Reflections on a Year Ago :: Marriage

Photo credit: Sarah Mesa Photography

A year ago yesterday Daniel and I got married. It’s crazy to think it’s been a year since we committed our lives to each other and I traded my name for his, but, then again, so much has happened that it's also not that unbelievable.

Our first year of marriage was, in a word, grace-filled (or is that two words?). The Lord has been so incredibly generous to pour so much grace and love into our marriage. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with us as a couple because we rarely disagree. It could be our temperaments. It could be our desire to please the other. But I really believe it’s the Lord. He alone can create the peace and grace we’ve experienced in our relationship to date.

Though, don’t get me wrong, we have had our share of apologizing and compromising and forgiving. We have had miscommunications and conflicting desires. We have sinned against each other. But these have been, with God’s help, easily and quickly worked through, and we have been growing in communication through them (me especially).

One of the things I expected in marriage was that God would use it as a means of sanctification in each of our lives. By living in such a intimate relationship, our selfishness and pride has many opportunities to express itself. What I did not expect, however, was how the Lord would use Daniel in my life to expose, in greater depths, my desire to please others (especially him) and my desire to appear as though I have it all together (which is hard to do when you're having an almost weekly emotional meltdown due to all the stressers in life).

Photo credit: Sarah Mesa Photography

Not only was I still grieving the loss of my dad and still reeling from all the changes, but – and this is what I didn’t expect – I saw how much I fell short every day. You see, before I got married I would have considered myself a pretty competent person. But then I married my husband, who is extremely competent and does almost everything well (now I know he’s not perfect, but sometimes he comes pretty close!). All of a sudden, I saw how incompetent I was. It seemed like I was always making mistakes or getting my facts mixed up. It was very humbling – very pride-killing. Daniel never pointed out my flaws or really even noticed, but I did. I felt in a new way the weight of Romans 3:23. If I can’t even measure up to my own standards or to the standard my husband sets by his own competence and ability, then how on earth could I measure up to God’s? I can’t. The Bible tells me that. I knew it mentally. But now I felt it.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

This was one thing I did not expect marriage to sharpen for me, but it did. God knew I needed it. He knew I needed to feel my utter dependency and need for Him. He needed to kill my self-sufficiency and self-determination. And I think that the emotional stress and chaotic circumstances along with this drove me to God in a new and deeper way. I couldn’t be the wife God called me to be without Him. I couldn’t work with special needs children without Him. I couldn’t be the church member, friend, sister, daughter – you name it – without Him. I need Jesus desperately every single day.

Photo credit: Sarah Mesa Photography

On the heels of this, though, was another lesson filled with beauty. Any time I messed up, Daniel was always willing and ready to lavish me with grace – to help me and forgive me. He never thought twice about it. He didn’t see me as a mess up. In fact, he probably couldn’t recall the things I did or said wrong. He sees me much differently than I see myself. Isn’t that a picture of Jesus? He is always willing and ready to forgive us when we come to Him and He wants to help us grow. He doesn’t recall the sin He forgives - the sin which He paid for. God doesn’t see us for the mess we really are because the perfection of Jesus covers us. He sees us much differently than we see ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we see our mistakes, imperfections, what could have been; but when Jesus looks at us, He sees us as perfect.

So although marriage has exposed my imperfections and my sinful desires, it has also revealed Jesus to me in a deeper, fuller way. I understand and experience and visibly see His love better than I ever have before. My husband loves me a lot. He tells me so and shows me so every day. But Christ loves me infinitely more. There is so much more to learn about His great love (see the Ephesians passage below), but I am thankful for this first year of marriage that has taken me deeper into it already.

Daniel, thank you for showing Jesus to me. I love you.

No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 1 John 4:12

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

Love Fulfills the Law

One of the things that the Lord has been pressing upon my heart these last several weeks is how love fulfills His law (His perfect standard, requirements, and will). “Every sin is a failure in love” (Elyse Fitzpatrick, Because He Loves Me). No wonder Jesus can say that to love God with all one’s heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself sums up the entirety of God’s law (Matthew 22:34-40; cf. Matthew 7:12). He said these were were the greatest commandment. The Apostle Paul says the same thing:

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:8-10

And again:

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:13-14

This is incredibly hard for us. We love God and others far from perfectly. We tend to focus on our own little kingdoms and put our own desires, preferences, and needs before those of others. We are selfish to the core and selfish people don’t love others perfectly  (which is what God requires of us), no matter how hard we may try or desire. Which means – and this is the bad news – we constantly break God’s standard, storing up for ourselves His just wrath (Romans 2:5; John 3:36).

But, thankfully, there is good news. There is a remedy available purchased by God Himself. The Bible says He is love (1 John 4:8), and He showed His great love for us “in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus came to earth to live the perfectly life that we could not. He loved and served God perfectly and He loved and served others perfectly. He always put the needs of others before His own, so much so that He willingly gave His life to save people from sin and death and eternal punishment (which the Christian world will be celebrating next Sunday). Jesus Christ fulfilled the righteous requirement of the law, so that those of us who follow Him would have His perfect record of loving others credited to us (Romans 8:4). He loved God and others perfectly for us.

Now He commands us to imitate Him. He calls us to love as He loved (John 13:34). And how did He love? He loved sacrificially, humbling, and to the uttermost.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Romans 2:3-8

This is a high calling. But we are not to try to do it on our own. Those who know and love God have His Spirit in them, which gives them the desire and ability to obey His commands (Romans 8:9; Philippians 2:13). And this love that we display for God by loving others is an overflow of the work He has already done for and in us. We can love and serve others, we can consider their interests above our own, exactly because we have been loved, forgiven, adopted, accepted, and given a hope and future in Jesus Christ. We are secure in Him, so we have no need to be jealous or strive to make our name great or defend our reputation or fear rejection or failure because in Christ we have a new name, a new identity, an eternal home, and we have been forever accepted by God. This is what every human heart longs for ultimately – acceptance/belongingness, security, and purpose. If you are in Christ, you have all of those things and more (see Ephesians 1:3).

What does this look like? It varies depending on where you are and what you are doing on a daily basis, but at the bare-bones level, it simply means serving others, treating others the way you want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). One practical example, one in which I failed out, comes to mind. As the Lord was starting to bring all the above to my mind, He used a concrete example to burn it into my mind. I was driving to work one day and saw someone’s garbage can in the middle of the opposing lane. It was a windy day and the wind had rolled it out onto the road. I watched as cars swerved to go around it. Later, on my way home from work, the trash can was still in the road – this time in my lane. I watched as the two cars in front of me swerved to go around it. The thought “came” to me that I should pull over and move the trash can to the side of the road. I thought about it, but when the moment came, I drove around it instead. As I pondered my decision, I asked myself, “Is it okay that I didn’t move that trash can out of the way? Was it my responsibility to?” Then the Lord’s words came rushing to my mind about loving one’s neighbor and doing good to one’s neighbor, which fulfills the law. The question isn’t, “Is it my responsibility?”, but, “What is the most loving action here?” To which the answer would of course be: pull over and pick up the trash can.

Before ending, I would also like to point out that loving others is proof that we belong to God. If someone claims to know Christ, to be a Christian, and doesn’t show love to others (not perfectly, of course, but consistently), then it is questionable if he or she knows Christ at all. At least that is what the Apostle John says:

By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. 1 John 3:10

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 1 John 4:20

As our word grows colder and more selfish and loveless, the words of Christ will seem even truer:

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

The world will know that we are Christians by our love for one another. Thank God for His great love displayed most potently in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! Take this week before Easter Sunday to meditate on this demonstration of God's great love (John 3:16).

It Takes the Church

Wow. I can’t believe it's almost been two months since my last post - a testament to the craziness of the last few months. During that time I quit my job at Southern (July 25th), got married (August 2nd), and moved to Pittsburgh (August 19th) where my husband (!) just started a Ph.D. at Duquesne (August 25th). I am just now starting to feel like I can catch my breath.

There are so many things I could blog about, but I wanted to take time to focus on the faithfulness of God shown through His people, the church, to make my marriage ceremony to Daniel Hurst happen.

It is true that God cares about the most minute details of life. I experienced that firsthand. Jesus says that our heavenly Father feeds the birds and that He adorns the flowers with their many colors, shapes, and sizes (Matthew 6:25-33). How much more will He care for His children for whom He sent His Son Jesus to die…and care for them in every single detail of their lives (John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 9:8; Philippians 4:19)?

Daniel and I wanted Jesus to be put on display through our wedding ceremony (and most importantly our marriage), so we covered every detail of it with prayer. And God answered and provided. We wanted the ceremony to be a worship service that was full of God’s joy and peace and we wanted to honor God with our resources (i.e. we didn't want to spend a lot of money or have an elaborate ceremony). And God honored those desires. When choosing colors and cake and such, neither of us were set on any particular ideal. We were both very open to whatever the Lord might have for us. As I prayed about details, ideas would just “come to my mind.” For example: while looking at wedding cakes (which apparently are very expensive), I didn’t want to spend over $200. Everything I found was around $300 for a three-tier cake and sheet cake. I don’t even like cake. So I talked to the Lord about this and, as I was falling asleep one evening, the thought came, “What about a two-tier cake?” The next day, Daniel and I went to Whole Foods (who we heard had decently-priced wedding cakes). Each Whole Foods is different, and the one in Louisville was just starting to tap into the wedding-cake industry. Since that hadn’t launched, they could only do two-tier cakes for $50. Sold. And it turned out beautifully (especially after Daniel’s sister added the flowers).

Sarah Ayer Photography

That is just one example of many of how the Lord guided and provided. But what’s even better than that is how God’s people came together to make our wedding day happen. My bridesmaids and other Christian sisters let me borrow things to use as décor or connected me to people who had what I needed/wanted AND they did a lot of the work. I honestly could care less about decorating and such (not my forte), but these women were more than eager, not to mention joyful, to help in any way they could.

The same can be said about our church family, Rolling Fields Church. There was a buzz of excitement in the air throughout the church body leading up to our wedding day. There were so many people who helped out behind the scenes before, during, and after the ceremony: setting the stage, setting up chairs and tables for the rehearsal dinner and reception, preparing and serving food at the reception, making the bouquets and floral arrangements…I can’t help thinking that last year, Rolling Fields wept with those who wept, and how this year, they rejoiced with those who rejoiced (Romans 12:15). They practically showed the love of Christ to Daniel and me – and still continue to do so even though we’ve moved away.

The day of the wedding, everything just seemed to “fall into place” (Psalm 37:5). The rain moved out that morning just in time for outdoor pictures, and the Lord provided the beautiful weather for which we had prayed. Jesus filled me with His peace throughout the day and His presence was evident in our ceremony. Many people commented on how the ceremony pointed to Jesus – which is what we had deeply desired and prayed for (Psalm 37:4). To Him be the glory.

Sarah Ayer Photography

So this is why I titled this blog “It Takes the Church.” Could we have pulled off this wedding day on our own? Probably so, but it would have taken more time and money, been more stressful (because it turned out to be rather stress-free) and less joyful, and we wouldn’t have had the blessings of watching the church be the church to us. And these brothers and sisters not only invested in our wedding day, they invested into our lives and into our marriage, which they were rightly more concerned about. So in saying “It takes the church,” I am saying it takes the body of Christ expressed in the form of the local church body (not the building – though that was useful for our ceremony :). And that’s the way it should be, right? Because, after all, the wedding ceremony is a picture and foretelling of the Great Wedding to come: the marriage of Jesus Christ to His Bride, the Church (Revelation 19:6-9; Ephesians 5:32). This is the Wedding Day we’re all waiting for (whether we realize it or not) and the only one that matters eternally. “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9).

If you were unable to make it to our ceremony and want to watch it, click below.
 

My Turn

Rachel and Daniel :: Engaged! May 3, 2014

Chosen and Proven Love

Resurrection Weekend (aka Easter Weekend) and the days leading up to it flew by in a whirlwind of activity. I usually take some time during this time of year to reflect on what is known as Holy Week and to place special attention on the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I continued this tradition this year, but I wasn’t able to deeply reflect on the meaning of Easter as much as I would have liked.

Yet, God in His grace still helped me understand the depths of His love and the power of the gospel in a fresh way this year. He led me to a short Holy Week devotional called Love to the Uttermost by John Piper that helped greatly guide and focus my thoughts regarding the Easter story. This is the central and most crucial event in the Christian faith (as in, without it, we have no faith), so even though it deserves our constant reflection and attention, it is fitting to set aside specific time to ponder the depths of its reality and truth.

There seems to be several key words that encapsulate what God has been showing me about Jesus’ death and resurrection this year: joy, delight, choice, and love. All of them are related and all of them find their source in God, not in me – as in Jesus showed me it was the Father’s and His delight and joy and choice and love for Him to suffer, die on the cross, and then come back to life three days later. As Piper said over and over in his devotional, this extravagant love was a free love and it was driven by joy. The Father freely chose to send His Son to save rebellious, sinful people from eternal torment and separation from Him in hell, and the Son freely chose to give His live as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). The greatest and truest expression of love is a love that is given freely, not out of duty or coercion.

It was the Father’s delight to send His Son as the perfect substitute for sinners (John 3:16; 1 John 3:9-11). He freely chose to do so. He chose to set His love on us, even though we were spiritually dead in our sins (Ephesians 1:3-10; 2:1-10). God was not under any obligation whatsoever to do this. There was nothing in us that was desirable or that warranted His attention or affection (Deuteronomy 7:7-8; 10:15). There was nothing we did or could do to earn His favor or love because even the good things we think we do are filthy according to His perfect standard (Isaiah 65:6; Romans 3:23). So God didn’t owe us anything that He should set His love on us or show us favor. 

Furthermore, it was Jesus’ delight to do His Father’s will (Psalm 40:8) and to save a people for Himself (Hebrews 12:2). He freely chose to die a gruesome death in order to do so. His life was His to give over to death and it was His to bring back from the dead (John 10:17-18). No one took His life from Him in the ultimate sense; He freely chose to lay it down. He freely chose to endure the cross because of the joy and glory and reward that was set before Him (Hebrews 12:2). That reward was a people from every tribe, tongue, nation, and people that would be His treasured possession and that would sing His praises forever and ever (Revelation 7:9-10). So God demonstrates His love through the death of His Son Jesus Christ to save a people for Himself.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

What more can He do to prove His love for us (something God has asked me when I've doubted or questioned His love for me)? Nothing. The life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the ultimate expression of God’s love for His chosen people. It is something we will never fully grasp or explore or exhaust, but it is real. And it’s reality is rooted in history: in the real, historical person of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. God’s love is not abstract. Not at all. It was displayed in the most critical event of all of human history. 

So God chose a people for Himself and then He pursues that people and rescues that people by sending His Son to die in their place in order that He can be with His people for all of eternity. That’s grace. That’s love – love that’s chosen and proven. That is love to the uttermost (John 13:1).

This is the center of the gospel—this is what the Garden
of Gethsemane and Good Friday are all about—that God
has done astonishing and costly things to draw us near. He
has sent his Son to suffer and to die so that through him
we might draw near. It’s all so that we might draw near.
And all of this is for our joy and for his glory. Piper, Love to the Uttermost (page 28)

On a slightly different note, I have been thinking about how the resurrection of Jesus on that first Easter morning gives us such hope for our future resurrection to life with Him. I have been thinking about this especially in regards to my dad. Because of Jesus’ victory over death and His resurrection, my dad too will have victory over death and will be raised to new life. Because of Jesus’ resurrection, I will one day be re-united with my dad…but in much, much better circumstances. :)

He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken. Isaiah 25:8

How Deep

Today marks the 13^th year since God saved me. But I guess that is just from my finite point of view because, according to the Bible, God chose to save me long before time even began.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

This morning God graciously overwhelmed me with His love and presence. I have been thinking about how God chose me to be His more and more lately. I think the relationship I’m currently in has prompted this. Even though dating/marriage relationships are finite, they do mirror God’s relationship to us in some respects, and this relationship has helped me to better understand God’s choosing and loving pursuit of me. I didn’t really do anything to earn the attention and pursuit of the man I’m dating (though, unlike God, he must have seen something attractive in me). He chose to pursue me and, for some reason, keeps choosing to do so. God, on the other hand, saw me before I was created, saw that I was a rebellious sinner in whom there is nothing good (Romans 7:18), and still chose to make me His, to pursue me and save me and love me. It was not because He saw anything in me worth saving or that I did anything to earn His favor or that He even looked into the future and saw that I would follow Him (because I wouldn’t have without His initiative first – 1 John 4:19). No. There was nothing in me that prompted Him choosing me to be His. He just chose to. That is called free grace – God giving me what I do not deserve at no cost whatsoever to me. I couldn’t earn it and didn’t even know I needed it or wanted it. But He gave it and He gave it freely. I do not even pretend to get or understand this.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

God shows His love for us in that WHILE we were STILL sinners, He sent His Son to die for us. We are not good in and of ourselves. This is what this passage is saying. We might be willing to die for the people we love or for someone who is a good person, but the love of Christ is deeper than that. He gave His life not only for those who aren’t good (Romans 3:10-11), but for His enemies (Romans 5:10), for those who deserved His punishment and anger (John 3:36). This is like giving your live to save an Adolf Hitler or a Timothy McVey. We wouldn't do that. But the love of Christ is radical.

I realize more and more the truth that there is nothing good in me apart from Christ (Romans 7:18); that there is nothing in me to commend me to God. But the love of Christ is deep. It is deep enough to cover the deep crevices of sin that lurk in my heart (sin that I don’t even know exists). It is deep enough to cover my limited view of His grace and love. It is deep enough to cover the entirety of my life: from my first breath to my last; all my fears and failures…to cover all of me. Whatever may be my trial or temptation or lot, Christ love is deeper still. He interrupted the darkness that was my life and spoke His light into it (2 Corinthians 4:6). He specializes in such interruptions. I once was dead in my sins, following the course of this world, being ruled by the prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2:1-2). I once was not on a path that would inherit God’s kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). I once was one who did not believe in God and disobeyed His Word (1 Peter 2:7-8). Then come the great “buts” of Scripture:

• But God, because of His great love and mercy, made me alive in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:5)
• But God washed me clean of sin and sanctified me and justified me in Christ by the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:11)
• But God chose me as His own possession, to be a part of His chosen race (1 Peter 2:9)
• But God shows His love for me in that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me (Romans 5:8)

The depth of the love of Christ initiates, provides for, and secures these things. This is not something I even pretend to grasp – and I think I need to be further along in my grasp of it than I am – but it is something that I pray to grow in as I continue to walk with the Lord. It is a prayer that I believe the Lord is answering.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father…that according to the riches of his glory, he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14, 16-19

Exciting News!

Kristi and James :: Engaged! February 14, 2014

Dearly Loved

This is the message that a friend wrote on my calendar for me to find when I returned in September from Missouri: “You are dearly loved.” It is a phrase that kept popping up during those surrounding weeks from those dear to me and even from one of Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening devotionals. And I did feel loved, as people had poured into me for months (see previous post), carrying me through some of my most difficult hours. God revealed the depths of the relationships He had given me during that time. But, more importantly, God was revealing His love for me through His people. He was reminding me that I am dearly loved by Him (more on that in a moment).

Along with the above message, the Lord kept bringing a particular verse to my attention through my daily devotionals, other people, songs, and even a signature line at the bottom of an email:

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

In the hardness, God wanted to remind me that He delights in me; even though I was in a deep valley, teetering on despair, He was singing over me. And He was (is) with me. That is a sweet verse and I gladly welcomed the reminder.

Then more hard weeks followed. Disappointments. Bad News. Failing Faith. Exposed sin. Zephaniah 3:17 forgotten. Most days felt like a struggle or a fog and the presence of Christ seemed far away. All I could see was my life crumbling around me and the wickedness of my own heart rising in response (selfishness, doubts, cynicism, bitterness, anger, etc.). Added to these things was an almost constant internal spiritual warfare. But Christ had a purpose in allowing all of these things into my life. Namely, He wants to magnify His grace as He refines me and reveals more of Himself (in, through and to me).

But it is hard to keep focus on that purpose in the heat of the fire. I realized that I was struggling and the Holy Spirit was prompting me to spend more time in the Word, but I felt like there was a veil keeping me from seeing Christ and His promises clearly. So, over the past week, I started praying for a fresh vision of Christ. And I believe the Father is answering that prayer and here’s why. First, Pastor Bryan prayed that for me and my sister this past weekend. He didn’t know I was desiring that, but God did. Second, the speaker in chapel today said something to that affect at the beginning of his sermon (and can I just say that that sermon was exactly what I needed to hear; pretty much a sum of all that God is teaching me, which I am describing in this post!). Third, God is constantly reminding me of His presence. I mean, constantly: almost daily in my devotionals, in His Word, through other people, and in the past three sermons I have heard. It’s like He is saying, “Just open your eyes, I am here!” Even when I can’t see Him, He is present. Even when I can’t sense Him, He is present. Even when I feel forsaken, He is present. How do I know that? Because the Bible tells me so (Joshua 1:9, Psalm 46:5; Zephaniah 3:17 above, Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5, etc.; cf. Matthew 1:23).

Admittedly, these are much more pleasant lessons to learn than those of patience and waiting and endurance (though I’m learning the former in the midst of the latter). And it goes to show you that you never “arrive.” These are basic, yet deeply-profound truths. Even though I’ve been to seminary and have been following Jesus for a little over a decade, I still need to be reminded of them over and over again:

1. God loves me (Romans 5:8)
2. God is with me (Matthew 28:20)
3. God has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11)

