It Takes the Church

Wow. I can’t believe it's almost been two months since my last post - a testament to the craziness of the last few months. During that time I quit my job at Southern (July 25th), got married (August 2nd), and moved to Pittsburgh (August 19th) where my husband (!) just started a Ph.D. at Duquesne (August 25th). I am just now starting to feel like I can catch my breath.

There are so many things I could blog about, but I wanted to take time to focus on the faithfulness of God shown through His people, the church, to make my marriage ceremony to Daniel Hurst happen.

It is true that God cares about the most minute details of life. I experienced that firsthand. Jesus says that our heavenly Father feeds the birds and that He adorns the flowers with their many colors, shapes, and sizes (Matthew 6:25-33). How much more will He care for His children for whom He sent His Son Jesus to die…and care for them in every single detail of their lives (John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 9:8; Philippians 4:19)?

Daniel and I wanted Jesus to be put on display through our wedding ceremony (and most importantly our marriage), so we covered every detail of it with prayer. And God answered and provided. We wanted the ceremony to be a worship service that was full of God’s joy and peace and we wanted to honor God with our resources (i.e. we didn't want to spend a lot of money or have an elaborate ceremony). And God honored those desires. When choosing colors and cake and such, neither of us were set on any particular ideal. We were both very open to whatever the Lord might have for us. As I prayed about details, ideas would just “come to my mind.” For example: while looking at wedding cakes (which apparently are very expensive), I didn’t want to spend over $200. Everything I found was around $300 for a three-tier cake and sheet cake. I don’t even like cake. So I talked to the Lord about this and, as I was falling asleep one evening, the thought came, “What about a two-tier cake?” The next day, Daniel and I went to Whole Foods (who we heard had decently-priced wedding cakes). Each Whole Foods is different, and the one in Louisville was just starting to tap into the wedding-cake industry. Since that hadn’t launched, they could only do two-tier cakes for $50. Sold. And it turned out beautifully (especially after Daniel’s sister added the flowers).

Sarah Ayer Photography

That is just one example of many of how the Lord guided and provided. But what’s even better than that is how God’s people came together to make our wedding day happen. My bridesmaids and other Christian sisters let me borrow things to use as décor or connected me to people who had what I needed/wanted AND they did a lot of the work. I honestly could care less about decorating and such (not my forte), but these women were more than eager, not to mention joyful, to help in any way they could.

The same can be said about our church family, Rolling Fields Church. There was a buzz of excitement in the air throughout the church body leading up to our wedding day. There were so many people who helped out behind the scenes before, during, and after the ceremony: setting the stage, setting up chairs and tables for the rehearsal dinner and reception, preparing and serving food at the reception, making the bouquets and floral arrangements…I can’t help thinking that last year, Rolling Fields wept with those who wept, and how this year, they rejoiced with those who rejoiced (Romans 12:15). They practically showed the love of Christ to Daniel and me – and still continue to do so even though we’ve moved away.

The day of the wedding, everything just seemed to “fall into place” (Psalm 37:5). The rain moved out that morning just in time for outdoor pictures, and the Lord provided the beautiful weather for which we had prayed. Jesus filled me with His peace throughout the day and His presence was evident in our ceremony. Many people commented on how the ceremony pointed to Jesus – which is what we had deeply desired and prayed for (Psalm 37:4). To Him be the glory.

Sarah Ayer Photography

So this is why I titled this blog “It Takes the Church.” Could we have pulled off this wedding day on our own? Probably so, but it would have taken more time and money, been more stressful (because it turned out to be rather stress-free) and less joyful, and we wouldn’t have had the blessings of watching the church be the church to us. And these brothers and sisters not only invested in our wedding day, they invested into our lives and into our marriage, which they were rightly more concerned about. So in saying “It takes the church,” I am saying it takes the body of Christ expressed in the form of the local church body (not the building – though that was useful for our ceremony :). And that’s the way it should be, right? Because, after all, the wedding ceremony is a picture and foretelling of the Great Wedding to come: the marriage of Jesus Christ to His Bride, the Church (Revelation 19:6-9; Ephesians 5:32). This is the Wedding Day we’re all waiting for (whether we realize it or not) and the only one that matters eternally. “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9).

If you were unable to make it to our ceremony and want to watch it, click below.
 

Gladdened Days

but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love - Lamentations 3:32

The verse has been running through my mind the past few weeks. It’s no secret that the last few years have been hard. The Lord has done much to cause grief, but He did so in order to show His compassion. He has been at work refining and pruning and disciplining and teaching and revealing through the various trials and difficulties He has allowed in my life. The lessons have been invaluable, and even though I may not be thankful for the circumstances themselves, I am thankful for all that the Lord did in me and through me because of them.

