July in MO: Week 2

I finished A Call to Die yesterday. The Lord has used that book to show me what areas of my life I still need to die to...and there are many. God is gracious, though, and I am thankful that He doesn't give up on me. I also started a book last week called Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper. The book is very challenging and inspiring. I am always amazed at how God uses no-name people to do amazing things for Him. This theme runs with last week's church service where a lady shared her testimony of how God called and uses her as a vessel to transform the lives of prison inmates. I need to hear/read these things. I have been presented with several opportunities where I can serve Christ in the Louisville community this fall. I have been hesitant to pursue them because I am doubtful of the impact that I could make. God is reminding me, however, that He is the one that will make the impact. My confidence should be in Him and not myself. I am nothing, but He is everything. I am to simply obey Him and follow Him wherever He leads me. The new message series at church is about leadership and I am pretty excited about it.

My family and I have started an 1000 piece puzzle. It is rather nightmare-ish I am not going to lie but we have made a considerable dent in it once we finally got the border finished.

I have been thinking of ways that I can serve while I am home and the Lord revealed to me that I can serve Him by finding ways to serve my family. Isn't it amazing how there are opportunities to serve right under our noses but we fail to recognize them?

My sister and I had lunch with some unbelieving family members last week. We plan on getting together a few more times with them before I leave. I am praying for the opportunity to share Christ with them. We have tentative plans to take them to St. Louis this Wednesday (Lord willing).

My mom has been sick since yesterday. Please pray for her. My dad just took her to the ER. She is having pains in her lower stomach and hasn't slept or ate much in the last day and a half. I hate that she suffers so much (Romans 8:18).

July in MO: Week 1

I am home now. It has been a nice change of pace...sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. I have slowly been clearing out and cleaning my room and closet. It has become a sort of a storage area while I have been away and when I came back with my stuff there was literally now room to walk around. Well, four days, six trash bags and a trunk load of items for Good Will later, I am finished! It is still crowded in my room, but there is much more walking space and organization (which means a lot less stress for me).

Kristi and I have started reading The Count of Monte Cristo together. I haven't read it since high school so it is very fresh to me. We have also been working out together. I am not sure if she thinks it is fun (especially at 7:00 in the morning), but I enjoy it.

I have taken over the cooking responsibilities for the month. I am not sure my parents know what to think since I have been switching up the menu on them. I made beef stroganoff from scratch last night and my dad was like, "this doesn't taste like Hamburger Helper [from the box]." Exactly.

The Lord allowed me to experience His presence last Sunday during church and also during my evening quiet time for the first time in what seems like forever. I cannot even describe what a blessing that is.

I have a dentist appointment today. Dread. Please pray for me.

Silent Provision

The Lord reminded me last Sunday of how self-reliant I am. He needs to break me and I prayed that He would. I have been working my tail off trying to pay off my credit card debt (that I acquired because of my pride last year), but He revealed to me that in doing so I have been relying on myself. I once again gave Him my debt and other things that I think I can fix/control. I told Him I didn't know how but I knew He would provide. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from a scholarship foundation telling me that I have been awarded a $1000 scholarship for this fall. I guess that means I don't need the the loan I took out anymore. :) God always provides in His way and His time. Why do I doubt Him? It's like an addiction. "Hi my name is Rachel and I'm a self-reliant sinner. It has been two days since I surrendered everything to God."

The Lord has also provided me with a roommate and apartment. How amazing is that? I was determined not to even think about where I was going to live but a friend of mine called me and asked about my living arrangements for the fall. She said that I had "come to mind" when she was thinking about possible roommates. The Lord then put it in my mind to look at The Towers magazine for apartment ads and boom! It's settled. We both have a place to live (only about a mile from campus and 4 from work I might add :).

Several opportunities to serve the Lord have surfaced over the past month. I have been praying for a way to serve outside the church walls and the Lord has brought some ways to light. I am praying for His leadership so I do not overload myself this fall, but I am very excited about what He has in store!

All of these answered prayers and blessings are bittersweet. The Lord has been taking me through a dark time spiritually by withdrawing from me. I have been clinging to His promises, but it has been extremely difficult. He has been silent towards me. I do not sense His presence. I think (because the Lord has inclined His ear to me as of late) and hope this time of testing is almost over. I want His sweet fellowship again!

I go home this Friday for a WHOLE MONTH!