The first one is probably the most difficult one for me to grasp. I have trouble connecting with it. Maybe it's because I'm not a super-sappy kind of person. Maybe it's because I have heard this truth so flippantly used over and over again. I know mentally that God loves me and believe that He does based on Scripture, as a theological truth, but I have trouble feeling it, receiving it, letting it affect me daily (if that makes sense). I don't wake up saying, "God loves me" (though, maybe I should!). I mean, I get that God is just. I get that He is sovereign. I get that He is holy and perfect and true and worthy. But that He loves me specifically and personally (and not just generally), that’s another story. This is something I know that I’ve been deficient in for awhile and something the Lord is slowly growing me in. I know it is something I will never understand completely (see Ephesians 3:18-19), but I also know there is much room for growth. And it’s not like the Lord doesn’t demonstrate His personal love and care for me regularly (like all the examples noted above). The deficiency is in me. I’m having a connection problem. I know that I am dearly loved by Jesus Christ, but I want to feel it, sense it, soak in it. So, if you don’t mind, please pray these words for me from the Apostle Paul:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

How He Loves, part 3

This is the third and final segment of my study in 1 Corinthians 13. I think that my initial premise proves true: this chapter describes love and God is love, therefore, from this chapter we can learn about the character of God. And what an amazingly good and generous and satisfying and mind-blowing God He is!

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8a

Love bears all things


To bear something means to hold up, support, remain firm under, to be capable of, to suffer/endure/undergo, to sustain or to carry/hold. All of these meanings are true of God. God promises that He will carry us even to our old age and that He made us and will bear and carry and save us (Isaiah 46:3-4; see also 1 Corinthians 1:8). In fact, Jesus upholds the whole universe by the word of His power (Hebrews 1:3). And while He upholds both those who do evil and do good—those who are against Him and those who are for Him—the upholding looks different for each group for “the arms of the wicked shall be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous” (Psalm 37:17). Those of us who follow Christ are commanded not to fear because Jesus will strengthen us and help us and uphold us with His “righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). He is our foundation which can never be shaken (1 Corinthians 3:11; cf. Isaiah 28:16). What’s more is that He bears us up daily. King David said, “Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation” (Psalm 68:19). He is our salvation because He bore our sins in His body so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness (1 Peter 2:24; cf. Isaiah 53:12; Hebrews 9:28; 1 Peter 3:18). The Scriptures tell us that when we bear one another’s burdens, we fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

Love believes all things


To believe is to have confidence in the truth and/or have conviction that something or someone is, has or will be engaged in a given action or situation. Jesus has perfect confidence in the the truth because He is truth (John 14:6) and in the future because He knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10; cf. Isaiah 41:4 & 44:1-5). He is acquainted with all our ways and knows our words even before we speak them (Psalm 139). He works in us, “both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). “The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations” (Psalm 33:11). He predestined us for adoption according to His purpose in which He works all things out according to the counsel of His will (Ephesians 1:11), so God knows those who are His and He saves them and keeps them. He also knows the ways of those who are far from Him and works through them to accomplish His purposes (i.e. Romans 9:17).


Love hopes all things


To hope is to look forward to with desire and reasonable – in God’s case, perfect - confidence. Jesus endured the gruesome death of the cross and all the shame and humiliation that accompanied it because He was looking forward to the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2 - see below) – furthering His glory, redeeming the nations and conquering death and the devil. The Lord desires to be with us (believers) who are His bride and knows that it will happen (Revelation 20-23), but He is patiently waiting until all of His people come to know Him (Isaiah 30:18; 1 Timothy 2:4; 2 Peter 3:8-10). The Apostle John saw it in a vision and said,

“And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, as a bride adorned for her Husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new…Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true…It is done!’” (Revelation 21:2-6a).

Love endures all things


Diving into this aspect of Christ and His love was pretty exciting. God endures much for us. He endures with much patience people who are wicked (Romans 9:22). He endured much hostility from sinners as He suffered on our behalf (Hebrews 12:3). Furthermore, He “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated on the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). Jesus endured because He knew it was necessary for Him to suffer these things in order to enter into His glory (Luke 24:26) and in order to “make many to be accounted righteous” (Isaiah 53:11).


Love never ends

God is an everlasting God (Isaiah 40:28; cf. Psalm 90:2; Isaiah 26:4; Jeremiah 10:10; Revelation 22:13) and He loves with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3; cf. Psalm 103:17; Isaiah 54:8). Love never ends because God never ends. God is Love. We have come full circle. :)

But God shows His love toward us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

How He Loves, part 2

The study in 1 Corinthians 13 continues. The great, patient love of Christ is truly amazing. The depth of His love is unsearchable and beyond our finite understanding, but these verses do give us just a glimpse of the richness of His love.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:5b-6 

Love does not insist on its own way


The love between God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ is perfect. Jesus was perfectly obedient to the will of the Father. His obedience means our salvation for God requires perfect obedience to His Law. When was the last time you were perfect even by your own standards? Jesus had to obey the Law for us because we could not. He says in John 5:30 & 6:38, “I seek not My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.” Jesus did not insist on His own way in order to please Himself (Romans 15:3). Jesus proves this over and over in the Gospel accounts. Right before He was about to give His life as a ransom for many, He asked the Father to remove His impending death and suffering and separation with this clause, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39, 42 & 44). A little later He tells Peter who tried to rescue Him, “Do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once send Me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?” (Matthew 26:53-54). He did not insist on His own way in order to save Himself (Isaiah 53:7; 1 Peter 2:23). Jesus is the same toward us. The Apostle Peter says that Christ does not want anybody to perish (apart from His glorious presence), but desires that all would come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). He does not insist on His own way by not choosing all for salvation. His purposes are much grandeur and higher than we could ever comprehend. Jesus, instead, stands at the door and knocks and “If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to Him and eat with Him and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).

Love is not irritable


To be irritable is to be easily irritated or annoyed; easily excited to impatience or anger. The Bible is clear that God is “slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6; cf. Nehemiah 9:17; Psalm 103:8). See love is patient.

Love is not resentful


Some versions translate this part of the verse as “does not keep a record of wrongs.” If you think about it, it is an amazing thing that God does not hold our sins against those of us who are in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:19) because we have seriously offended Him (Romans 3:23; cf. Isaiah 30:1-5, 9-11). We have rejected Him even though He is our Creator and Sustainer and instead make either gods out of ourselves or out of other things (Romans 1:18-3:20). The Apostle Paul said that God, in His divine forbearance, “passed over our former sins” (Romans 3:25) so that He might display His righteousness at the present time through Christ (Romans 3:26). While we were still sinners Christ Jesus died for us (Romans 5:8) thereby canceling the record of sin debt that was against us by nailing it to His cross (Colossians 2:14). The atoning sacrifice of Christ puts our sin far from Him and us (Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 38:17; Micah 7:19). The fact that our sins are cancelled in Christ means that God remembers them no more (Isaiah 43:25; Jeremiah 31:34). In fact, there is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). King David put is this way, “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count sin” (Romans 4:6; cf. Psalm 32:1-2).

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing


All wrongdoing is sin (1 John 5:17) and all sin is lawlessness (1 John 3:4). Those who do not follow Christ take pleasure in wrongdoing (Romans 1:32; 2 Thessalonians 2:12) and will receive God’s judgment (Matthew 7:23). The same used to be true of us who are now in Christ before the Holy Spirit convicted us of our sin (John 16:8-11) and brought us to repentance (1 John 1:9). The Lord does not delight in wickedness (Psalm 5:4; cf. Malachi 2:17) nor does He take pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 18:23, 32, 33:11; “for the wages of sin is death” Romans 6:23). Rather, He delights in displaying His steadfast love (Micah 7:18) so in order to display His great love and perfect justice, He sent “His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin…in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:3-4). Jesus came to take away the sin of the world (John 1:29) and to redeem us from all lawlessness (Titus 2:14) so that He could rejoice over us (Zephaniah 3:17). :)

Love rejoices with the truth


God Himself is Truth (Isaiah 65:16) and He is completely satisfied in Himself. There is much rejoicing in the Godhead where perfect unity, love and truth abound. Jesus rejoiced “in the Holy Spirit and said, ‘I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children.” (Luke 10:21). The Lord takes great delight in the truth. In fact, He searches for those who act in accordance with the truth (Jeremiah 5:3). The Scriptures tell us that God’s Word is Truth (2 Samuel 7:28; Psalm 119:160; John 17:17) and that the Gospel is Truth (Ephesians 1:13; Colossians 1:5; cf. 2 Corinthians 4:4). Jesus is the Word of God and is Truth (John 1:1, 14, 17, 18:37; Ephesians 4:21; Revelation 19:11, 13). Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6). The Holy Spirit is called the Spirit of Truth because He testifies to the truth (John 14:17, 16:13; 1 John 5:6). “But when the Helper comes, whom I will sent to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, He will bear witness about Me” (John 15:26). God is both love and truth and Christ came so that we might know the truth and be set free (John 8:32).

How He Loves, part 1

This post has been a long time coming. Earlier this year, you may recall, I studied 1 Corinthians 13 (the “Love Chapter”) and promised to post about it. This chapter describes what love is. Now in our culture, the word “love” has many different meanings – from the ridiculous to the sincere. We say we love a certain hobby. We love food. We love our favorite sports team. We love our pets. We love our family. I am just as guilty of using this word in such a manner. The biblical idea of love, however, does not coincide with the many meanings we give it. In the Bible, love is steadfast (Psalm 25:6 & 57:10), faithful (2 Timothy 2:13), everlasting (Psalm 103: 17; Isaiah 54:8; Lamentations 3:22), unconditional (Romans 8:35-39) and radical (John 3:16; Ephesians 5:2; 1 John 3:1, 4:10). First John 4:8-9 & 16 tells us that love comes from God and, in fact, God is love. So as I studied through 1 Corinthians 13 verse by verse, my assumption was this: if God is love and if the characteristics in this chapter describe love, then these things must be true of God. The logical conclusion of: if A = B and B = C, then A = C. This post and the ones that follow are the results of my study.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5a

Love is patient


The fact that we are all still here and not consumed by God’s holiness and wrath, proves that God is patient. None of us deserve to be here because we have all rebelled against our Creator – the very One we owe our lives to. BUT God is patient, so we are not consumed. He puts up with our sinfulness (1 Peter 3:20; Romans 9:22) so that He may reveal the “immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness to us who believe” (Ephesians 2:7). Jesus Christ longs for us to know Him and give Him glory and He longs to be gracious to us (Isaiah 30:18). The Apostle Peter says that the Lord is not slow in fulfilling His promises but is patient toward us because He does not want any of us to perish without repenting (2 Peter 3:9; also cf. 1 Timothy 1:16). We should count God’s patience as salvation (2 Peter 3:15; also cf. Romans 2:4).


Love is kind

This characteristic coincides with the previous. The Lord Jesus is incredibly kind in that He is patient toward us and chooses to save us (because He doesn’t have to; see Romans 11:22). BUT He goes beyond just not giving us what were deserve (showing us mercy) by giving us what we do not deserve (showing us grace). The Apostle Paul put it this way, “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but because of His own mercy” (Titus 3:4-5). So, one way we see God’s kindness is by His forgiving us through Christ (Ephesians 4:32). He saves us from death and gives us eternal life…with Him (1 John 3:2)! God’s kindness is more than just doing us a favor, it is giving us all we will ever need in Christ (see Ephesians 2:7 quoted above). Again, God’s kindness is meant to lead us to salvation (Romans 2:4)


Love does not envy

According to the dictionary, envy means “to feel discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages; to be resentful or unhappy because someone else possesses what one wishes oneself to possess.” Now, this could never be true of God because if it was, it would mean He is lacking something. God, however, is an all-sufficient being. He needs nothing. The Apostle Paul says that “The God who made the whole world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:24-25). God is perfectly content because He is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Since He is perfect, He wants to give us the best thing possible – Himself. His giving of Himself means our salvation (see Exodus 6:7).


Love does not boast

To boast is to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride about oneself. This characteristic was probably the most difficult to fit into the logical equation above because if God is perfect (and He is), then is it even possible for Him to exaggerate? Everything that is good and right and true finds its perfection in Him. All of His attributes are perfect, so it is impossible to speak with exaggeration about them. Nevertheless, the Bible tells us that Christ is humble, meek and gentle (2 Corinthians 10:1), which is the opposite of boasting. He does not force Himself on us or constantly display His power and greatness in miraculous ways. He instead pursues us gently and speaks quietly to our hearts (Matthew 11:28-29). Instead of requiring us to make a way to Him, He made the way for us by leaving His throne in Heaven and becoming a man (Philippians 2:5-8) so that He might secure our salvation through His life, death and resurrection (Galatians 4:4-5).


Love is not arrogant

Like boasting, arrogance is having an exaggerated opinion of one’s self or abilities. The same argument from above applies. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that you by His poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9; cf. Romans 15:3, Philippians 2:5-8). For “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for man” (Matthew 20:28), thereby accomplishing our salvation.


Love is not rude

To be rude is to be impolite, rough in nature/behavior/manners, harsh, ungentle, and violent. It is the opposite of kind. The Lord Jesus is most definitely not rude. I already mentioned how He gently pursues us. He Himself testified to His gentleness when He said, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). King David says that God’s gentleness makes us great because He gives us the shield of His salvation to rescue us from danger and protect us from the enemy (2 Samuel 22:36; Psalm 18:35). Through Him we are victorious over sin, death and anything that life may through against us (Romans 8:31-37). His gentleness, therefore, contributes to our salvation.


Side note: Love, patience and kindness are all fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) that He works in believers to show that they belong to Christ and to point others toward Christ.