But these latter months have been different. The Lord has been pleased to bring more joyous occasions into mine and my family’s lives. Namely, both my sister and me are getting married this year. This is the gift of the Lord and many people have pointed out His kindness in bringing such happy circumstances into our lives after such a tough season. I couldn’t agree more. But, yet, I still have this underlying fear that this will all end badly too; that the hard lessons aren’t over. In essence, I am not trusting God or hoping in Him or believing that He is working for my good – which is sin. God has proven Himself over and over to be both good and faithful to me, but yet I still have troubling believing Him. When my focus is on Him and not my circumstances or fears or my inabilities or shortcomings, I can live in the freedom and joy and peace of all God is for me in Jesus Christ. But when my focus is elsewhere, fear and disbelief and mistrust takes over.

But even when I’m faltering, God is still kind and ever-willing to show Himself faithful. As Jerry Bridges says, whether I believe it or not, God is still working all things for my good just as He promises in Romans 8:28. And God has been ever so gracious to give me glimpses of that.

There are some pretty hard holidays/occasions coming up for me and my family that will remind us of the pain from last year. There are also several bridal showers. As I was looking at the calendar for the summer, I realized that every single occasion coming up was surrounded by a celebratory event. God had already gone before us. 

May 3 – Azalea Weekend in Frederickown, MO (Derby Weekend in Louisville): Last year, Kristi and I went home to MO to spend Azalea weekend with Dad. We had visions of the tractor pull and car show…but it was not to be. It was rainy and chilly that weekend and my dad was super sensitive to the cold because of the chemo. It was a disappointing weekend and it was hard to see my dad so frail and miserable. But this year was not disappointing. This year I got engaged. :)

Mother’s Day – Mom said this would be a hard day for her because Dad always got her a gift and card. This year the Lord worked it out that Kristi and I could spend the weekend with her. We went wedding dress shopping. We went out to eat. We watched a movie together. I also had a bridal shower.

Father’s Day – We weren’t home last year, but we did call our Dad. I can’t do that this year. For obvious reasons, this will be a hard day. This year, on the day prior to Father’s day, Kristi & James and Daniel & I plan to go to St. Louis to do each other’s engagement photos.

Dad’s Birthday (June 23rd) – Last year, Kristi and I went home for Dad’s birthday. It was also the start of my FMLA leave from work to take care of Dad. This year, we are going home to Missouri again, but this time for Kristi’s first bridal shower.

Fourth of July – Last year, Dad was extremely sick and was throwing up for days. Both he and I went into the hospital (different ones) on July 5th. This year, Rolling Fields is throwing me a bridal shower on July 6th.

Mom & Dad’s Wedding Anniversary (July 11th) – Not only is this Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary, it was also the day that Dad had surgery last year and the day that the surgeon told us to call hospice. This year, I am throwing my sister a shower on July 12th.

September 3 – This will mark the one-year point since my dad’s death. Although, time does heal the wound, the pain is still very much there and so is the void. There actually isn’t an event this year to offset this date like those listed above, but both mine and my sister’s weddings (August 2nd and October 4th respectively) surround it perfectly. September 3rd is smack dab in the middle of those two dates.

Do you see the kindness of the Lord in this? We did not plan these dates, but He did. These were just the dates that “happened” to work best with our schedules or with the schedules of others. This is not to say that there won’t still be pain and tears and sorrow. There will be, but the Father is kind to give us something to celebrate in the midst of the sorrow. He is helping us make good memories in the midst of the painful ones. I’m not even that big on showers, but they are a celebration of something good that God is doing in our lives, of an earthly gift that the Lord is giving us, and of the future marriage union we believers will one day have with Christ.

Carried

The past two weeks have been rather rough. My attitude and response toward life has been less than praiseworthy and I have had several meltdowns when bad news or disappointment has come my way. There is an instability within myself that I’ve not known before as I struggle to cling to God’s promises and wrestle with deep questions. But although I’ve been struggling (more like drowning on some days), I am not alone. God has not abandoned me. In fact, He meets me everyday through His Word and through His people to strengthen, encourage, sustain, and even rebuke me.

God has given me some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ for which I am deeply thankful. I do not deserve such kindness, but, thankfully, the Lord does not give me what I deserve. These men and women have shared Scripture with me, prayed for and with me, cried with me, pointed me to Christ, and helped me remember God’s promises. They have literally been the hands and feet of Jesus to me during these turbulent times. Like on Friday when I was having one of those aforementioned meltdowns at work, one sweet friend took over my gatekeeper position in the office while I went to the bathroom to cry. As I was sitting on the floor sobbing, another sweet friend came in and sat with me and prayed with me. I know the Lord sent her to me to comfort me in that moment.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ…But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Corinthians 12:12, 24-26

One of the sweetest aspects of the last few months has been watching the church be the church (as described in the passage above). While I do have amazing friends at work and in ministry, I am also very blessed to be a part of two wonderful church families – one in my hometown in Missouri and the other here in the Kentuckiana area. While they are pretty different from one another in many ways, both are committed to the Word of God and both long to show the love of Christ in practical ways. They long to be the church found in Acts 2 that is committed to the teachings of Jesus and devoted to love one another as well as the those who are unchurched. Most people have trouble finding one solid church that they can be a part of, but the Lord has let me be a part of two.

The first is Meadow Heights Church in Fredericktown, Missouri. I started attending this church when I was in the seventh grade. It was instrumental in me coming to faith in Christ, watering the seeds of faith that were sown by my parents, and played a vital role in my early stages as a new Christian, teaching me what it meant to follow Christ and the importance of having a daily quiet time with Him. Even though I haven’t been regularly attending that church since I moved to Louisville, they are still like family to me and are always more than willing to help me and my family. They were more than helpful when my dad was sick and when he passed away, bringing us food, providing a location as well as the menu for the after-funeral dinner, offering many, many prayers, giving money – willing and eager to do whatever was needed. Even now, they continue to help my mom with things she needs done around the house. They do this because the love of Christ compels them. Because, honestly, they are not receiving many benefits from my family. You can’t say it’s because of our tithes or our service or any such thing because Kristi and I don’t live there anymore. They did it out of love – love for Jesus and love for us.  

After moving to Louisville, I began attending Rolling Fields Church in Jeffersonville, Indiana (right across the river from Louisville). I have been a member there for six years now (hard to believe!). It is a small church and most people in the Louisville area haven’t heard of it, but God is up to some great things there. It is a rare place where you get solid teaching and have plenty of opportunities to serve. The Lord has used this church to stretch me in many ways when it comes to serving and leading, and it has also been instrumental in sustaining me through these difficult years. Every sermon is exactly what I need to hear. Since the church is small, I have grown a lot when it comes to fellowshipping with other believes. I am a private person and sinfully self-reliant, so this wasn’t my strong suit when it came to the spiritual disciplines, but you can’t hide that well in small places, and I have learned to give of myself to others and let them give of themselves to me, and I have been blessed immensely by the deeper relationships that God has allowed me to develop there. Rolling Fields has also been such a blessing to me and my family (whom they’ve barely met) these past few months. Even though they couldn’t be with us physically (though I know they wished they could!), they sent money and encouraging cards and emails and offered up countless prayers – willing and eager to do whatever was needed. They too do this because the love of Christ compels them. I was gone to Missouri for three months. They had every excuse to let my home church care for me, to focus on more local things, to say they are too small and their resources too few, but they didn’t. They did it out of love – love for Jesus and love for me and my family.

So these two bodies of believers have been God’s means of grace to me. God is the God of all comfort, and He chose to comfort and provide and care for me and my family through His people, His body, His church(es). And isn’t that the way it should be? Yes. This is the way the church is supposed to function: supporting weak members, caring for one another, sacrificing to help those in need. This is what Christ does for us. He helps the weak (2 Corinthians 12:9). He cares for others (1 Peter 5:7). He sacrificed Himself to help those in need (Hebrews 10:10-14). He is the head of the church, His body, and His body is supposed to follow His example (Colossian 1:18). This is the mark of a true church: loving God and loving others, representing Christ (His heart and mission) to those around them. I am blessed to be part of two such churches and I am very thankful for them both.

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3

The God Who Sees Me

So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing [Hb. ’El Ro’i],” for she said, “Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me.” Genesis 16:13 I just got back from a woman’s conference. The Lord met me there in powerful ways and He gave me much to think about. One of the truths He reminded me of was the fact that He sees me. In my struggles, in my serving, in my strivings, in my circumstances, in my weakness, He sees. I am not lost to Him. He notices me and He chooses to come and meet me at the point of my need. This is how he did so last Friday.

I went to the True Woman conference with three ladies that are very dear to me. For the break-out sessions, we chose to go to different ones in order to learn different things and then share them with one another later. I went to Joni Eareckson Tada’s breakout session called “The God I Love: A Lifetime of Walking with Jesus.” I know she usually has much to saw about suffering and endurance and, since the Lord has been teaching me a lot about those subjects, I decided to see what she had to say.

