Overspent

I must admit that I have experienced some dark days of the soul this past month or more. The Lord continues to reveal to me my sin and it is so vile that at times I feel physically sick. To top that off I have felt far from the Lord. Not that He has changed or distanced Himself, but I have. It hurts to even say that. Without even realizing it, I have taken continual steps away from the Lord and now I don’t know how to get back. But the Lord is ever-so gracious and, even though I have wandered, He has not let me out of His sight. He knows how to bring me back. He always seeks after His children (Matthew 8:12). He sought us out at first when we were living in rebellion against Him (Isaiah 53:6), and He continues to pursue our hearts as we wander away and get entangled with the cares of this life. I am so thankful that the Lord always completes the work He starts (Philippians 1:6).

While I was studying Matthew, one of the cross-references led me to this passage in Revelation:

“I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.” Revelation 2:2-5

These words cut right to my heart (Hebrews 4:12). Even though Jesus said these words to the church in Ephesus two thousand years ago, He meant them for me at that moment. He was right: my love for Him had faded and I needed do the things that stirred my affections for Him. I needed to be in His Word. Now I have been keeping my daily quiet times, but they were more like snacks as compared to the feast that I so desperately needed. I was giving away way more in ministry and service than I was taking in through God's Word and I was burnt out. I needed to spend some extended amounts of time with Jesus.

But when? As I looked at my schedule, there was hardly a moment to spare. Many of the activities that had been waiting to be scheduled all seemed to fall in consecutive days over the past few weeks. All I wanted now was to spend hours alone with Christ, but I couldn’t. I was to busy. Through this the Lord help me realize that I had bought into a lie. I had convinced myself that since I was single, I needed to be spent for the gospel (which I’ve posted about before here and here). And while there is truth to that, I also need to be using this time to go deeper with Christ. There is such a thing as being overspent for the gospel. While the Lord does want me to serve Him and spread the message and hope of Christ, He is more interested in my heart. Once again, I’ve been a Martha and not a Mary.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

I cannot even tell you how many times the Lord has convicted me with this passage over the last ten years. My default is Martha, but I do long to be a Mary. The Lord knows I need help, though. :) He has been graciously showing me things that I can weed out of my schedule, so that I can spend more time with Him. I have taken the next two weeks off from ministry for this very purpose, and I am excited to see what the Lord does!

Therefore say to them, Thus declares the Lord of hosts: Return to me, says the Lord of hosts, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts. Zechariah 1:3

Guarded Heart

I have been a position several times lately to give dating advice, which I find rather ironic considering my limited experience in that regard. But the Lord’s Word is sufficient for all areas and circumstances of life and so, I guess, in some respects I am fully equipped to speak truth to my sisters in Christ regarding dating.

One of the benefits of being a single woman in my late twenties is that I know that dating and relationships and marriages aren’t just one big fairy tale. That bubble was burst long ago. The Lord has also shown me the culture’s influence in my ideas and standards of dating so that I have gotten rid of a lot of unessential expectations and qualifications that find no basis in God’s Word, so that when a friend does ask me my thoughts on her dating a Christian brother who’s asked her out, I have three questions I generally ask:

1. Are you interested? I mean, don’t just say yes because it feels good to be pursued. Don’t let him take you out if you already know you don’t want to go on a second date.
2. Do you respect him/do you think you could follow his leadership? I realize that this question requires some kind of previous interaction with the guy, so it may not be answerable at first, but it is a question to keep in mind.
3. Is God leading you to date this person? This is the question that trumps the other questions, regardless of how the first two are answered.

One little piece of advice I am more hesitant to give, however, is one that I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve had said to me (and, yes, I have said it numerous times to other ladies as well), and, that is, “Guard your heart.” This phrase derives from Proverbs 4:23 (NIV):

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

Now this verse is actually not in the context of relationships at all. It is, instead, calling believers to protect what kind of influences we allow into our lives because what we allow to influence us will shape us. Proverbs is all about walking in wisdom and to do that we must know and fear and obey the Lord. Nonetheless, this phrase is a common one in the dating world (I am not sure if it is with guys, but it definitely is with women).

