Small World

So today at B&BW I met a lady named Anita from Missouri. I am not even sure how the conversation got started, but she happened to mention that she was from MO and I, of course, told her I was from the grand ol' Show Me State myself. When I told her I was from Fredericktown, she immediately embraced me and told me that she and her husband just bought a plot a land there. Whoa. Very few people here are from Missouri, much less know where Fredericktown is. She went on to inquire if I lived in or out of town. When I told her out of town, she responded and I quote, "Oh, you are a country girl? I am looking for a country girl for my son." Ah, geez. Did she really say that? Anyway, she wanted to know the whereabouts of where I lived. I told her I lived off of E Hwy which, it turns out, is where her plot of land is located. Anita is originally from Clarksville, IN (next to Jeffersonville) but now lives in Bismark, MO with her husband. She is in town visiting her sister. Their father just passed away. Remember them in prayer. We chatted some more and I made mention of my home church, hoping she would inquire. She took the bait and asked where I attended. I told her and gave her directions. Hopefully, she will drop in. :) She departed to do some shopping, but met up with me again before she left in which she took my picture and gave me another hug. You never know what the Lord is going to throw at you on a daily basis. He sure makes life interesting.

All I Have to Give to Him is Adoration

The meaning of Christmas and the reality of who Christ is has been weighing heavily upon my mind and heart lately. This I am very thankful for because it has made this Christmas season the most meaningful ever. The Lord has reminded me through both my home and local churches of the significance of Christmas. I think it is so awesome the way that the Lord has orchestrated both churches to preach on the same topic. The messages have been very enriching to me. Just think about the story: Jesus Christ came to the very world He created to rescue a fallen, sinful human race to the praise of His glory. Think of His humility: He, the King of Kings, took on flesh and was born in obscurity in a stable; as an infant He had to be fed, protected, and cared for by the very people He Himself created; and as He grew He was submissive to His earthly mother and father. I have tried to think of scenarios in which I could make an earthly analogy of His humility but none would suffice. Praise God for His inifinite wisdom and glorious grace!

"For the glory of it all He came here.
For the rescue of us all that we may live.
For the glory of it all. For the glory of it all...
We will never be the same."

Sonrise

I am home now. I arrived safely yesterday just in time to pick up Kristi and go to church. :) God more than graciously answered my prayer for a safe trip that was free of sleepiness and gave me alertness that carried me through the day. I am convinced I was running on His fuel. I left before dawn so I was able to watch the day come in. I absolutely love watching the world wake up as the light slowly chases the darkness away. The power of light is amazing and got me to thinking about God. He is Light and in Him is no darkness (1 John 1:5). In fact, there is no place where the light of Christ cannot penetrate and overcome.

"He wraps Himself in Light
and darkness tries to hide
and trembles at His voice.
How great is our God."

No Puedo Dormir

For some reason I cannot sleep. I crawled into bed several hours ago excited that I was going to be well-rested for tomorrow. Maybe I was a little too excited because here I am at almost 2AM still awake. :) I have tried to be productive while I was waiting for exhaustian to set in. I finished reading Glocalization (thoughts on that in a later post) and have been in prayer over some prayer requests I received today.

On the agenda tomorrow:
1. spend the morning with the Lord
2. clean the apartment
3. pack
4. meet with Ms. Kannapell
5. check tire pressures and "top off" (NASCAR terminology, hehe) fuel tank
6. work (7pm to midnight)

I leave for Fredericktown Sunday morning. If the Lord wills, I plan on leaving in time to get in town for the 11:15 service at MH. Caffeine will be required. :) So if you for some reason you are awake at 4:30 CST/5:30 EST, say a little prayer for me as I hit the road.

:)

5 days 'til Christmas. 3 days 'til Missouri. 1 day 'til the weekend. Much to be thankful about. :)

This week God has been answering my prayers. My primary petition was that He would give me wisdom and guidance with reference to the various employment opportunities He has set before me. By His leading, I accepted the tutoring position and turned down the job at Southern. I had actually considered doing both, but the Lord reminded me why I am in Kentuckiana--to learn more about Him and His Word at the seminary. I am also taking over a job for my roommate in which I will be assisting an elderly lady several hours a month with various projects/errands. Remember when I didn't have a job? Now I have three. Praise the Lord for His grace and provision! When I cried out to Him, He heard me, and answered me. Though there were many times that I was tunnel visioned in my circumstances and felt hopeless, He remained faithful. I have been reflecting lately on His sovereign care. Last semester I worked a total of 5 weeks. 5 weeks! And every bill was paid and every need was met (though at times I wondered if they would be). This is the God I serve! I am so thankful that the Lord Almighty is concerned with the details of life. Even when we don't see Him, He is sovereignly orchestrating events to His glory and our good.

Lessons from God this week: humility, refocusing, inner beauty, and dependence.

A Reason to Celebrate

These past few weeks have been filled with ups and downs. The downs were mostly related to financial stress and the ups have been due to quality time spent with the wonderful friends God has placed in my life. I have to admit that there have been times when I thought I would smother in my circumstances, but I know that God is at work behind the scenes, even though I cannot see Him. I am once again on the job search (for a second job that is). The tutoring job at Educational Resources did not work out. In short, she decided I didn't have enough experience and didn't want to give me any students...though she knew my background when she hired me. From this disappointment I realized that I was placing my hope and trust in this job rather than in Christ my Savior. I am now looking into tutoring with another organization and into a job on campus that Southern contacted me about. I have been trying to focus on Proverbs 3:5-6 as I pray for direction from the Lord. I seem to get in my own way during times like these...always trying to figure things out rather than relying on the Lord. He promises to light my path, though, and in His promises and timing I must trust.