The session started off with a give-a-away of a few of her books. Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who was interviewing her, would ask a question and then give a book to someone she saw who raised her hand. The second book she gave away was Joni’s book entitled A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God’s Sovereignty. Nancy said something like, “Raise your hand if you have a loved one who is suffering. If so this book will be very helpful for you.” Immediately, tears started flowing down my face as I thought about my mom and my sister. And they continued to flow during the rest of the session. I raised my hand, but nobody saw me. In fact, the lights were turned down very low and I sat near the back. This made me feel free to cry because, I thought to myself, no one sees me…or at least nobody that knows me does.

One of the many things the Lord has done in my heart over these past two years is make me very tender towards people who are suffering and hurting. While I used to hardly ever cry, now I feel like I cry at everything (not really, but it feels that way sometimes): couples struggling with infertility; aborted babies and the women who abort them; men struggling with pornography; miscarriages; terminal illness. The world has definitely gone wrong and the Father is giving me a heart of compassion like He has so that I can and will weep with those who weep.

As the session came to a close, we began singing the old, but beautiful hymn, “Man of Sorrows.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a lady coming toward me. She sat next to me, gave me a hug, and said, “I saw you raise your hand earlier. Do you have a loved one who is suffering?” I told her yes and told her who. She asked for my name and the names of my mom and sister in order to pray for us. Then she reached into her pocket, pulled out a $20 bill, handed it to me, and said, “Get whatever book you need.” When she left me, another lady came up to me and did the same thing. Then the Lord said to me, “I see you. It may be dark in here and you may not know anyone, but I see your tears. You are not lost to me.”

The Lord is merciful and gracious,slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8

Unexpected Provision

I loathe shopping. Absolutely loathe it. Yet it is one of those necessary evils of life. It goes against my value of efficiency and against my priorities. I am so bad that I don’t even work it into my budget. Jesus, of course, knows this, and sometimes He chooses to use shopping to grow my patience and sometimes He chooses to to use shopping as a way to glorify Himself. The latter is what happened recently.

As I mentioned in one of my last posts, my new job required me to get a new wardrobe. Skirts/dresses, dress shoes and pantyhose are the new order of the day. A couple of friends (both of whom are gifts from the Lord) allowed me to borrow some of their skirts to get me through my first couple of weeks. I eventually, though, sucked it up and went to the mall, dreading the time and number of stores I would have to visit in order to get what I needed. I first went to JC Penney’s and, apparently, they have an annual sale this time every year. With the Lord’s provision and kindness, I was able to buy several skirts for between $5 and $7. According to the receipt, I saved $260 (for real?!). AND I didn’t have to go to more than one store! A shopping trip that was efficient, thrifty and successful – definitely a gift from the Lord. I am so thankful that He cares about the little details in our lives and blesses in ways we might not expect (my lack of expecting probably just shows how small my faith is). The experience almost made me like shopping. Almost. :) But it definitely made me praise the Father, who gives me everything I need just as He promises.

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the Gentiles seek after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:31-33

Sitting Solo in the Stillness

I have started sitting outside at night in order to practice the discipline of being still before the Lord. I love the night symphony of birds and crickets as well as the steady flashes of lightening bugs. It is a different kind of silence. There is something about sitting under the open starry sky that helps me clear my thoughts in order to focus on the Lord and listen for His voice. I don't want to miss what He may have to say to me because I am too busy or self-focused or distracted or what-have-you.

I have mentioned that my sister and I are moving soon. I don't think I have ever been so excited about moving. :) It has been awesome (and fun) to watch the Lord provide furnishings for our new apartment before we even get there - a second bed, a love seat, a futon, floor lamps... My sister and I had only a bed to our name - which makes for a rather empty apartment - but now we have the whole place almost completely furnished! 

Summer Movie Review: The Soloist - 4.5 out of 5 stars

I have wanted to see this movie since I saw it at the rental store in Fredericktown last summer/fall, and my sister and I finally took the time to watch it a few weeks ago. It did not disappoint. The movie is based on a true story about a journalist (Robert Downey, Jr.) who discovers a homeless man (Jamie Foxx) with incredible musical talent. Downey thinks he has found the perfect story to cure his writer's block and, in the process, finds out that there is more to this man than meets the eye. This is one of those movies where the plot slowly develops, which I like because, most of the time, I like to watch things unfold (both in movies and in real life). The story line and acting are both really good and the writers do a great job of keeping the story on track (without adding unnecessary details). Plus, it had good music. Now, you may be wondering, why not give this movie a full 5 stars?  Well, let me just tell you. :) The movie had this weird color scene (like watching visualizations on a media player) that seemed to go on and on, which leaves the viewer wondering, "Why is this happening?" But, on the bright side, it's like a built in bathroom break. :)

