake up all over this city.

But when anything is exposed by the light, it become visible, for anything that becomes visible is light, therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:13-14