Today, for some reason, I miss home. I will be there soon, though, if the Lord wills, for Christmas. I won't be staying as long as I would have liked, but it will be great to see my family and, hopefully, my church family. I leave one week from today. :)

I cannot believe there are less than 10 days until Christmas. Bath & Body Works is getting busier and busier. The amount of people--as well as the amount of $ they spend--blow my mind. I have met a lot of interesting people since I started working there. The reaction of the guys that come in are especially interesting. Most of them have the deer-in-the-headlight-look as they wander into the store, a few are just as involved in the shopping experience as their wives/girlfriends, and the rest make it a point to let me know that they are there with/because of their significant other. As I see every one husseling around to finish their Christmas shopping, I can see how the meaning of this special holiday gets lost in all the commercialism and pressure to find the "perfect" gift. Although, I don't get caught up in all the shopping, I have found that I do not reflect on the significance of Christmas as I should. Shame. My friend Carol reminded me of the power behind this holiday season. This was the day that not only love and grace but final judgment came upon the world. Salvation was brought to us as God took on flesh to reconcile the world to Himself. Those who accept Him would have eternal life and those who reject Him would be eternally condemned. Wow. I am afraid that sometimes we forget that the baby in the manger is the God who created the universe and Savior of the world. Thankfully, He did not stay a baby. He grew to be a man who led a perfect, sinless life and died on the cross for the sin of every man to appease the justice and wrath of God and demonstrate His great love for us. This is the reason to celebrate.
Merry Christmas.

Not Forsaken, Not Forgotten

Today marked my 5th working day at Bath & Body Works. I am really enjoying it there and am so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to work there. Today I got to do something new. I had been processing shipments. They had received like 700 boxes over the past several days. Unreal. I thought I was going to be super sore after the first day of lifting, twisting, and moving boxes, but I was only a little. I guess bodily exercise does profit a little (1 Timothy 4:8). Hehe ;). This morning, though, I was assigned to the sales floor to promote our merchandise/sales and run the cashier. It was fun. I liked greeting the new customers and such (which could be why I was a greeter at MH for several years). I even got a customer to buy--Dana, don't laugh--a Lambie Blanket.

Speaking of blankets, my roommate and I made no-sew fleece blankets last Friday night. She bought the material and roped me in to helping her. :) It was fun! Her's is a bright retro-looking floral pattern on one side and a matching green on the other. Mine is checkered flag on one side and NASCAR printed on the other (of course!). They have been put to good use since it always seems to be so cold in our apartment. We plan to make our other roommate one too (by the way, we finally have a 3rd roommate!).

So I have survived my first semester of seminary. I almost don't know what to do with myself now. There are some things I would like to accomplish, though, before school restarts in late January:
1. Read books recommend by MAC
2. Familarize myself with my new camera (Sony Cybershot DSC-W80) which my sister so lavished upon me for my birthday a few weeks ago
3. Bake cookies with my roommates for our neighbors
4. Make a gingerbread house with my roommates
5. Go home the week of Christmas
6. Visit the MH-AV campus one of the first weekends it launches
7. Work...a lot

I started on #1 last Sunday. The first book is called Transformation and I am a third of the way through it. It is very good and I agree with the writer so far on his views of the American church, healthy church growth, evangelism, and discipleship. What is really awesome is that the night before I began to read it, the Lord led me to read Matthew 5 and 6 (the Beattitudes) with special attention to the verses about being salt and light to the world; then, one of the first chapters in the book mentioned and expounded on these verses. I love when God does that!

Yesterday, I got an email from Educational Resources saying that training has been scheduled...it's today at 6:30. Plus, I found out that I get my first B&BW paycheck at the end of this week!

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act." -Psalm 37:5

Is it Almost Over?!

I feel as though life is caving in on me. The financial pressure is almost more than I can bear. I am trying my best to stand firm on God's promises of provision, but my knees are incredibly shakey. Today I received yet another unexpected expense: a bill from my periodontist in St. Louis. It looks at though the insurance refuses to pay all of my procedure from last summer which has left me with the balance of $176. God has tested me in the area of finances before but nothing like this. I feel as though I have been stretched to the breaking point. Yet I know this is for His glory and my good. Even though I feel pinned in, I know He will provide as He always does for He is my perfect heavenly Father. This time it looks like provision is coming in the form of my sister. She has offered to sending me a check to help me until I receive my first one from B&BW and refuses to let me pay her back (despite my objections). Looks like God is serving me up a good dose of humility. Besides teaching me to trust fully in Him, I believe the Lord is breaking me of the pride of self-sufficiency. He is making me depend on other people...and I absolutely hate it.

I still have not heard word about the tutoring job that I was hired a month ago for. I have to admit I am a little frustrated. I sent the lady an email, but haven't had a reply. Furthermore, my friend who was hired a few weeks ago said she received an email saying training was this coming Wednesday. I know the lady doesn't know my financial bind, but I just wish everything was a little more organized. I hope in the Lord Jesus Christ to hear from her very soon.

A Cry for Help

I am currently working on my last paper of the semester. It is over the doctrine of the Trinity. I am really struggling with it right now. Please, please pray for me. I have been reading this evening about the things my dad believes and the scriptural basis for it as well as trying to formulate thoughts to explain the Trinity...and I just don't know. I feel such turmoil inside. Please pray.

God's Loving Care

Thanksgiving break is now officially over and I am back in Kentuckiana. I had such a pleasant time at home and I owe God all the praise for that. It was filled with food, football, family, and the occasional nap. :) It was indeed a blessed trip and I loved seeing everyone again-especially my sister-and the opportunity to attend my home church (twice!). God is so good to me.

I want to note two items of praise in particular that deal with God's providential and loving care:

1. Bath and Body Works (whom I interviewed with before I left) called me last Wednesday and offered me a seasonal position. This is such an answer to prayer. To God be the glory! :)
2. My sister and I had a little incident when I was taking her back to Saint Louis last night. It was drizzling rain (as it had been all day) so the roads were saturated. We were headed to Brentwood so that she could get some food for her dorm from Whole Foods. As I slowed down and turned onto the exit ramp, the rear of my car broke loose and we started to spin. I told her to hold on as the car whipped to the right. It all happened very fast and before I knew it I spun onto the embankment which slowed down and eventually stopped my car (facing us in the opposite direction on the ramp). I quickly turned my car around and continued down the ramp. It was scarry but God was with us through it all. There were no cars around us and the hill stopped the car from skidding any further. There was no damage to the car; although it did have mud all over it. I know that our safety was the result of the many people praying for our safe return. This was also a very humbling experience as God reminded me that I am not in control when I drive...He is.

I discovered something about my parents beliefs last weekend that has greatly disturbed me. I mean in all my 24 years, I have never even heard them mention this before. I plan on reading the book that talks about this belief and others that they hold to get a better understanding of it. I worry sometimes about their theology and I want so much for them to know the complete Truth.

Lessons from God this week: humility, obedience, trust, and the importance of praise/thanksgiving.

I need to study...

Catching Up...

So I am in the beautiful state of Missouri now. God is so good to me. He has allowed me to come home for an entire week! I arrived in the Show Me State last Thursday night where I stayed the night with a friend in the STL. It was nice to see all my Saint Louis friends again. I went to Mobap on Friday where I got to see my former coworkers and my sissy. The top three questions that were asked:
1. How is school?
2. Do you have any guy interests/prospects?
3. How long are you in for?
Kristi and I headed to Fredericktown Friday evening and we spend that night and Saturday hanging out with my parents. Sunday was absolutely wonderful. I was able to worship at MH and go to the annual Celebration service that night where we toured the new Arcadia Valley campus (awesome!), ate yummy dessert, and were led in worship by a Southern Gospel group. I am so thankful that God allowed me to be a part of that experience. We dedicated the facility and future to Him. The night involved much prayer. One of the coolest things was we were allowed to write scripture, prayers, and/or the names of the people from AV that we knew who were unsaved on the floor of the sanctuary. We did this at the Fredericktown campus when we had new carpet put in and I think it is just an absolutely amazing and powerful concept. God is going to do such great things at this new campus for the glory of His Name and I am so exicited for what is in store.

On Monday I took my mom to the foot doctor. I am not sure if I mentioned this before or not but she had surgery almost three years ago to have a nodule removed from her foot (caused by her arthritis) and it still hasn't healed. The whole situation has been a complete nightmare. This past summer her foot seemed like it was making significant progress towards healing, but it has recently taken a turn for the worst. It is so frustrating. I think the doctors are just experimenting on her. They even admit they don't know what the problem is, but when her foot starts healing, they change her medicine or the like to try something new. Maybe this is just me, but my logic says that if what they are doing is working, they should continue doing it. I just feel so bad for her. My mom has suffered more than anybody that I know. We have been praying for healing for her foot for such a long time. I know I have no right to question God, but I wonder why He doesn't just heal her. I know that He is sovereign, though, and good, and I trust that He has this situation all under control. He is not short on power and His arm is not too short to save so I must rest in that.

Studying for finals is proving a lot harder than I thought. I haven't even touched my schoolwork and have no desire too. I just want to play... so I have. :) Besides just hanging out with my parents (Kristi is back in St. Louis), I have been playing Tomb Raider on Playstation 2, coloring, and helping my mom with whatever she needs. I also haven't been spending time with Jesus as I should which has got to change. If anything, I need to spend MORE time with Him when I am home.

Oh, my car drama continued last week. Thursday morning when I was fixing to leave for school, my car wouldn't start. Obviously it wasn't the battery since I just got a new one the day before. So to make a long story short: four hours and $34 later, my car was doing fine. I had a corroded battery cable. I missed all my morning classes and chapel which is sad, but at least I was able to head to MO that day as planned. In addition to all the recent and unexpected expenses, God laid on my heart to give to the IMAGINE campaign at MH last Sunday. I had already determined in my heart to do so once I started receiving a paycheck, but God prompted me not to wait. I am really excited to be a part of it and trust that the Lord will provide my needs as He promises in His Word. He is really stretching my trust in Him right now in the area of finances. I hope the lesson is almost over...

Needless Drama

So today my car battery died in the mall parking lot. I was there looking for a seasonal part-time job. Sarah was with me. We flagged down a car to help us...it was two women...but they were still willing to help. I got my jumper cables out (thanks Dad!) and a young man joined us to help out. We hooked up the cars, I turned the key, and...nothing. I called my uncle in Fredericktown, MO who works at a parts store. He told me to let it sit for a while to charge the battery from the other car. We did. Finally, after about 10 minutes or so, she started (barely). I drove my limping car to Wal-Mart where I demanded (not really; I just wanted to sound dramatic) a replacement battery. Thankfully, it was still under warranty so I didn't have to pay anything. Actually, they paid me $9. Still not sure how that happened but am thankful nonetheless. As I think about the situation, I am thankful for God's wise, sovereign protection. This happened on a day where neither Sarah nor I had any obligations, several people stopped to try to help, the mall was close to Wal-Mart, I got a new battery under warranty, and came out $9 richer. Its amazing how He works.

