Weddings and a Funeral

A lot has changed in my family in the past year. There have been some very joyous occasions, but also some very heart-wrenching ones. All of which were determined and designed by a loving God (Job 2:10; Romans 8:28). My sister and I both got engaged earlier this year. I got married a month ago yesterday and she gets married a month from tomorrow. Yesterday also marked two weeks since I moved to Pittsburgh with my new husband. It's been a whirlwind to say the least.

But while we did gain two new members to our family, a year ago today, we also lost one - the pain of which can still be keenly felt. Even though I have tried not to dwell on the memories leading up to my dad's death, everything within me has been very aware that the anniversary of his passing was coming. He started appearing in my dreams two weeks ago, which is probably why I haven't been sleeping well, and there have been so many things that remind me of him. I can't help but reflect back to this time last year as he slowing slipped away...The emotions and memories of which are still very real and raw.

It was hard not having my dad at my wedding. It was hard to have someone else walk me down the aisle and give me away (although I am very thankful that my uncle, my dad's brother, did). It was hard not to have my dad involved in the details and days leading up to the wedding and the move, and it's hard that he will never get to meet Daniel.

Sarah Ayer Photography

But God's grace is sufficient for these things. He helped me find ways to remember and honor my dad in the midst of his absence. I was able to work through some of these emotions the weekend before the wedding, and the Lord filled me with His perfect peace the day of the wedding so that I was not battling sorrow in the midst of the joy. I wrote a poem for my dad for my wedding. It was a way to express what I was feeling and to remind myself of the Hope that both his death and my wedding point to:

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" (Revelation 21:3-5).

In Loving Memory of Gary Lynn Hovis 

(June 23, 1953 - September 3, 2013)

I wish you were here, Dad,

to experience this day

to walk me down the aisle,

and to give me away.

I wish you were here, Dad,

your presence in this place,

so we could dance at the reception,

so I could kiss your face.

But God in his goodness, Dad, (Psalm 119:68)

took you Home to be with Him (2 Corinthians 5:8)

So we trust God for His wisdom

when our understanding's dim. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I know you're worshiping with us, Dad,

with the rest of the saints above (Hebrews 12:23)

as we magnify the Lord Jesus

and celebrate His love. 

You won’t return to me, Dad,

but I will go to you. (2 Samuel 2:23)

And then we’ll celebrate together

the Wedding this day looks forward to. (Revelation 19:6-8)

Sarah Ayer Photography