Lessons Learned in the Dark : Waiting

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25-26

Patience is not my strong suit. I value efficiency, speed and progress; therefore, I do not like to wait. Patience, though, is a virtue, but even more than that it is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Impatience is a sin I often have to repent of, and since I long to be like Christ, who is perfect in patience, I asked Him to “give” me patience. Jesus was pleased to answer that request by greatly testing and growing me in this area of my life. There are many areas of my life where He has been silent. He keeps telling me to wait—for what I do not know and for how long He hasn’t said. But the word is firm: wait.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 27:14

Waiting takes courage; it’s not easy. Now waiting when I can see progress happening, when I can see Him at work, is no big deal to me. I could wait forever like that. But waiting when God is silent, when I can’t see Him working, when I can’t see the next step, when all around me is dark, is a whole different story. That kind of waiting is extremely hard and painful and requires a lot of trust and faith in the One who is sovereign over all things.

But when I hoped for good, evil came, and when I waited for light, darkness came. My inward parts are in turmoil and never still; days of affliction come to meet me. I go about darkened, but not by the sun; I stand up in the assembly and cry for help. Job 30:26-28

One area of my life in which He has been silent, but is now starting to allow me to see a little bit of progress, is my future overseas. For almost a year, I have waited for the next step in the application process with the international company I am interested in serving with. Besides that, I have been waiting for the Lord to confirm what organization to even go with – this one or some other one. Both finally came last weekend when I attended a conference and, while there, had my second of three interviews. The Lord was ever so gracious to allow me to sense His presence and leading as well as the prayers of the many people who were interceding for me. I knew I was right where He wanted me (a sense I haven’t “felt” for a long time”) and by the end of the conference knew that He wanted me to continue the application process with this company. It is so exciting to see a little progress in this area of my life again!

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Micah 7:7

The conference was such a blessing and was so encouraging. Through it, I met some amazing people and I learned more about the company itself. I also learned about the vast amount of people who have yet to hear the name of Christ—billions and billions of faces that live in darkness apart from the saving light of Christ, but I was struck by the fact that God knows each person’s face and name and longs for them to hear His gospel. He has sons and daughters among those billions and He knows exactly who they are (Matthew 9:37; Acts 18:10; 2 Timothy 2:19). Most of these people are concentrated in Asia, the continent I am most interested in serving on. The more I learned about the different regions, though, the more my heart grew for all of them (which makes sense because God has a heart for and desires every nation). I was originally supposed to choose two breakout sessions in which to learn more about specific regions, but God opened the door for me to attend three and then I got to have lunch with the leader from a fourth region. I am still not sure where in Asia (East & South are the front-runners), but I am encouraged just the same that the Lord has shone a little light on my path.

Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

What’s next? More waiting. I should hear back from the company in a month or so if they want to proceed with me or not. In the meantime, I will continue to trust and obey. If there is one thing I have learned through all this it is that the Lord knows when I should be overseas. I won’t get their too early or too late, but at just the right time. He is sovereign over all things and has me exactly where He wants me—in Louisville, Kentucky. But regardless if I have to wait a year or twenty years (though I hope not!) before this calling is realized, Jesus Christ is worth it. He is worth the pain and the silence and the mundane and the wait because this is all for Him anyway. At the end of the day, it won’t be about what I did or did not do, or where I invested my life, but about my faith and trust in Christ. Not to say that truth makes waiting any easier. My strength and my heart will fail; I will grow weary, but Jesus promises to be the strength of my heart as I wait on Him and my Portion forever (Psalm 73:26).

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God?” Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow weary or faint [like I do!]; His understand is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and grow weary, and young men [and women] shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord will renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:27-31