My dad has been getting on me about getting a job until the tutoring one starts. I wish he'd leave me alone. Is this a bad attitude to have? I believe so, but it is how I feel. I think it is that natural tendency towards rebellion that us fallen humans are so inclined to have.

God has provided for me yet again. The church that my grandma attends has decided to send me money to help me out. Other people deserve it more than I yet I know that this is from the hand of God. I love seeing how He graciously provides for me and how He also moves my heart to glory in my Savior in the process.

Tomorrow I am heading back to Missouri!!!

This week's lessons from God: endurance in the faith, trust, the complexity of the Trinity, and worldview.

I'm Free!

After three days in the belly of the whale--er, on the futon in the living room--Sarah and I have finally finished our project. Although it was very time consuming, we had fun creating it and are pretty excited about our results. The project is for Systematic Theology and is a DVD tract attempting to move an atheist to the acknowledgement of the possibility of God's existence. I also finished my paper where I was supposed to design an outreach program for the local church. This paper was a lot of fun because I was allowed to let my imagination run wild. I pulled from the strategic plan of my home church as well as the church I am attending now.

This means that I only have one more paper (which is my final for Systematic), a little more reading, and finals. Call me crazy, but I am almost a little sad the semester is ending (did I just say that?!). I have really enjoyed my classes and believe that I have learned a lot. All good things must come to an end I guess.

In my small group we are doing a study through the book of Philippians. As we have slowly progressed through the book, breaking it down verse by verse, I have discovered so many things I have never noticed before. For instance, in chapter two, verse 19, Paul says that he "hopes in the Lord Jesus" to send Timothy to the Philippians. I love the way he is so specific. We use the term hope so loosely these days. I know for me that I often say that I hope to do this or that, but never stopped to consider what I was hoping in. I should be intentionally hoping in the Lord Jesus for He alone is my hope.

Speaking of hoping, I have been hoping for the majority of the semester that I could go home the entire week for Thanksgiving...and my birthday. As of now, it looks like I will be able to. Lord willing, I plan on leaving this Thursday after classes. Hurray! I am a little suprised at how excited I am. I haven't really been homesick this whole semester, but now that I know I get to go home, I long for it immensely. I miss everyone so much!

Okay, this is going to sound really dumb, but I have discovered a new function on my laptop. I have had it for over five years and I just now figured out how to use the keys with purple writing on them--the FN (function) key! This key allows me to adjust my volume and even dim my screen (which I didn't know I could do). Its like having a whole new computer! ;)

Time for Heroes!

The Sovereignty of My God

I love when God works out things in His wisdom and providence...especially when I at first perceive them to be an inconvenience. An example of that happened today (well, technically yesterday). Earlier this fall, I received minor hail damage on my Beretta. On Wednesday afternoon an insurance adjuster was scheduled to come out and view the damage. He was unable to, however, because of an extended appointment so he had to reschedule for Friday morning. How does this situation point to God? Well, on Wednesday the skies were clear and the sun was shining brightly. This morning, on the other hand, the sky was overcast. Because of this, the hail damage on my car was much more visible since there was no glare from the sun. The insurance agent assessed the damage, took photos, and is going to email me a quote. More to come once this happens...

Also, I have a job! I will be working with Educational Resources in the No Child Left Behind program. I am pretty excited about this because most of the students I will be tutoring are international students who need help with English. It is my prayer that God will use this job to grow and stretch me beyond my comfort zone as well as allow me to invest into the lives of these students. This job has what I consider perfect hours (in the afternoon) which allows me to attend classes in the morning and school and church activities in the evening. Plus, I have been told that I can work as many hours as I want during school breaks. :) God is so gracious to me! Unfortantely, I don't start work until December 1st (although this means I get to go home the whole week of Thanksgiving break which was a desire of mine) so I am praying on what to do between now and then. Right now I am looking at temporary holiday jobs. God will provide.

Who Knew?

Did you know that this month is No Shave November? This was the topic of discussion before my Old Testament class started today. I am not sure if this is a seminary thing, a Southern thing, or a guy thing in general. It cracks me up though.

Earlier this week a headlight went out on my car. Another unexpected expense. I replaced it myself though (with some coaching from my dad) and I am quite proud of myself for doing so (is that okay?). I also had to replace my windshield wiper blades and add more windshield wiper fluid to the reservoir. I feel like quite the mechanic. Hehe.

Today we started discussing the doctrine of the Trinity in Systematic Theology. I have been looking forward to this since the beginning of the semester. I pray that God gives me a deeper understanding of this doctrine. Because of conflicting views taught to me by my family, I struggle with this truth. I not only want to be able to understand it better but I want to be able to explain/teach it.

I still have not started the tutoring job. I know that God is using this time to stretch and grow my faith. Pray that I will perservere. I know that He will provide my every need according to His riches in Christ Jesus, but my imagination runs wild sometime. Pray that I will trust Him completely.

This week's lessons from God: the importance of ecclesiology while serving overseas; the necessity and importance of forgiveness; and trust.

"Country Road Take Me Home"

The trees are absolutely beautiful! Yesterday, Sarah invited me to go with her and her kids from church to pick pumpkins. We went to Huber's Orchard and Winery in Starlight, IN. The ride there was incredible. We drove on a curvy, hilly, two-lane blacktop road deep into rural Indiana which was bordered with bright yellow, orange, and red trees. We were at a fairly high altitude and the view was breath-taking. It reminded me so much of home and made me miss it a lot. I had almost forgotten how much I loved the country. Thanksgiving (the next time I will be heading back to MO) seems so far off right now.

Anway, we had a good time. Although we didn't pick pumpkins (they got rid of them after Halloween), Huber's had a variety of activities to do. We fed barnyard animals, ventured through a robe maze and bamboo maze, jumped on a big inflated jumpy thing, swung (I love to swing!), and slid down a long, steep slide. I also got to take lots of pictures for Sarah which was nice. I haven't done anyting related to photography in a while so it was so great to put my camera to good use.

Side Note: I am thankful my roommate remembered the time change....I sure didn't!

"If Thou but Suffer God to Guide Thee"

If thou but suffer God to guide thee,
And hope in him through all they ways,
He'll give thee strength, whate'er betide thee,
And bear thee through the evil days;
Who trusts in God's unchanging love
Builds on the rock that naught can move.

What can these anxious cares avail thee,
These never-ceasing moans and sighs?
What can it help, if thou bewail thee
O'er each dark moment as it flies?
Our cross and trials do but press
The heavier for our bitterness.

Only be still, and wait his leisure
In cheerful hope, with heart content
To take whate'er thy Father's pleasure
And all-deserving love hath sent;
Nor doubt our inmost wants are known
To him who chose us for his own.

All are alike before the highest;
'Tis easy to our God, we know,
To raise thee up though low thou liest,
To make the rich man poor and low;
True wonders still by him are wrought
Who setteth up and brings to naught.

Sing, pray, and keep his ways unswerving,
So do thine own part faithfully,
And trust his Word, though undeserving,
Thou yet shalt find it true for thee;
God never yet forsook at need
The soul that trusted him indeed.

-Georg Neumark, 1641

Trunk or Treat

Yesterday for Halloween I helped my roommate Sarah with Trunk or Treat and Fall Festival at her church. I have never seen, heard of, or experienced Trunk or Treat before but it was fun and a good way for the church to get involved in the community. I helped her set up by stapling balloons to a board for the pop-the-balloon-with-a-dart game and drew and cut off leaves for the pin-the-leaf-on-the-pumpkin game. I am pretty sure I am a pro now at leaf drawing. :) I also blew up a few balloons...which I think pulled a few muscles in my jaws as evidenced by the throbbing pain afterwards. Our cars looked awesome, by the way, in their tropical attire. Oh, the kids were cute too (well, some were more on the scary side). ;)

Today God ministered to me in a powerful way in Systematic Theology as we discussed His faithfulness, love, goodness, grace, mercy, patience, and power. Truths that I needed to hear and that overwhelmed me. He is so derserving of more that I can give Him.

Sad news: my electric toothbrush died yesterday. Not a good week for me and electical things.

Reformation Day Eve

Yesterday was a long day...good, but long. I stayed on campus after classes to attend the bi-weekly prayer meeting. Besides going with Carol to the mall, I spent the entire time on campus. I took a blanket to the seminary lawn where I tried to sleep but couldn't (even though I was very tired) so I read 1 John instead. It was a nice time with the Lord amidst His beautiful creation. When the temperature dropped I went inside to the cafe (which I found to be one of the warmest placest on campus) to read some more. I also talked on the phone to a job prospect, my local church pastor about membership, and my beautiful sister. The prayer meeting was very edifying and much needed for me personally. A whole hour dedicated to talking to and thinking about God is a wonderful training tool for my mind to focus my thoughts on God rather than the distractions of life. My wandering mind could use some discipline and I am making a prayerful effort to whip it into shape.

Sad news: my blow dryer died yesterday morning.

I'm touched...

Today I received a package from my mom. In it was a stuffed toy pumpkin with candy, Halloween cookies, and mini-Snicker bars (mmm...my favorite!). There was also a Halloween card that stated that she missed me "a lot." I love my mom. She is so sweet. :)

Randomness

THINGS TO PONDER

Facebook: Before I began seminary I only got on Facebook occassionally, but now I get on it daily. It has become sort of my lifeline to friends back home and to friends at Southern. Mainly, though, I think I use it as a distraction from schoolwork. I usually get on my computer to do my homework which means that I am connected to the Internet which means that I should check my email and Facebook and delay the reason I got on the computer to begin with.

Blogging: I was thinking the other day that it is interesting that I blog. I am a very reserved person, so why do I share my thoughts with anybody who cares to read? Blogging, to an extent, allows me to express myself which I have so much trouble doing with others. I also tend to forget that people can and do read my blog.

NASCAR: I have only met one person who likes NASCAR. She works at St. Jude so I don't see her anymore. Where are the NASCAR fans??

Mostaccioli: I made this for my small group this evening. Most people I have talked to around here have never heard of it. I have been told it is a Missouri thing. Who knew? I thought it was an Italian thing. :) These people are missing out.

Chapel: Thursday's chapel last week was excellent. The speaker preached on going to undesirable places from 2 Timothy 4:9-18. Very good and very thought-provoking. He challenged us to pray to have the attitude and boldness of Paul. He also reminded us that Jesus is our ultimate example of going to the most undesirable place when He emptied Himself, took on flesh, and came to earth.

Hillcrest: Sarah and I went to Hillcrest Street yesterday to look at the Halloween decorated houses. These people go all out. It was crazy. I didn't know that people got into Halloween like that. I don't particularly care for Halloween myself. It's kinda morbid. Nonetheless, if you haven't seen it, I would recommend checking it out.

Shadow of the Almighty

I just finished a wonderful book about the life of Jim Elliot. This book was very edifying for me and, at times, personal. I could relate to many of Jim's desires and struggles. He wanted so much to know God and be consumed by Him and to live a life that reflected Christ. The book is composed entirely of his journal entries and the letters he wrote to his family and friends. It is an awesome look into the heart and mind of a very godly man. I long for a heart that is as consumed by God as his was...I want and pray for God to be my sole satisfaction.

I cannot, however, forget the work that God has already done in me. I am a living product of God's grace. This semester God has caused me to realize the love He has given me for the local church and healthy church growth. This is a wonder in itself since before I accepted Christ six years ago, I wanted nothing to do with church. Even after I became a Christian, God worked on me for several years to make me understand the importance and necessity of the local church. Now the mystery of the church tugs forcefully at my heart. This quote is taken from my lecture notes in Dr. Lawless's Evangelism and Church Growth class: "Legitimate church growth recognizes that the church, by its very nature, is not only an organization to grow—it is a divinely established mystery to behold. Our responsibility is to understand that the church is something beyond us. God somehow puts His divinely local bodies together to carry out His plan. We are divinely privileged to be a part of the church. Don’t ever get over the church. It is in our unity that the world knows that the Father sent the Son."

God has also developed in me an interest in Eastern Europe, particularly Russia and Romania. I am not sure what that means or how that will play out in the future, but I am at the Lord's disposal.

Side note: I have had four job interviews over the past week. They all went well. I am praying for direction...His will be done.

Divorce

I hate divorce. My cousin called me and told me he is getting remarried (I am actually talking to him right now). I thought he meant that he was getting back with his ex-wife. I was wrong (I guess that is what I get for failing to keep in touch). I am happy for him and everything, but I am so saddened by the brokeness of their family (he has a son).

Hope in God

Tonight is very stormy. We are under a tornado watch. At work, they had us cram into the inner hallway for about 30 minutes when we were under a tornado warning. I have heard that there has been a lot of damage. One guy from the seminary was on the news because a tree fell on his car (while driving I believe). He was giving glory to God for his safety. :)
Despite all this I am very thankful for this much needed rain.

Last Tuesday I went to a bi-weekly prayer meeting at school. We worshiped through singing to begin with then spent the rest of the time praying for believers serving around the world. It was wonderful. It was very powerful for me personally in focusing my attention to where it needed it to be. Afterwards, my soul was very troubled. I walked around campus for a while talking to God and then finally broke before Him as I was reminded of my utter wretchedness and the people He has placed in my life that are spiritually dead. Oh, how I want them to be born again! I get so frustrated with myself. I see the need and want so much to speak to them of Jesus but the words do not come and neither does the courage. Please pray that I may be bold for Christ!

I have been very frustrated with myself lately. I am having trouble focusing on God and slaying wayward thoughts. I want so much to dwell on Christ and His heart for the nations, but I find my mind occupied with other less worthy things.

The music of David Crowder Band (Kristi, you are going to be so pleased with this) has been ministering to me lately. The words of their songs have expressed the inner groanings of my soul like nothing else could.

This quote from Louie Giglio has played over and over again in my head today: "I have great hope in God tonight." I am not sure why this is stuck in my head. I do feel a great hope and trust in God right now-maybe more than any other time in my life. Or I am having Louie withdrawals from Passion '07. ;) My sister is going to Passion this weekend in Chicago by the way. Please pray that the Lord will protect her and draw her intimately closer to Him.

One last thing: God is doing a great work at my home church. Check out our Director of Creative Arts blog to learn more and to see the Imagine Campaign video (under the Oct. 11th post). Please pray, if you will, these things for Meadow Heights:
1. that the leaders and members would be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding (Col. 1:9) and would humbly seek His face in every decision
2. Christ would be magnified and lives saved
3. protection and strength to stand against the schemes/attacks of the devil as they advance the Kingdom.
Maybe someday God will allow me to rejoin the work at MH.

Hope thou in God oh my soul for He is supreme.

Gross

Jeff Gordon just won a NASCAR race for the second week in a row and he leads the points. I am not sure how much more I can take.

Ah, Fall.

I have really enjoyed these crisp mornings. The air is so clear and fresh. They do remind me, though, that winter is coming. Soon I won't be able to run/walk in the mornings which saddens me. :( I am not sure what I will do for fitness when that time comes, but I guess I will worry about that when the time comes.

Next week is G. C. week at the seminary which is exciting. I will miss most of the events because of work though. :( I have been contemplating a new job. Phone sales is not really my cup of tea, but most of all, I hate misses the events at school (which is the reason I am here). St. Jude does offer great benefits (namely tuition reimbursement), but they are not flexible. I must continue to pray about this to make sure I am following the Lord rather than my own selfish desires. "Not my will, but Your will Father."

I am aslo still struggling as to where God would have me go to church. I have been attending one for a few weeks but He hasn't confirmed (or unconfirmed) anything so far. I going to attend membership class there tomorrow. Hopefully, the Lord will be pleased to confirm if that is where He wants me or not. I think that the fact that I miss my home church so much is clouding my discernment.

Today, while I was working, I was pondering God's heart for the nations. It is such a beautiful thing. My primary focus was on His creation of the nations. What an awesome experience in heaven it will be when all peoples come together in unison to worship the Living God. I don't always reflect and yearn for that day as I should, but I am longing for it today. Jesus is infintely glorious and oh I want to experience Him in all His fulness.

Pobre Computadora!

This post is dedicated to my Dell Inspiron 2650 which I have had for six years. Over the past few years, cracks and chips have raised their ugly heads on the surface of its lid. A bottom corner broke off and then eventually the other bottom corner broke off. Last night something horrible happened...the lid almost came completely off! It is attached by one hinge now. I called the Geek Squad at Best Buy but they said they would need to send it off with a $140 deposit (Bad News). Ouch! I then got out my trusted Crazy Glue and electrical tape to see what I could do, but they failed me (more Bad News). I searched Dell's website for hardware and found the part that I thought I needed (Good News). I then chatted online with a Dell Rep and then on the phone to make sure that it was the right part. An hour and a half and $38 later (Bad News), I purchased the part with next day shipping. Hurray, my laptop is going to open and close properly again (Great News)!