The Sun is Shining and There is Hope for Me Again

This title is from another Third Day song called The Sun is Shining and it perfectly describes the past month and half or so of my life. I half been walking around in a sort of darkness with a downcast spirit, crying out to the Lord and waiting for Him to answer and guide me. My trip to Missouri last weekend was like a break from my life here in Louisville. I was able to briefly escape the spiritual warfare, responsibilities and decisions that were weighing heavily upon me. The Lord was so gracious to give me such relief in this valley as He gave me rest and times of refreshing in His Word. When I returned to Louisville, however, it was all waiting for me. For the first few days of the week, I faced discouragement from the moment I opened my eyes and every day felt like a trial. Jesus Christ is abundantly gracious, however, and met me where I was. I know that phrase is used a lot and I don't want to sound cliche, but it's true. He by His Holy Spirit would bring sermons, songs and verses to my mind and when I listened to them, they were exactly what I needed to hear. The sermons were from MH's Believe series. Through them God showed me that I wasn't expecting the best, I wasn't placing my faith in Him and I wasn't fully trusting Him. I was living as if Romans 8:28 were not true and if I was in control. In essence, I had shifted my focus off of my Maker and Savior and placed it on other things. In my quiet time with the Lord, I have been reading through Psalms and Proverbs. Each morning and evening, the Scriptures I read spoke directly to my circumstances and reminded me of the hope I had in Christ. Even the verses at the bottom of my journal pages (and I have been journaling A LOT lately) were exactly what I needed. The Lord used these various things to show me my sin, call me back to Him and bring me out of my distress. He was actively teaching me, answering me and holding on to me. This is GRACE. On Wednesday, He was faithful to answer my prayer to give me a verse (Lamentations 3:21-24) to wake up with to combat the discouragement of the devil. He has renewed my hope, faith and strength and lifted me up out of the darkness. Plus...the sun is shining. :)

Today, I have been basking in the overflow of God's grace and I have been overjoyed with His goodness and faithfulness. The lessons from God these past few weeks have been many and hard, but the Lord's grace is more than sufficient to meet my every need. At Rolling Fields, we have been going through the many names of God (ways He has revealed Himself and that describe His character). Each sermon has been so applicable and I have been hanging on to every word. God truly is all that I will ever need. This morning we focused on how God is the God who sanctifies us. The focus was primarily on the Sabbath Day and how that relates to us now. The really cool thing is that this morning, while I was getting ready for church, I was thinking about how I really wanted to clean my apartment. Sunday, however, is my only day off and I wasn't sure if I should clean on my "Sabbath" or not. I wanted to honor the Lord's command to keep a day set apart for Him, but I also didn't want to fall into legalism. This is exactly what the sermon was about. As with all things, it has to do with the heart. God has us set aside a day to focus on Him because we are so apt to forget Him in all our activities and busyness. Christ, however, fulfilled the Law for us and has freed us from the demands of the Law. So after hearing this sermon and talking to the preacher, I decided that it was okay for me to clean. I enjoy cleaning for the most part anyway and I did so while listening to music so that I could praise God while I scrubbed. It was awesome.

Also today, I decided to order a new computer. Because I have all my programs from my last one, I could buy a decent base computer at a good price (especially since there was a sale this weekend). I tried to talk Dell into giving me free shipping (I was $16 short of the minimum purchase), but to no avail. :) With the funds that my boss has collected for me, I will only spend about $200 out of pocket and I will have a better computer than what I had before. The Lord continues to bless. :)

I will end with this passage of Scripture that pretty much describes my life these past few weeks. It speaks of a man that went through hard times and the discipline of the Lord and how the Lord restored his hope. The Lord has done the same for me:

Lamentations 3:1-9, 16-27, 31-33 

I am the man who has seen affliction
under the rod of his wrath;
  he has driven and brought me
into darkness without any light;
  surely against me he turns his hand
again and again the whole day long.

He has made my flesh and my skin waste away;
he has broken my bones;
  he has besieged and enveloped me
with bitterness and tribulation;
  he has made me dwell in darkness
like the dead of long ago.

He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;
he has made my chains heavy;
  though I call and cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer;
  he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones;
he has made my paths crooked.

He has made my teeth grind on gravel,
and made me cower in ashes;
  my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
  so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the LORD.”

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
  My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
        BUT this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
  they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
  “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
  It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
  It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

For the Lord will not
cast off forever,
  but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
  for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men.