The Good Confession

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. Matthew 16:13-17

Eleven years ago tomorrow, the Lord saved me. He saved me from the wrath of God – the punishment I deserve – He saved me from my sins and He saved me from myself. He still continues to do so. The past few weeks I have seen the worst in myself, reminding me of my great need for Christ. I need Him every day.

Last night at the Chinese Fellowship I regularly attend, we watched the movie Fireproof. The movie powerfully portrayed the message of the gospel and the biblical design for marriage (which is a picture of the gospel, see Ephesians 5:22-33). After the husband in the movie became a follower of Christ and began pursuing the heart of his wife, I could see myself in her. She rejected him. She overlooked the good things he did for her and questioned his goodness. That is the way I have been with God.

    When my soul was embittered,
        when I was pricked in heart,
    I was brutish and ignorant;
       I was like a beast toward you.
    Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
        You hold my right hand. Psalm 73:21-23

But despite my selfish and prideful and ungrateful heart, the Lord did not stop pursuing me and doing good to me. He spoke to me through friends, through books, through sermons and through His Word. He reminded me that He is good to me all the time, even when I don’t understand or feel Him or have any encouragement that He is near whatsoever. In fact, it is probably in those times that He is especially good to me. He never lets go or gives up on His people.

    if we are faithless, He remains faithful—
    for He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

This is good news! The Lord is faithful to Himself in us. (For more on this idea, read this article.) His faithfulness is not based on our faithfulness, which is more good news for us. God is faithful, as First Corinthians 1:9 and the rest of the Bible declares. He has a grand plan for the world and for each of His children…and it’s not dependent upon us. He is sovereign over all hearts and events and His purposes will be accomplished. There is nothing that I can do to change His constancy or faithfulness. Just like I couldn’t save myself from my sins, I cannot keep God faithful to me. I cannot earn His faithfulness any more than I can earn His favor. It is God who elected, called, chose, saved, sanctifies and keeps me (Romans 8:30; 1 Corinthians 6:11). All Him. I have nothing to do with it whatsoever (because, if I did, I would fail miserably). I don’t deserve any of this favor, but Jesus Christ willingly and freely gives it. He is faithful to His promises. He is faithful to Himself.

Today, He graciously cleared my schedule so that I could spend the majority of the day with Him – praying, confessing, journaling, reading and going on a walk. Just me and Him. It seems that this anniversary didn't slip His notice either. :)

Challenges of the Week

Last week was a tough week. It was one of those weeks when nothing seemed to go right:

• Several things happened at work that did not go smoothly (and were extremely frustrating) that weren’t my fault (though it usually is) or anyone else’s. One of the things being that there was a problem with Google and I couldn’t get a campus-wide email out in a timely manner.
• The upper radiator hose in my grandma’s car started splitting, spewing antifreeze. This should have been an fairly simple repair, but the manufacturers put the lower clamp on the hose upside down, making it almost impossible to get to. What should have taken an hour, took almost three. Plus, my pliers stopped working.
• I discovered I contracted head lice from one of the ministries I am involved in. I haven’t had to deal with this since South Asia and it’s got me wondering, is this going to be my Achilles heel of ministry? :) Oh, and I gave it to my sister as well.
• I have had late nights and little sleep due to taking care of the above two things, so I have been extremely tired.
• My laptop decided it didn’t recognize it’s battery. It told me to install an official DELL battery. (?!) The original battery has never been removed. I restarted it and I think it is okay now.

By the end of the week, nothing caught me by surprise. I believe the Lord is using these things to humble me. It’s a lesson I never seem to catch on to. I am completely exhausted now (and sore) and realize more than ever how much I need Christ in every moment of every day.

The pesky clamp (put back in the upright position)

The week, of course, had some bright spots. I went to a Hymn Sing on campus where the Lord graced me without His presence in a much needed way. In the weeks preceding, all I could see was my sin – my selfishness and pride and self-absorption. Every motive, every decision and even my worship seemed to be rooted in these things. I felt like I really was living life in Romans 7 (“for I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is in my flesh,” verse 18). And the worst part about it was my apathetic disposition towards the Lord. My feelings were not warm towards Him and I had no desire to do the things that I knew I should do. I hated feeling this way. I prayed constantly for Him to reveal what was going on and had others praying as well. The Lord is extremely kind in all this – even in allowing me to see the ugliness of my sin. It is only when we see ourselves as we truly are that we can see and appreciate and grow in love for Christ. At the Hymn Sing, the Lord was like water to my parched soul. I could literally feel the scales of sin and stubbornness fall from my being and my heart was warmed toward the Lord.The external struggles that I faced this week are much preferred to the inner ones I experienced the weeks prior. (I hope I don’t have to eat these words later).

Also, during these difficulties, I got to watch my sisters in Christ step up to the plate to help me. My friend, Jodi, who went with me to the Hymn Sing and was with me when I discovered the split hose, worked right along side of me to repair it (even though she knew I had lice!). My other friend, Katelyn, gave up her Saturday night to de-lice mine and my sister’s hair. Hasn’t the Lord given me amazing friends?! This is how the body of Christ is supposed to function – something the Lord is teaching me a lot about lately.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. Philippians 2:3-7

Oh the Oddities

Yesterday I woke up (to my surprise) to a beautiful layer of snow on the ground. The most snow we’ve had all winter by far. It was truly beautiful, but it's crazy to think that just last Friday, it was 70 degrees with severe storms. And today was in the sixties. You know what that say about March coming in like a lion…

There seems to be a floss shortage in Louisville. I have been to two Targets and two Walmarts, on opposite sides of Louisville, and they have all been out. My sister and I do use a particular kind of floss due to our gum problems, but these stores have been out of almost all varieties of Reach floss. Crazy. I blame Target. They apparently had a sale on floss, which I think spawned this whole epidemic. I am going to try Kroger this evening. I might have to have my mom mail me some. :)

On a much more serious note, there are some things happening in our culture that are not only odd and illogical and even ironic, but horrifying and incomprehensible. One of the things that I really enjoy about my job is that I get stay up on the latest national and international news because I am in charge of printing Dr. Mohler’s The Briefing. If you have kept up with the latest articles, you probably noticed that most of the headlines have to deal with either homosexuality or abortion. These issues are very important and the Bible takes a clear stance on both (both are wrong and sinful). Unfortunately, the government has been trying to render judgment in these areas where it has no business. These are moral issues not political ones.

I almost cannot believe the extreme decline our culture has shifted into in the past few years. It hasn’t come without warning or notice though. The more secular the US becomes, the more issues like these will come into view. I find it extremely ironic that the institution of marriage among heterosexuals is falling apart, but the fight for marriage among homosexuals is raging. The one could care less about getting married; the other could care for nothing more. The one almost refuses to get married; the other almost refuses not to not get married. It is all so disheartening because it is an attack upon Christ and His Church. Marriage is a picture of the Christ-Church union and our culture’s refusal to honor marriage, in either respect, is the work of Satan to destroy this picture and attack Christ Himself. Several states have already legalized the marriage of homosexuals and more are sure to soon follow.

The other top headline, abortion, continues to spiral out of control. Not only are more and more women getting abortions; not only is the process to get an abortion easier and easier; not only is mandating vaginal ultrasounds considered rape (I mean, really???); but now some people, who have a voice in this society, are pushing for after-birth abortions. This is a modern day holocaust. It is nothing short of legalized child abuse and murder. The argument used to be that unborn babies were not “persons.” An illogical, Satanist logic that has been bought into by many. Now, the logic goes like this: babies can’t communicate or anticipate the future, therefore they have no say in society and cannot contribute to it, therefore they are not persons, therefore their mothers have the right to end their lives if it is in the mothers’ best interest to do so. How can this even be considered right? Then, on the other hand, there are articles like the one in the Washington Times about the baby that almost lived through the recent round of tornadoes, but didn't and it is considered "tragic." You can't have both views. If its not murder to kill a baby because of inconvenience after he/she is born, then it's not tragic that this baby died. On the flip side, if this baby dying in the tornado is tragic (and it is!), then babies being aborted is tragic as well (and it is!). How can our culture have such a double standard? There is only one answer:

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. Romans 1:28-32