Now I think the general meaning behind this phrase when applied to dating is “be careful, don’t let your feelings run away with you, don’t read into things, etc.” But the phrase itself is not very practical or clear advice. My sinful heart hears those words and says, “Guard your heart = disconnect yourself from all emotion so you don’t get hurt,” and so that’s what I did in the past and it's what I’m learning not to do now.

Now I have that natural sinful tendency anyway without any prompting. This is very anti-biblical (hence the adjective sinful). God tells us to love others and we can only love others by letting them into our lives, being vulnerable, and letting our guard down, so to speak. This applies to every kind of relationship. The truth is, relationships are messy and will be painful at some point. There is no way to guard against that unless you become anti-social altogether (which is also unbiblical and unnatural – God made us to be in relationship with both Him and others). In any relationship – whether with family or friends or dating – your heart and feelings are going to become involved. You will become attached. That’s just how it works. It’s deceptive to believe otherwise (and I am mainly preaching to myself here!), but, then again, sin is deceitful. That’s its nature and power, but God in His mercy exposes our sin for what it is and frees us with the truth (John 8:32) of His Word and the provision of Jesus Christ (Romans 8:2; Galatians 5:1).

The truth is we do not have the power to guard our hearts in this way and the Bible doesn’t command us to do this. Instead, the Bible commands us to guard our affections so that Christ and only Christ is central. He should be the object of all our love and devotion and thoughts and concern and desire. Him and Him alone. Not friends, not family, not dating relationships, or any other person or thing. They do not satisfy and they do not ultimately last. Jesus Christ alone satisfies us and He satisfies us forever (John 4:13-14).

    You open your hand;
        You satisfy the desire of every living thing. Psalm 145:16

For more on this topic see these articles from Revive Our Hearts and True Woman.

The Safest Place to Be

It’s one of those common Christian sayings that’s floating around (it’s been said to me and I have said it as well):

The safest place to be is in the will of God.

I understand the intent behind the saying, but it’s got me thinking: is it true? There are many sayings that we repeat without thinking about what they mean, but accept them because they’re so common and comfortable and, well, they could be true. When I hear this particular one, something just seems off about it. Is God’s will really the safest place to be? Not necessarily. And I think the Bible and life experience proves otherwise.

First of all, God’s main concern isn’t for our safety. He is primarily concerned with making much of Christ through and in us. So safety isn’t everything. My safety isn’t always my good. (This doesn’t mean that you don’t try to walk in wisdom or that you seek out trouble and hardship, but it does mean that comfort and safety are not to be our primary goals and concern.) Just look at some examples in the Bible. Joseph was sold by his brothers to be a slave in Egypt and then he was imprisoned for something he didn’t do. The Prophet Elijah was on the king and queen’s most wanted list, especially after ridiculing their gods and priests. He had to run for his life. The Apostle Paul was shipwrecked, imprisoned, beaten, bitten by a viper, stoned, mobbed, and the list goes on (2 Corinthians 11:23-27). His life was not one that was characterized by safety. There are many, many other examples. The list could go on and on: David, Daniel, Peter, James, Stephen. All of their lives were meant to display the greatness of Christ and all of the unsafe situations they were in were meant for their good.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Then there is Jesus Himself. Jesus, the perfect Man, the Son of God, God in the flesh, was constantly in danger. And He was always perfectly in God’s will (John 8:29). The religious leaders and sometimes the crowds wanted Him dead. Eventually, when the time was right according to God, they got their wish. Jesus was beaten beyond recognition and then nailed to a cross where He died. He was not concerned with safety; He was concerned with accomplishing the Father’s will. And it’s a good thing for us that He was; otherwise, we would be left in our sins, separated from God, destined for hell. But He gives us life. And we believers are called to be like Him in every way.

A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40

So, yes, in one sense, the safest place to be is in God’s will. God’s will is for us to know Christ. He alone keeps us eternally safe from the wrath of God. God's will is also for us to make much of Christ and to make Him known, and, sometimes, in order for that to happen, we must suffer, we must be "unsafe." So maybe the better phrase to use would be, “The best place to be is in the will of God.” It’s not easy. It’s not comfortable and it’s definitely not safe. But it is best.

"Is he [Aslan]—quite safe?" […]
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver [...] "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia