Prone to Wander

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. -Proverbs 3:5-6

This verse is one that God has used powerfully in my life since I began my walk with Him in high school, and it becomes dearer to me as time goes by. One of the most prominent and recurring sins in my life, one I have to die to daily, is my tendency to depend upon my own strength and wisdom (or lack thereof) rather than the Lord's. This has caused me unnecessary grief and axiety in the past. The Lord is gracious, however, and has been teaching me dependence on and trust in Him. Though the lesson has not been especially pleasant, I know that the result will be to my benefit and His glory for at "the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12:11). The Lord has been reminding me of Proverbs 3:5-6 quite a bit lately and boy do I need it. There are several situations in my life that I have been trying to take into my own hands...as if I have the means and ability to control them. How foolish I can be!

Lord God, I trust you with all of me. I do not know what lies ahead but I know that you are in control. Give me strength to rest in that truth and bring glory to Yourself as you light the path before me and I walk obediently in it. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

What Does the Future Hold?

Tonight there is a plump, golden moon hanging low in the sky. I just love when the moon looks majestic like this, reminding me that it is much larger than it seems.

I have been pondering lately the calling the Lord has put on my life. I surrendered to His call to serve Him overseas during the fall of 2003, but what does that look like? Since that time He has placed in me a heart for His work among the nations and for reaching unreached peoples for His Name. He has given me a supernatural love, in particular, for Hispanic people. As of late, however, the Lord has given me a love for a couple of other things; namely, the local church and the peoples of Russia. How do all these tie in together? Has God called me to serve Him overseas full-time or will I serve Him in some other sense? I know that the Lord will reveal all this in His time, but I am just wondering how it is all going to play out. All I know now is that I am supposed to be here studying at Southern. I look forward to whatever He has in store.

The Power of the Word

I woke up this morning to a lovely dusting of snow on the ground. I think this makes for the 3rd one this year. It makes all this nasty cold weather worth while. :)

I had a wonderful weekend at home. I didn't do anything terribly exciting...just hung out with people I care about. I was also able to take care of a few items of business which consisted of closing down my Fredericktown bank account (which was long over due seeing I haven't touched it in years), grabbing some of my childhood books for tutoring, and letting my dad look at my car (he drained out the old power steering fluid and replaced it with fresh fluid as a precautionary measure). On Sunday, of course, I went to my home church which was a blessing as usual. I had planned on going to check out the new AV campus, but changed my mind when my sister told me that our pastor was still aking people to wait. In turns out that I got to experience the multi-site "feel" anyway because both campuses Sunday morning watched the sermon via the screen. I will have to admit that I was prepared for this in advance. I had had a dream last week that I went to the AV campus and my pastor was there. This dream almost came true: he was there, but I wasn't. Anyway, after the first initial minutes of getting used to the idea of not having my pastor in person giving the sermon, my focus shifted to the message (which it needed to be). The message was very good. Through it God reminded me of all that He has forgiven for and still is forgiving me of...especially of self-sufficiency, something that He has been especially working on in my life lately. I was also convicted of not loving deeply and challendged to "love out of my comfort zone." I rarely open myself up to others which prevents my relationships from growing as deep as they could. What really stood out to me during the service was that even though the message was not "live," God still used it in a powerful way in my life and, I am sure, in the lives of others. I was reminded again, that the service is about the Lord, not the messenger or the presentation or the package the message comes in or anything else we may be apt to focus on...just the Lord Jesus Christ. He promises His Word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish all He intends (Isaiah 55:11). How glorious He is!
I was also reminded about this truth as I listened to some sermons in my car (5 to be exact). For some reason I had such a hunger to hear His truth preached in my ears. I listened to the 2 messages I have from Passion '07 and 3 from my home church. All of which God used to speak to me in fresh ways even though I have heard them all at least once before. Once again Isaiah 55:11. I thoroughly enjoy those long extended trips in the car...just me and the Lord and the open road. :)

School begins on Monday, the 28th. I have been off for almost 2 months. I think I am ready for it to begin...

Lot Excited

Guess who is going home this weekend?! :) This has been something I have been praying about for the last week or so, and I am so thankful that the Lord has worked everything out. I wanted to ty to go home before school starts on the 28th, and I also wanted to get some of the children's books at my house for tutoring, so I simply asked God to work things out if it was His will for me to head home. So He did. :) I didn't request off from work, but I wasn't scheduled to work this weekend at Bath & Body Works. This will be the first weekend I have had off since Thanksgiving. Isn't it just amazing how God works? I am so excited to see my family and church family.

The Lord has also worked out things regarding my car. A couple of weeks the power steering started making the most awful noise. My dad told me the power steering pump sounded like it was going bad. Great, I thought. I reminded God I didn't have any money (like He didn't already know), bought the pump with my credit card, and started looking for a cheap mechanic to install it. During that time, the noise faded away and now my car is running fine-like nothing ever happening. I can't explain it, my dad can't explain it...but I am so thankful that I serve a God, who not only created the universe out of nothing, but cares about the details of my life-like my transportation. With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

Most of all, I am very excited and exceedingly thankful for all that God has been teaching me about Himself and myself. He has been so gracious to me in opening up my understanding to His deep and beautiful truths. After much prayer and reading and exhortation from fellow brothers and sisters, I understand the Trinity better than ever. Don't get me wrong this doctrine is still a great mystery that will never be fully understood, but I believe I comprehend it better now, and for that I am truly grateful. Another thing that God is teaching me is that He is and I am not through Louie Giglio's book I Am Not But I Know I AM. Through that book I have been reminded of God's vast greatness and the importance of pointed to Christ and away from myself in all I do. It's not about me, but Christ. It's not because of me, but because of Christ. I am who I am because of Christ. "I am not but I know I AM." Furthermore, God has opened my eyes to myself...how I react to things/people, who I am because of Him, and areas that need to be submitted to Him. Sometimes I think I know myself, but then God lets me know otherwise (and often what He shows me is pretty scary).

"What we may need reminding of in our day is not that the knowledge of God is difficult to comprehend and to embrace—that’s more or less obvious—but that the knowledge of ourselves is just as difficult to comprehend and to embrace. Indeed, it may be more difficult, first, because a true knowledge of ourselves assumes a true knowledge of God, and, second, because we tend to think we do know ourselves, when, in fact, the depths or our condition are beyond our comprehension without the help of God." -John Piper

On the agenda today: helping Sarah paint the children's room at her church and Coldstone ice cream in celebration of Melissa's birthday. YUM. :)

Little Excited

From the title I guess you can tell that I am excited about something and I have good reason to be...my sister is coming to Louisville!!! She is coming with her boyfriend and our friend Scott to attend the Give Me an Anwer Conference this February. What a blessing! :)

Also, yesterday while I was on campus spending some spare time reading before meeting a friend, I ran into some of my favorite on-campus people. It was totally unplanned (by me anyways), but such a nice surprise from the Lord. Then, afterwards, I was able to hang out with some more of my favorite people (this time planned) as well as meet new ones as we bonded over food and the movie The Princess Bride.

This break has been so refreshing. I have been able to refocus my mind on the Lord and His Word as well as do a lot of reading, which for me, feeds and refreshes my spirit. I just finished Louie Giglio's book The Air I Breathe. It really challenged me in the way I worship and spend my time. This quote in particular stood out to me:

"Maybe you're a passionate lover of God, but frustrated by the presence of little idols you've kept around far too long."

Wow. I couldn't have stated it better myself. The Lord is revealing these 'little idols' to me and opening my eyes to His inifinte worth. How glorious and gracious my Lord is!
Yesterday, I began Louie's other book, I Am Not But I Know I AM. So far God has used this book to remind me of my own insignificance (apart from the Lord) as well as Christ's surpassing greatness and power. I praise God for books like these and authors like him.

From Whence Comes Evil?

Lately, I have been reading about the origin of evil. Most of my reading has come from Piper sermons and various scriptural references. This is not a topic that consumes me but it has captured my attention as of late. I believe that God is sovereign over all things and the creator of all things and that nothing occurs without His permission and ordination. His relation to the existence of evil, however, is where the lines start getting fuzzy. As I began pondering these things, I stumbled across some Piper sermons sitting in my inbox that I have ignored due to the lack of time. (I just love the way God lays a certain topic on your heart and then brings about the means to learn more about it!) Everything God created was perfect and good (as Genesis chapter 1 declares), but He created some creatures (i.e. angels and humans) with the potential to do and choose evil and even permitted them/us to do so. As Piper points out, the sufferings of Christ was determined before the world began (Ephesians 1:4, 2 Timothy 1:9, 1 Peter 1:20). He also states that God allowed evil to show forth the glory of Christ more brightly (see this sermon for more on that). I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone reading this-the lines are still a little blurry to me-but I take great comfort and peace knowing that the Lord Jesus Christ is in control of all things.

Other reading I have been doing:

1. I read Transformation and Glocalization (4 stars). I enjoyed these books and believe the author has a lot of good things to say regarding the church and missions. I do wish he would have provided more concrete examples, though. I also loved his emphasis on the Kingdom. He seemed to have a very God-focused theology which I thoroughly appreciated.

2. I also read Just Walk Across the Room (2 stars). I was pretty disappointed with this book. I did enjoy the stories of changed lives and the concept behind the book (take the initiative to build a relationship with a total stranger in the name of Christ), and I liked his emphasis on depending totally on the Holy Spirit, but I got annoyed with his perspective on a few things. My response is two-fold: first, although we should love and accept people, we cannot lose sight of sin and repentance. In order for people to see the worth of the Savior, they must understand their need for Him. Second, while acts of kindness are good and necessary to open doors and soften hearts, true evangelism does not occur until we speak the Gospel. As one of my professors Dr. Lawless said, "Evangelism is no less than the telling of the Gospel." The thing that bothered me most, however, was that the author kept referring to unbelievers as 'children of God,' a term (as far as I know anyway) that is only used for those who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am being harsh? I feel like I am...

3. I am currently reading The Air I Breathe. It is about worship-what worship is, how we are created to worship, and how everyone is worshiping something. I am halfway through and I really like it so far.

Updates: I began tutoring last week. I think it is going well. Also, Bath & Body Works asked me if I wanted to stay once seasonal employment ends. Yay! Praise the Lord! One more thing: I am having to deal with a couple of things that I would like prayer for...

Prepare to Launch in 4, 3, 2, 1...

This weekend has been a long awaited one for my home church and it has been much on my heart and mind lately. We are going multi-site in the neighboring town of Arcadia Valley. This is a vision God has given us and we have been praying, trusting, and working towards it for a while now and it is finally about to become a reality. I am a little sad that I am not there for all the excitement, but even though I am not there physically, I still feel much apart of it. This feeling of connectedness is definitely a gift from God and I am very thankful for it. For anyone that happens to stumble across this blog post between now and this Sunday, January 6th, please join with me in prayer. Please pray these things specifically:
1. Unity-that the people of Meadow Heights will be of one mind and one purpose, and that the devil will have no foothold to cause division
2. Humilty-God is doing amazing things through our church and it would be easy to think much of ourselves
3. Wisdom-for the leaders and staff who are leading the charge and making final preparations for this weekend's 7 (!!!) services
4. Focus-that our eyes will be on the Lord Jesus and we will be attentive and obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit
5. Protection-we have a real enemy and he will do whatever he can to prevent us from shining the Light into the darkness
6. Most of all, that God will be lifted high and lives will be transformed!!!
What an amazing adventure the Lord has led Meadow Heights on. I am so thankful to be a part of it. I have witnessed such amazing things and know there is much more to come as we, as a church family, follow God into the Unkown.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." -Ephesians 3:20-21