So far Fall Break has been pretty productive. I have done one paper, finished a book, and done lots of reading. This last part of the week though I am dedicating to friends rather than books. :) Last night I visited one friend while he was working at Starbucks. Either tonight or tomorrow night I am going to get ice cream (YUM) with another friend. On Saturday I may be hanging out with yet another friend. Fun times.

I miss my roommate.

Valley of Darkness

Before I get into my main reason for writing, let me first share that Sarah and I ate at the restaurant in Bass Pro today. We split an appetizer sampler which included shrimp, crab cakes, and...(drum roll please)...alligator. The alligator was interesting. It didn't taste bad but it was very tough meat. I get annoyed with things I have to chew a long time so I will have to say that it was not my favorite. Great experience though, plus we got to explore the store. :)

Before that adventure, though, Sarah and I attended Pagan Day in downtown Louisville. We got there rather late because of our inability to find the place (the workings of the devil I presume). It was a small festival containing booths for different cultic beliefs. Early in the day they had workshops and dances and stuff like that. The further we walked into the festival, the more I could feel the darkness. I have never actually felt the difference between spiritual light and darkness like that before. I grabbed a few brochures to learn what these people believed. God gave me the opportunity to engage with one young man who was part of Babalon Rising. From what he told me this is what he believed: he believes in the book of the law (no, not the Old Testament); that when we die, we decompse and are absorbed into the earth and then grow into a tree or the like; he doesn't believe in God, heaven, or hell; he believes in discovering "the will" which is our purpose in life (which I was informed is a life-long process). Oh how my heart aches for him! He is not firmly rooted in this belief. Please join me in praying for Ken daily that he may see the light of Christ. Someone else in his booth asked me about my beliefs. I told them I was a Christian, that it is only through God that I know my purpose for living, and gave a brief presentation of the gospel. They each person's beliefs are true for that person (i.e. if you believe in heaven then there is a heaven). He is so deceived and the longer he pursues this belief system the further into darkness he will travel. Please pray that Christ will shine His light in Ken's heart so that he may know the truth and be set free (John 8:32).

Also, please pray for a couple named Darron and Sharon who we also met at Pagan Day. Sarah was able to talk with them briefly but they were in a hurry to leave since the festival was almost over. They seemed very rooted in their beliefs. Darron spent the majority of the conversation trying to convince us that pagans and Christians were not that much different, just what he called a few "minor" differences.

Fall is Just Around the Corner

This evening I saw a beautiful golden full moon. The kind that hovers low in the sky and sings of autumn. Last weekend I drove home to surprise my beautiful sister on her birthday. I noticed that some of the trees were starting to turn and that the fields were a blanket of yellow dandelions-so pretty! God is so beautiful!

A thunderstorm welcomed my day in this morning. It was pouring and lightening severely when I left for school this morning. The lightening was very close. I am pretty sure it struck something in the parking lot as I was headed to my car. All I could think was "I've gotta get rid of this umbrella." :) When I got to school and got out of my car, I realized I was standing in about a foot of water. Joy. My boots and socks remained soak for the rest of the day. My feet are still chilled but it feels good to be completely dry.

Sarah and I rode the bus system (TARC) yesterday to Friendship International. It was a neat experience. We decided that we are going to start riding it regularly when we go to Friendship so we can do "bus evangelism." While we were riding, it was interesting to watch the people sitting one person to a seat, facing straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with the most solemn expression on their faces. They would have a much more pleasant ride if they were to be friendly to one another. Sarah and I have decided we need to try to liven things up on there.

Saturday is Pagan Day in downtown Louisville. A few of us are getting together to pray walk and share Jesus if given the opportunity. Please pray. I will probably write more on this later.

Well I must get back to reading.

Oh, exciting news: I got two recruits at work! Praise God. I know it is only because of Him that these people agreed to help St. Jude.

The Weekend is Finally Here!

I am so glad that it is the weekend. This week has been pretty hectic. I started work at St. Jude on Monday. This was the first of five weeks of training. I am a little overwhelmed with all the info that has been thrown at me and intimidated at the thought of a quota and people monitoring my every move. Once we (there is a group of us in training) are moved to the "floor" to recruit, I will have a quota to meet. This quota will determine at the end of five weeks if I have a job or not, and then it will determine whether or not I keep my job. The challenge kind of excites me. Then again, I really don't care for talking on the phone and that is what I will be doing for 4+ hours a day. I trust that God will use this job as a growing experience. This as well as about everything else in my life right now will stretch me way beyond my comfort zone. This I know is a good thing. As far as the quota, I trust that if God wants me there I will meet the requirements and if not I won't, and He will provide me with another job.

I took my first tests this week. They were both on Thursday. I think they went well. God was definitely gracious to me. I am so glad they are over though. My brain feels so free. Between studying and my job, I thought my head was going to explode. It feels a lot emptier now though. :)

I went to Friendship International again last Wednesday. I led a Bible study composed of two South Koreans and One Columbian. I really enjoyed it. Plus, the English class that I help my roommate teach increased from 1 to 4 people. Hurray!

I put air in my tires this evening (I have a slow leak in a couple of them). I only state this so that I can express how much I love the feeling of freshly aired tires when I drive. The car handles so much better and hugs the curves more snugly. It is amazing what just a few pounds of air can do. (I know I'm strange.)

That's all for now. I need to go to bed.

The Semester's in Full Swing

I have two tests this week; both on Thursday...ug. I also just finished two papers. I can tell that I am getting deeper in the semester. :)

I start my job tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about that.

Last Friday I hung out with a couple of girls from the seminary. We ate at a Mediterranean restuarant (the manager told us it was Persian food). I had what was called Falfasa or something like that. It was interesting, but not in a bad way. I would eat it again. :)

This evening I went with my roommate to her church picnic. Good times and good food. We went on a walk afterwards at a nearby park to enjoy this incredibly beautiful weather. We also took the scenic route back to our apartment that followed the Ohio River. Very pretty route. I recommend it. Ridiculously huge houses and very pretty scenery.

The sermon I heard today was about learning wisdom corresponding to the two chapters I read in Packer's Knowing God on wisdom. I love when God ties things together like that.

Finished Discpled Warriors today by Dr. Lawless--loved it. I just realized that I was writing very fragmented sentences right now...not sure why...too much reading I would assume. :) Back to my studies...

Memory Verse for the week(s): 1 Corinthians 15:58

The Heavens Declare the Glory of God...

This weather is absolutely gorgeous! Last night my roommate Sarah and I sat in the grass behind our apartment and read. While we were out there we were able to meet a neighbor which was exciting. Hopefully God will allow us to building a relationship with her and her family. We also made friends with a stray cat. :)

Last Wednesay I went to Friendship International to help Sarah teach English. As has been the case lately, I was out of my comfort zone but I know it will be a good opportunity to meet people from other cultures and invest in their lives. I was surprised (and excited) at just how many nations were represented. I was told that Louisville itself is home to 96 people groups.

I have been reading a book about Jim Elliott for class. This book was written by his wife Elisabeth and is a compilation of journal entries and letters. It is so awesome to get inside his mind and see his heart. Even though my fervor for the Lord and boldness nowhere matches his, I can relate to his yearning to know the Lord more and be about His business. I pray God leads me to exhibit that kind of passion.

Oh, the Cards game was fun. They played horrible and lost 7-2 but I still had a good time with Sarah and Melissa. The city of Cincinnati is beautiful. One of the prettiest cities I have seen...right up there with St. Louis. ;) There were only 14,000 or so in attendance which surprised me. Coming from a "baseball town" I am used to seeing the stadium sold out almost every game. Of course, we have the Cardinals so I guess that explains why. Hehe.

Settling In

God is more gracious to me than I could ever deserve. Adjusting from being away from home has went very well. I think it is God's way of reassuring me that this is where I am supposed to be. This may sound silly but sometimes I feel guilty for not being homesick. I am very thankful than I am not though. I love the area I am living in (Jeffersonville, IN). Even though it is 7 times bigger than my hometown (Fredericktown, MO), it reminds me of it. Plus--I am about to say something I never thought I would say before--I love school. I am learning so much. My favorite thing so far, however, has been hanging out with those who have served in different areas of the world and are now staying on campus.

I have so much to be thankful for. I accepted a job at St. Jude's Children Research Hospital in New Albany, IN as a Volunteer Service Representative. I don't know how much I am going to enjoy soliciting businesses to do fundraisers, but I trust God will grow me through it and somehow use me to glorify Him. I have narrowed my church search down to two churches. I am pretty sure I know the one I am going to join but I am going to continue to pray for guidance and confirmation. I want to be where God wants me to be. I want to make sure I choose a church from unselfish and pure motives. The two churches I am looking are both growing churches and have plenty opportunities to serve. I want to be a blessing to wherever I go and be able to serve the community where I reside. I am very excited to be done with "church hunting."

Speaking of churches, I am reading a book called Discipled Warriors: Growing Healthy Churches that are Equipped for Spiritual Warfare for my Church Growth and Evangelism class. I really like this book and I am discovering that I have a heart for church growth. When I hear or read about stagnant, dead, or shallow churches, my heart just breaks. As I read about what a healthy church looks like and how it mirrors my home chuch, tears just streamed down my face. I am so thankful and humbled that God allowed me and my sister to be a part of Meadow Heights. I pray that He continues to use them for His glory and that He will raise up more healthy churches all over the world.

I have been making a real effort lately to meet new people. I have been going to different events on campus and seeking opportunities to share my faith. Those of you who know me well, know that this is so not like me. I am trying to come out of my shell a little and God has burdened my heart to spread His word (which is rather exciting). Last Friday night I met up with a seven guys and two girls from Southern/Boyce who I barely knew to go downtown to do street evangelism. We split up into groups of three and walked the streets looking for people we could talk to. I kept quiet most of the night observing and prayed for my group members who were sharing the Gospel. I have never experienced anything like this before. I pray God gives me boldness to be more vocal the next time I go.

Yesterday I went downtown with Sarah and Carol to India Day. We ate Indian food (I had Chicken something Mansala, yum), listen to Indian music, looked at their booths filled with jewelry, info, and the like, and got Hennas. My Henna is on my left hand and I love it.


There are a few traffic-related things that I have noticed that are different between the STL and Louisville. Namely Louisville has a Red arrow on the stoplights for the turn signal while St. Louis just as the Red circle. Also, the crosswalk signal in Louisville counts down to let you know when it is going to change to the don't cross signal which I thought was cool. It's the little things in life. :)

Don't be jealous but this Tuesday I am going to a Cardinals game at the Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati. I am so excited! I haven't been to a ballgame all year! Sarah, Melissa, and I are going to make our own shirts. It's sad I don't own any Cardinals apparel after living in St. Louis for 5 years, I know. What can I say, I am cheap. ;)

Oh, for those of you who don't know: my sister has a boyfriend. :)

One final thought: The danger for forest fires is high.