Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Waiting, the Word and (not) Wasting

It's been a little bit since my last post. My silence is due to both not having the time and not having the motivation to blog. Primarily the latter as I have been quite anti-transparent lately. This year has been quite a difficult one...mainly because of the war that has been waging inside me. Suffice to say that those thoughts are delegated to my personal journal and possibly to those whom I deeply trust...possibly.

The Lord has not been silent, though. His messages have been consistent and strong. "Hear My voice." "Stay on the Path." "Follow Me." "Wait." This last one is the hardest. I don't know exactly what I am waiting for or how long I will have to wait. All I know is my Savior says, "Wait." So I will...with His strength. He is in full-control of my life and knows exactly where He is leading to me. In that I can take comfort.

The Lord has been so incredibly gracious to give me rich times in His Word. I am currently journeying through John until Easter (a chapter a day). I have been using the online ESV Study Bible to run references on each verse. The study has made me see more clearly the overall narrative of John, the perfect focus of Christ to do the Father's will, the constant call of Jesus for people to follow Him and the deity of Jesus Christ (the God-Man). I have also been slowly working through 1 Peter 3:4-6 (one key word at a time) to replace the time in the morning when I would be applying make-up, which I have given up for a while to focus on "inner beauty." This study too has been most enlightening as the Lord has taught me about the things that are precious to Him and how I need to trust Him more.

I have been listening and re-listening to a sermon by John Piper in my car this past week and a half or so about not wasting my life. I am gripped by almost every word as I do not want to waste the life God has given me. He talks about making Christ look great in every aspect of our lives by counting all things as loss compared to knowing Him. I am still trying to figure out how that looks exactly in my own life...but it is becoming my driving passion to do so. It is so easy to be distracted with anything and everything else that doesn't compare to His value. I guess this is one of those life-long battles of the Christian life: resisting all so that I can say "yes" to Christ. I want more of Him and I want all that He has for me (whatever that may look like). For it is my earnest expectation and my hope that in nothing I will be ashamed by with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether in life or in death. For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:20-21).

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