[Title Goes Here]

Last Sunday I visited William Branham's church in Jeffersonville, Indiana. It has been something I have been wanting to do ever since I discovered his influence on some of my family members. The class I am taking this summer (starts tomorrow actually) requires me to attend such a church so I seized the opportunity. When I was considering a date to attend, the Lord laid it on my heart to go last Sunday. I was very nervous because I did not know what to expect (I now have a new appreciation for unbelievers who visit a church for the first time). Knowing that Branhamism has Pentecostical roots, I wore a long skirt and prayed that the Lord would lead me to a young lady who I could befriend. The service started with prayer and hymnal singing. We then heard the "thought" for the morning, which I thought was the sermon at first. The pastor spoke for 20 minutes or so quoting Brother Branham as well passages from the Bible. We then sung some more and then listened to the sermon. When I say listened, I do mean listened. The sermon was an audio recording of Brother Branham himself (he died in 1965) preaching from Matthew 21 (The Triumphal Entry) regarding the identity of Jesus Christ. This is exactly what I wanted to know: who they believe Jesus Christ is. They definitely have a high view of Christ. They believe He is more than a Good Man, Prophet and Healer--that He is God in the flesh. They also believe He is the only way to God. These are very good and very true points. There are some other things, however, that rose a red flag in my mind: Branham is the forerunner of Christ's 2nd coming, the Holy Spirit is the forerunner of Christ's second coming, God sent Branham to teach true baptism (Jesus Name only) and "the fuller revelation." The Lord answered my prayer by leading me to meet a very friendly young woman who has agreed to let me interview her. This young lady also "happens" to be Brother Branham's great granddaughter (of course, Lord!). My attempts at the proper dress failed miserably as the pastor spoke against slits in skirts...my not only had one but two! Apparently, I am a scandalous woman. I was a little mortified to say the least. Anyway, I have really been struggling with all this: are these people (and some of my family members) saved? How can they love and know Jesus so well and God not lead them into the Truth? Why doesn't God show them the errors of these teachings? Why did God bless Branham's ministry and do healing miracles through Him? What if Branham is right? As I have been praying and agonizing over these questions this week, the Lord has not left me to the wind. He is faithful. The morning I went to Branham's church I listened to a message online called "What is Truth?" Very timely (as usual coming from our Awesome God!). Also, this week in a book I am reading from my class, I kept running across this statement: Jesus Christ is God's final revelation. This statement was culminated for me this morning in the sermon I heard at a friend's church I attended (I didn't know I was even going there until last night, but God knew I needed to be there!). They are going through a series on the Trinity and today was about God the Son (the same topic covered in the Branham sermon). Jesus is not only God in the flesh but He is God's final revelation of Himself. God used to speak through prophets and angels but now He speaks to us by His Son (Hebrews 1:1-2). There is no longer a need for prophets (Branham is a self-declared prophet) or angelic visions (Branham received revelations from an angel) because Jesus is all we need. I am still struggling with all this but I trust that God will continue to lead me into truth (John 16:13).

Through all of this, God has shown me how vulnerable baby Christians are. Like babies, new Christians trust and copy those who lead and guide them. They absorb everything they are taught and it shapes who they become as believers just as children absorb everything they learn from their parents. How important it is for them to be among strong, faithful Christians who are true to God's Word! I am so thankful for the godly leaders God has placed in my life. If you are reading this and have had some type of godly influence on my life, know that God has used you to save me from false teaching. It is only by God's grace that I know the Truth now and I am not caught up in Branhamism. Hebrews 13:7 has become such a precious verse to me for this very reason. The people God has placed in my life - pastors, professors and strong Christian friends - have challenged, guided, taught and corrected me to keep me focused on my Savior and to keep me on the right path. As the following verse says (13:8), "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." He is the final Truth and He doesn't change. Therefore, those who correctly teach His way should teach Him and His truths and live as He did. I am very blessed to know such leaders and thank my God for them.

Aside: I just started the book A Call to Die by David Nasser. I have been wanting to read it for a while now, and the Lord pressed it upon my heart to do so this summer. I just read the first devotional and realized that I am more selfish than I thought. I have a lot of dying to myself to do.

Also, my sister leaves for Romania is two days! Please pray that she would not be anxious, that the Lord would keep her safe, that God would use this experience to draw herself closer to Him and that she and the team she is with will lead many people to a saving relationsihp with Jesus Christ.

A Closed Door and a New Direction

Last week was a extremely hard week emotionally and spiritually. Several factors played into this: missing Sarah, numerous mistakes at work and news regarding my application to serve in South America. Regarding the latter, I had been working under the assumption that no news was good news and trying to be patient knowing that those looking over my application were very busy. My assumption, however, was wrong. I called about my application early last week and after several rounds of phone tag, was eventually told that I was on a waiting list. Due to the number of applicants, there were only 4 spots available (all in East Asia). I was then told that I had to make my decision by the following day: I could either go to East Asia in six weeks or defer my application. I prayed about it that night, but the Lord was silent. When the next day came, I still had no idea what to do nor did I understand what the Lord was doing. I read through the job descriptions for the opportunities in East Asia but none seemed to "fit" my God-given gifts and passions. Still the Lord was silent. I had previously told the Lord that I would pursue this opportunity until He shut the door (though I thought He would have done so much sooner than this!). I decided to go ahead and defer my application to the spring 2010 semester. I am extremly disappointed but know that the Lord has a reason for all this. I was reminded by fellow Christ-followers that no step of faith goes unrewarded, that God is still in control, that He knows the plans He has for me and that God calls me to be submissive to Him. These are all things I needed to hear. The truth is that I had lost my focus. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I was focusing on myself and my immediate circumstances. No wonder I had a rough week! BUT when I took time to dive intently into His Word and focus my eyes on Christ, His peace replaced my anxiety and His love melted my obstinate heart. Psalm 25 became the prayer of the hour and God used Isaiah 54-55 to speak His truth into my heart. Even though I felt alone, I wasn't and, as usual, God came to my rescue and comfort.

With this new change in plans (or rather MY plans), I have new things to think and pray about: like what classes to take this fall (or possibly even take a break from seminary), what ministries to become involved in and my living arrangements for Aug-Dec. My plans for the summer are still the same. I move out of my apartment at the end of the week into a friend's apartment. I will stay there through the month of June and then go home for the month of July (which I am so looking forward to; I desparately need the change of scenery!). The Lord has been gracious, however, in already providing me with living options over the past few days. Please pray for me as I learn more about these opportunities - that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading.

"My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins...Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You...Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame...for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long." (Psalm 15-18, 20, 3, 5)

Here, There, Everywhere

Last weekend I moved most of my stuff home to Missouri. Sarah went with me and got her first taste of small town life. What's more is that the Azalea Festival was last weekend, so she couldn't have visited at a better time. We took her to her first truck pull and car show, as well as to The Pig (our local food joint).

This weekend we are in Alabama moving her stuff into her mom's house in Huntsville. We just arrived a few hours ago. We drove separately (she in her mom's van and me in a borrowed CHEVY truck) which was a little sad, but I had some much needed time with the Lord. The last month or so has been so hectic that I have had very few extended times alone with Jesus. It was so great to be able to talk to Him. He laid several people on my heart to pray for, many of whom are having to make big decisions/life changes. I am very thankful for that time, but I am also thankful the trip is over. The Sweet Tea I had was wearing off! I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend. No homework (the semester ended Thursday!), no deadlines, no work-work...nothing but whatever happens on a whim.

Next weekend I will be in Tennessee for a wedding (it's a good thing I like to travel!). My accountability partner is getting married and I am one of the bridesmaids. We actually threw a shower for her last night. I was in charge of the games. At first, I was like "Ug, I hate bridal shower games" but then I realized I didn't have to participate in them since I was in charge. Hehe.

This past week has been full of answered prayers. I know that the Lord always hears and answers prayers (though not always like we want or expect), but, this week in particular, they have been quick and blatant: my sister is going to Romania with my parents' blessing; my roommate survived her Greek final; the little boy that went missing from Southern MO was found alive and well; the Lord provided this week as finances were nonexistent; and the majority of our trip to AL was rain-free.

Several of my good friends are moving as well because they are either graduating from or not returning to SBTS next year. :( Of course, I can't really say too much since I do not plan on being here next fall either. Still, I am sad I will not see them around campus when I return in the spring.

Please keep Fredericktown, MO in your prayers as it is a disaster zone after being hit by a severe storm earlier today. The town has a lot of damage and many people are without power (including my family).

My Savior Can Move the Mountains

Thanks to all of you who prayed for my sister. The Lord has removed the obstacle that posed a threat to my her trip to Romania. He has once again demonstrated His sovereign power and faithfulness. Praise be to His glorious name!