Good as New

Remember how I wrecked my car? Well, she looks better than ever now! :)

Also, God provided me and my roommate with an apartment! It is such an answer to prayer: affordable, no lease required and in the neighborhood we wanted to live. Plus, it is partially furnished. I am also very excited that I will be able to unpack my car (where everything I brought has stayed while I have been in transition). The clutter has been driving me crazy. The rest of my stuff is still in Missouri, which I plan on getting (Lord willing) when I pick up my sister in a few weeks. She is coming to visit me for a month.

My "house parents" are currently gone (to South America actually). I am fish-sitting for them. Speaking of which...

(I just fed the fish. I almost forgot. Good thing I like to share useless information on my blog).

This past weekend was a big event at my home church. I almost went home to be a part of it, but didn't for various reasons. It turns at that Jesus had some divine appointments for me here. One included a meeting with Him and my RF family for a night of worship at a Rehab Center.

Apparently there is this conference that occurs every year called The Summit. This year they are focusing on South Asians (yay!). I am praying about going. I really want to but it is $$$. So we'll see...

Speaking of South Asia, I miss it a LOT (specifically, the people there). I have been dreaming about the future and wondering if God will send me back and what it will look like if He does. I am really interested in advocacy type ministries like Not for Sale and A21. My class on Community Development and Disaster Relief has really got me thinking and I am really excited about what's in store (because God's dreams are so much bigger and better than mine!).

One last thought. I have noticed since my return to the States that I have been (or at least my desire to be) anti-social. Now, I am no social butterfly to begin with, but I have this constant desire to be alone (remnants of reverse culture shock maybe?). I am not sure what the deal is...but, with God's grace, I am working on it. Last weekend I went to a couple's house from church where we ate authentic Chinese and played badminton. This weekend I was invited to a back-to-school gathering and a labor day lunch. My initial reaction to all of them was "no". But I decided to bust out of my anti-social shell and do them all.

Classes!

Today was my first day of classes (have I mentioned this is my last semester?!). I am so excited that classes have started and look forward to what God will teach me through them. I feel like I am finally back into the swing of things. God is still doing some serious and painful work in me, but today was one of the best days I have had since returning to the States. I am currently staying with some friends while I look for an apartment. Another friend and I hope to move into a complex near South Asians.

Over the past few days, the Lord has bombarded me with a particular passage of Scripture. I have heard or read it from the sermon at RF, my small group, my theology book, a book on the Holy Spirit, and a book called The Cry of the Urban Poor. It also "happened" to be part of my daily reading plan and it was the passage my Ethics professor read before class started. I am not sure exactly what God is trying to tell me, but He definitely has my attention. The passage is Luke 4: 14-21 (ESV):

And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country. And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified by all. And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.”

Broken

That is the word that describes the events since I have been home and how I have felt because of them. Relationships, cars, health, bodies, phones...they have reminded me continually of the brokenness of this world and our desperate need for Jesus, the only Restorer and Healer. Despite everything, though, God is so good and so faithful. He always brings His Word and His Truth at just the right time. Last Thursday and Friday, I had the opportunity and privilege to attend the Global Leadership Summit hosted via satellite in Cape. Jason Mac was so gracious to invite my sister and I to attend as well as pay our way. I am so humbled and blown away by his willingness to invest in our leadership despite the fact that MH will probably benefit little from it since my sister and I are usually out of town. This was all arranged by God, no doubt, because the conference was just what I needed. It encouraged, inspired and challenged me…and met me right where I am.


One speaker Jeff Manion talked about “The Land in Between,” which was the title of his message as well as the title of his book. The Land in Between is when you are in a state of transition. He used the example of the Israelites who were wandering in the desert on their way to the Promised Land from Egypt (Numbers 11). I am transitioning between living and serving in South Asia and going back to school in Louisville. Even though this is a dry time in life, it is still fertile ground for things to grow. Manion named four things that can grow. One is grumbling and complaining (check—even though I haven’t been doing so vocally, I have been inwardly). Another is having a meltdown (check check). The third and fourth are more positive: God’s provision and God’s discipline. I cannot even recount all the ways God has provided through these trying times. His hand has been so clearly evident showing that He is always in control, redeeming these events for His glory and my good (Romans 8:28). For instance, on the eve on the night when I was supposed to head to Louisville, my car’s battery died. We quickly replaced that (for 50 cents, praise Jesus) and then immediately afterwards the belt tensioner broke (it holds the belt in place and keeps it tight). This very well could have happened on the road or when I was in Louisville. Needless to say, I stayed an extra day in F’town because of the repairs and headed to Louisville on Wednesday.

God’s discipline is a little harder to put my finger on, but I know that this is all to make me more like Jesus Christ. One thing is for sure, if not for all of these things that have completely overwhelmed me and sent me running into the arms of my Savior, I would have fallen into my default mode of self-sufficiency. God, however, would not even give me the chance. Since my return, He has been reminding me of how much I need Him…every moment of every day. He is the reason I live and move and breathe (Acts 17:28). Every good thing I have or am comes from Him (James 1:17). He is too gracious to allow me to become too comfortable and so He has been giving me more than I can handle so that I will trust Him more. It's working.

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all (Psalm 34:17-19).

His Grace is Sufficient

The Lord has been showing me lately how much I am dependent on His grace and how He is always sovereignly at work even when I fail to realize it. My family has been hit hard recently with various trials, but each portray the sovereign  hand of my most loving and gracious Savior, Jesus Christ.

On such event occurred last Sunday when the brakes went out on my car (not related to the wreck) while my mom was driving. It just so "happened," however, that they went out at the exact moment my mom put my car in park in front of our house. Do you see the grace of Christ in that? One moment longer in town and she would not have been so fortunate, but He orchestrated events in such a way that both she and my sister arrived safely home. What protection! What grace!

My dad told me of a guy who said, "I ask for God's favor and help when going into a situation and then proceed as if it all depended on me." How foolish. Who gave him his breath, his abilities, his resources? What does he have that didn't come from God? Can this man forsee the future or know the wisest decision in every situation? No. He (and we) must depend upon God every step of the way. For "in Him, we live and move and have our being."

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Week One in the States

I have been home for a little over a week now. My first experience of "culture shock" came in the Newark airport restroom. I forgot that automatic flushing toilets existed and was quite startled when I encountered one. :) For the most part, this past week has been a pretty rough one spiritually and emotionally as I adjust to an entirely different pace of life and struggle to find a nice balance between my life overseas and my life here. To add to this, a good friend and mentor passed away a few days after I returned. I attended a memorial service yesterday where we celebrated his life. After the service, I rear-ended someone. The people I hit and their vehicle (a truck) are fine, but my car received some damage. A fitting end to what had been a rough week...

It hasn't been all bad though. I have been able to see lots of familiar faces at church and a family reunion. Plus my family took me to Scoops - the new frozen custard joint in town - on my first day back. The next day Kristi and I went to Fredericktown's new (and very nice) McDonald's to read God's Word. I have been on lots of walks, enjoying the beautiful countryside of the States. I also watched the final season of LOST. It was as crazy and mind-bending as ever, but I thoroughly enjoyed it...and it provided a nice escape from reality. This morning I went to the much dreaded dentist office. Praise be to God that my gums held their own during my seven month hiatus (I usually go every three months).

Home is Where God's Will Is

So I am on my way to debriefing, hanging out in the airport waiting for my next flight. John Denver's Leaving on a Jet Plane has been playing in the background of my mine all morning, and the lyrics mean more now than they ever did. This part of the world has been my home for the last six months and I am sad to leave it. I have learned, however, over the last several years to make wherever I am my home, knowing that it is only temporary. The Bible tells us believers that this world is not our home (Hebrews 13:14). This life is only temporary and our true home awaits us in heaven with God. Christ Himself has gone before us to prepare a place for us there (John 14:2-3). So often we forget this truth. We strive to settle down and live a comfortable, self-sufficient life - the American Dream. God has not called us to settle, though. His command is to GO - to always be ready to to follow Him whenever and to wherever He calls. In the book of Genesis, God commanded the people to spread out over the earth and multiply. He wanted (and still wants) to fill the earth with worshipers of Himself. The people, however, didn't listen. They did the opposite of what God commanded, by coming together to make a name for themselves. They wanted to be independent of God, self-reliant, safe and comfortable. Isn't that what the American Dream is? God, however, has called us to something better - His Dream. His plan is for all people groups to know Him, their Creator; for them to hear about the saving work of Jesus Christ, their Savior; to save them from an eternity separated from Him in hell; and to give them everlasting joy by giving them the gift of Himself. The plan of God will not be thwarted. He will accomplish it with or without us, but He does invite us to join Him. He has given us two choices: we can choose our own path apart from Christ (which ends in destruction) or we can choose the path God shows us which gives us life...life to the full (John 10:10). So, I urge you with the words of Louie Giglio, "pack up the American Dream and exchange it for a part in God's global story" - the story of His mind-bending plan of rescuing the nations from sin and death by spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ so that all may know Him.

Days Go By...

Sunday is my last day in this country - with the girls, with my newfound friends and family...where did the time go? I have been avoiding thinking about leaving, but I can't anymore. I have to think about how I am going to spend my last few days here, who I am going to see, saying goodbye, packing... I haven't even left yet and I am so ready ready to return. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about seeing those I love and care about in the States, but I dread the thought of leaving everyone here. I know, however, that going back to America is God's will and I completely trust Him.

While there isn't much I miss about the States, living here has made me appreciate a few things about my native country that I used to take for granted:
1. order and structure
2. efficiency
3. (enforced) traffic laws
4. sidewalks
5. politeness (thank you, please, etc)
No culture, of course, is perfect. There are some things I absolutely hate about this culture, but then there are things I really love. Much of it, I am really going to miss. Especially the 36 smiling faces I got used to seeing almost every day: