Choose Your Master

I have started a study in Isaiah using the online ESV Bible so that I can run references on each verse and studying the footnotes more thoroughly. For some reason, the website hasn't been working properly so I have had to put this study temporarily on hold and read without running references for now. This morning, as I was journaling and praying, the Lord led me to read some specific Scriptures about surrender, waiting on Him, His sufficiency and strength, the gift of His various callings and finding my contentment alone in Him (Isaiah 40:28-31, Lamentations 3, Psalm 73, 1 Corinthians 7, 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, 1 John 3:2, among others). I also reflected upon the fact that I am no longer my own. I have a friend who is reading a book called Slave by John McArthur. I don't know much about the book, but the title has really got me thinkin' about Christ's ownership of me. I have been bought with a price - the very high price of Christ's blood. I gave my life to Him a little over ten years ago and in so doing, I gave up my own will for His.

Once again, the Lord used this morning's service at RF to reinforce and confirm my time with Him this morning. Even the songs we sung were in line with the Scriptures I had just read hours before: "Your Grace is Enough" (2 Corinthians 12:8-10), "Strength Will Rise" (Isaiah 40:28-31), "Better is One Day in Your Courts" (Psalm 73) and "I Surrender All." The sermon was about being partners in the Gospel from Philippians 2:19-30. One of the points that Pastor Phil made was that we are slaves to the Gospel of Christ. As humans, especially American humans, we balk at the idea of being slaves to anyone or anything. The Bible is clear, however, that we have no choice. None of us are really free. We are slaves to something: either sin that leads to death or of righteousness that leads to life (Romans 16:16-23; also John 8:34). We either belong to Christ or to Satan and the world. There is no neutral ground. Jesus came to free us from the bondage we are under to sin. Like I said, He paid the highest price and as a result we, who call ourselves Christians, belong to Him. This is nothing short of a radical and total surrendering of our own desires, plans and will to follow Christ wherever He may lead us. So the question is, how is your Master?

And He said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless it is granted to him by the Father." After this many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus said to the Twelve [disciples], "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord [a.k.a. Master], to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:66-69

I truly do want all that Christ wants for me. The scary thing, though, is the fact that I don't even and can't even comprehend the depths of all that desire means. All that Christ wants for me includes His refining work, suffering and trials that will make me more like Him in every way along with His very precious promises and presence. There is no doubt that all these things are good and are gifts, but they are not always pleasant or even desirable. As I wait - not always so patiently - for God to lead me to where He wants me, I am learning (Philippians 4:11) to be content. Content in the mundane. Content in Louisville. Content in my singleness. Content in waiting. Content in simply knowing Christ for He is all I need. This period of waiting is not a passive, twiddling-my-thumbs kind of waiting, but an active one - trusting and obeying Christ on a daily basis, living as I am called (1 Corinthians 7:17) and constantly being about the Father's business. Like Moses, enduring whatever comes my way because Christ is more worthy than anything that this world could offer (Hebrews 11:26).

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:25-26

Maybe the Tides are Turning...or Turning More Liberal

I heard on WAY-FM that marriages are more stable and divorce is less common than in the 1980s. Over 70% of the people who got married in 1990 are still together. Even though less people are getting married today, the ones that do are sticking together. I find this very encouraging. Maybe the tides are turning. :) Divorce is a devastating and horrendous (and, most of the time, needless) reality in our culture. When one looks at the ultimate reason God designed marriage - a visual representation of the relationship between Christ and His church (i.e. the Gospel; Ephesians 5) - then the travesty of divorce is all the greater. Since I work in the wedding industry, I see the very beginning of marriages as I work with excited and hopeful couples. Rarely do I get the chance to see anything past the wedding invitation. We have had, however, a few customers come in recently to buy invitations to celebrate fifty years or more in marriage. I think that is awesome. I get excited when I meet people who have been married for a long time. With the divorce, lack of commitment & responsibility and the exchange of love for lust that so permeates our culture, to meet a couple that has been married for over ten years is a rarity and privilege. My own parents will be celebrating their 35th anniversary this July. :)

On the same radio program, the DJ's were talking about the increase in women proposing to men.. Sign of the liberal times, I guess. Apparently, women get sick of waiting, so they pop the question to their man. There is something very disturbing and upside-down about this shift in our culture and points to the passivity in many men in our society. Sort of along the same lines, I have noticed a rising trend in women not taking their husbands' surnames in marriage. Here are some reasons I have heard for it: fear of losing her "identity" (whatever that means); afraid people won't know her in the professional world with a new last name; and a the desire (though not verbally expressed, but implied) to go against tradition. Several married women have come into Papers Unique lately to order stationery with their monogram or name on it announcing to me that they have either kept their previous last name or hyphenated their new last name with their old. They then want to know how their name and/or monogram should appear on their stationery. My answer (well, at least in my head): take your husband's last name and the world would be a simpler, happier place. :)

I was talking to a friend once about relationships, marriage and divorce. This friend does not trust men in general and believes that a woman must be self-sufficient so as not to be dependent on her husband. She broke my heart as she told me she didn't plan on being married to the same man  for the rest of her life. I explained to her God's design for marriage (along with the Gospel of Christ), the relational roles of the husband and wife and how ultimately our trust must be in God who sovereignly orchestrates all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). It was a difficult conversation, to say the least, but the Lord has graciously given her a heart to learn more of what the Bible says on the matter. She is not a believer, but she has come to see that God's design for marriage is good and right and that Jesus makes the difference in relationships. Pray with me that she will also see that Jesus is the one who will make the difference in her life and that she will realize her need for Him.

Summer Movie Review: Country Strong - 2 out of 5 stars

Now that my sister is out of school and summer is practically here, we can now hang out and do fun things...like catch up on movies we haven't seen. I have created my first movie list, which consists of about 10 movies (some newly produced and some older). Country Strong wasn't actually on my list, but it looked interesting and the title was appealing. I mean, the Hovis girls are country strong, right??? ;) This movie was not what I expected. It was terribly depressing. There was no conflict resolution, a lot of sex and a horrid ending. The fact that adultery was in it automatically prevents it from having more than 3 stars. Kristi and I decided to give it 2 stars because the music was good (we appreciate good and genuine country music) and the acting was superb. As depressing at it was, the plot could have been taken out of real life (but don't we watch movies to escape real life?). Throughout the movie, the main character was referred to as "a strong woman," "tough as nails," etc. This woman had fame, riches, honor and everything this world could buy, but she had no hope and no peace and her life reflected it. She needed Christ. The movie is a perfect picture of what happens when we try to live life in our strength - our strength runs out and we fail. I ran across this verse after watching the movie in my study in Isaiah:

And the strong shall become tinder, and his work a spark, and both of them shall burn together, with none to quench them. Isaiah 1:31

Surrendering the Results

Today was another glorious Sunday of relaxation, cleaning (well, until the vacuum cleaner died!) and enjoying the weather. I went on a long walk in the subdivisions by where I live. I was on the phone so I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and, before I knew it, I was by the highway. I had quite the trek back. :)

The Lord continues to amaze me in how He sovereignly coordinates my study in His Word with the sermons I hear and the books I read. He pressed upon my heart to study the book of Hebrews and then 1 & 2 Peter (which I finished today). All three have to do with perseverance in the faith - something I have much need of these days as I wait for the Lord to give me clear direction regarding the future. Verses from these books seem to pop up everywhere I turn - like in the sermon from RF this morning. The sermon was based out of Philippians 2:12-13 and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was reminded yet again that the results of living in obedience to Christ are not up to me, but up to God. I am not responsible for the how things turn out when I step out in faith as God leads or sow seeds in ministry. I am simply to trust, obey and follow His leading. And even though I can't see it, God is working in the mundane, every day things of life. Most importantly - and this fills me with hope - is that He is making me more like Christ in every way. The process may not be fun and I might not see the results immediately, but this is God's promise and plan (Philippians 1:6) and it will be accomplished. :)

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Phillipians 2:12-13

Side note: My quest for a journal is over. I bought the leather one at Borders today. :)

Coming Up Empty

I am on the search for a new journal. I only have a couple pages left in my current one. I have had it since 2007 and over half of it contains my thoughts since last September. Finding a suitable journal is more difficult than I remember. Someone asked me once if I was a journal snob. I said no, but apparently I am. I have went to both LifeWay and Borders and come up empty. I have one more store to check to see if I can find one similar to the one I already have: small, brown and contains a Bible verse on each page. I thought for sure I would find one at LifeWay, I mean aren't they the one-stop-shop for all things devotional? :) While I was there, the very nice cashier pointed me to the Moleskin journals, which "are very popular"...they are also very pricey. He then took me to a different area to view the rest of the journal selection. They were all hard back, bulky and very ornate and frilly. No sale. I just want a journal that doesn't scream, "I'm a journal!" I mean this is something I will be writing in for a few years (unless I keep up the current rate of journaling!). I then proceeded to Borders thinking they would have a nice selection to choose from. Plus, they sent me a 50% off coupon. :) Their selection was better, but not by much. They had the same bulky, flashy ones that I passed over at LifeWay, but they did have a few small, simple, genuine (thanks to Dr. Schreiner for help pronouncing this word!) leather journals that were right up my alley. I will probably wind up getting one of these, but there is a Christian bookstore on the Indiana-side of the river that I want to check first.

I am also on the search for pepper spray to buy for my friend who worries about her safety. I looked at Walmart while getting groceries today, but to no avail. Where would they even keep something like that? My sister and I tried using logic (which never works in Walmart): with the repellents? No. By the guns? (It's like a weapon, right?) No. An associate informed us that they don't carry it anymore. What's that all about? Our next stop was Walgreens. The place that prides itself on having everything you need. Everything, that is, except pepper spray. We weren't sure where to look. The family planning aisle, maybe? :) Nope. They told me to check Autozone. Yeah because that is the first thing I think of when I think of Autozone...but we'll see...

Wide Open Spaces

Outside it is raining - one of those cool, clean and refreshing rains that almost beckons me to be out in it. A perfect day for cleaning, drinking coffee, listening to music...and blogging.

Last night I had the opportunity to escape the confines of the city and soak up the Great Outdoors at a bonfire about an hour outside of Louisville. There is something about being out in the open, away from the hustle and bustle, that fills my heart with joy. Like the Dixie Chicks song says, I need "wide open spaces." 

This year is nearing the half-way point. It has been a difficult one for sure - filled with spiritual warfare (1 Peter 5:8), the heavy hand of the Lord (Hebrews 12:3-11) and my own inner battle with sin (Romans 7). This year has brought some new experiences that continue to challenge and refine me. The Lord is growing me in many areas and this growth is sometimes very painful and wearisome. He does not leave me alone, however. His grace is sufficient. Intertwined in these difficult lessons have been some been very sweet and precious times in the Word and in ministry. Apart from these past few days, I have not felt like myself for the majority of 2011. My spirit has been downcast; my optimism has faded into pessimism; and my usual smile and laughter (for I dearly love to laugh) has given way to a sort seriousness that has never characterized me before. And the most frustrating part is that I can't really explain why, but, like I said, these past few days have been different. I have been more hopeful, light-hearted and, well, myself. Maybe the clouds over my head have lifted...or maybe the Lord is giving me a small break to catch my breath before the next round of His intense refining work. Either way, He knows what He is doing and it is  for my good and His glory. My hope in all of this is that I will shine brighter for Him.

I think the Lord is leading me to move (yet again). It seems like I move every 6 months to a year...and I hate it. Sometimes I wonder why I even unpack my things. :) When I moved into this apartment last September, I said I was not moving again until either I got married or went overseas. The Lord, however, has other ideas. He has made me very unsettled with where I am now...so it looks like moving is in my near future. My sister (yay!) and I have begun the apartment search. Hopefully, the Lord has one for us in an area that is close to work, school, church and Scarlet Hope. Stay tuned. :)

Lessons from the Lord: patience, endurance, conflict management, hope & trust in the midst of not understanding (for I currently see through a glass dimly - 1 Corinthian 13:12)