Like an Ewe

My name in its original Hebrew form (left) literally means “ewe” or “female sheep.” My roommate in college was aware of this fact, so one of her many nicknames for me was Lamb.

The Lord has confronted me on several occasions this week with passages dealing with sheep and shepherds (John 10 and 1 Peter 5). Jesus Christ is the Great Shepherd and His people are His flock. If you look at the characteristics of a sheep, it isn’t exactly a compliment that Jesus likens us to them. They are smelly, not very attractive, stubborn, dependent, vulnerable, helpless, stupid, oblivious and prone to wander. Sheep need a leader. They need guidance. We are the same way. Jesus knew what He was talking about.

This has got me thinking about how much I live up to my name. As much I would like to think that I am independent and as much as my past reveals that I try to live in that manner, I am not independent. I just live in the illusion that I am. In fact, I am a very dependent creature. Dependent upon the life that God gave me. Dependent upon Him to give me this next breath. Dependent upon Him to sustain me. The truth is I am nothing without Jesus Christ. I need His discipline, His guidance, HIM daily. And not only that, but I need others as well. I need the body of Christ for accountability, encouragement, rebuke and fellowship. This is probably why the Lord has been breaking me over this period of time. Sometimes shepherds have to break the legs of the lambs to keep them near to them and sometimes the Good Shepherd needs to break the legs of His people to teach them the same. This process is painful for both the Shepherd and the sheep, but it is necessary and He does it because He loves His sheep.

Another reason, I need to be broken is that I am prone to wander. I often exhibit signs of spiritual ADD. Whether people or events or trials or blessings, it is easy for me to lose sight of Christ and focus on these other things. So true is the song:

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. Come Thou Fount

That’s been my exact problem lately. I have been wandering and wondering and wavering, not trusting the Lord or believing He is willing to work everything out for good (Romans 8:28). But Jesus Christ knows how to tend His sheep. Despite my stubbornness and lack of faith, He has been faithfully chasing after me through Scripture, sermons and other people, convicting me of my unbelief and sin and reminding me of His great love and unfailing providence. He is working in every detail of my life for His sovereign purposes. I believe this again. :)

Another way I fulfill my name is that I am quite vulnerable. Now I didn’t use to think so, but I think my time overseas and the awareness of what is going on in the world has made me realize how vulnerable I am as a woman in particular and as a human being in general. The Apostle James says we are vapors (James 4:14) and it’s true. It really doesn’t take much to snuff out our lives. We could be gone in an instant. Sheep are vulnerable as well. They are easy prey for wolves (no wonder wolves give me the willies!) and wild cats and whatever else is big and hungry. They can’t run fast. They can’t help get up after they’ve fallen on their backs. They are completely helpless. This is why they need a shepherd! And this is why we need a Shepherd. The Bible declares that our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). The sheep of Christ are his main target, but we need not fear. Jesus Christ says that no one can snatch His sheep from His hand (John 10:28). He perfectly protects His sheep.

Below is a quote from Jim Elliot that my sister sent me almost three years ago when I was going through a rough time. I keep it in my Bible and pull it out every once in a while and read it. The Lord speaks to me through it every time. This is what the correct fulfillment of my name looks like and it's something for which I strive.

Dearest [Rachel], I charge you in the name of our Unfailing Friend, do away with all waverings, bewilderment, and wonder. You have bargained for a cross. Overcome anything in the confidence of your union with Him, so that contemplating trial, enduring persecution or loneliness, you may know the blessings of the “joy set before.” “We are the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.” And what are sheep doing going into the gate? What is their purpose inside those courts? To bleat melodies and enjoy the company of the flock? No. These sheep were destined for the altar. Their pasture feeding had been for one purpose, to test them and fatten them for bloody sacrifice. Give Him thanks then that you have been counted worthy of His altars. Enter into the work with praise. Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty, Scripture from Psalm 100