A Closed Door and a New Direction

Last week was a extremely hard week emotionally and spiritually. Several factors played into this: missing Sarah, numerous mistakes at work and news regarding my application to serve in South America. Regarding the latter, I had been working under the assumption that no news was good news and trying to be patient knowing that those looking over my application were very busy. My assumption, however, was wrong. I called about my application early last week and after several rounds of phone tag, was eventually told that I was on a waiting list. Due to the number of applicants, there were only 4 spots available (all in East Asia). I was then told that I had to make my decision by the following day: I could either go to East Asia in six weeks or defer my application. I prayed about it that night, but the Lord was silent. When the next day came, I still had no idea what to do nor did I understand what the Lord was doing. I read through the job descriptions for the opportunities in East Asia but none seemed to "fit" my God-given gifts and passions. Still the Lord was silent. I had previously told the Lord that I would pursue this opportunity until He shut the door (though I thought He would have done so much sooner than this!). I decided to go ahead and defer my application to the spring 2010 semester. I am extremly disappointed but know that the Lord has a reason for all this. I was reminded by fellow Christ-followers that no step of faith goes unrewarded, that God is still in control, that He knows the plans He has for me and that God calls me to be submissive to Him. These are all things I needed to hear. The truth is that I had lost my focus. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I was focusing on myself and my immediate circumstances. No wonder I had a rough week! BUT when I took time to dive intently into His Word and focus my eyes on Christ, His peace replaced my anxiety and His love melted my obstinate heart. Psalm 25 became the prayer of the hour and God used Isaiah 54-55 to speak His truth into my heart. Even though I felt alone, I wasn't and, as usual, God came to my rescue and comfort.

With this new change in plans (or rather MY plans), I have new things to think and pray about: like what classes to take this fall (or possibly even take a break from seminary), what ministries to become involved in and my living arrangements for Aug-Dec. My plans for the summer are still the same. I move out of my apartment at the end of the week into a friend's apartment. I will stay there through the month of June and then go home for the month of July (which I am so looking forward to; I desparately need the change of scenery!). The Lord has been gracious, however, in already providing me with living options over the past few days. Please pray for me as I learn more about these opportunities - that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading.

"My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins...Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You...Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame...for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long." (Psalm 15-18, 20, 3, 5)

Here, There, Everywhere

Last weekend I moved most of my stuff home to Missouri. Sarah went with me and got her first taste of small town life. What's more is that the Azalea Festival was last weekend, so she couldn't have visited at a better time. We took her to her first truck pull and car show, as well as to The Pig (our local food joint).

This weekend we are in Alabama moving her stuff into her mom's house in Huntsville. We just arrived a few hours ago. We drove separately (she in her mom's van and me in a borrowed CHEVY truck) which was a little sad, but I had some much needed time with the Lord. The last month or so has been so hectic that I have had very few extended times alone with Jesus. It was so great to be able to talk to Him. He laid several people on my heart to pray for, many of whom are having to make big decisions/life changes. I am very thankful for that time, but I am also thankful the trip is over. The Sweet Tea I had was wearing off! I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend. No homework (the semester ended Thursday!), no deadlines, no work-work...nothing but whatever happens on a whim.

Next weekend I will be in Tennessee for a wedding (it's a good thing I like to travel!). My accountability partner is getting married and I am one of the bridesmaids. We actually threw a shower for her last night. I was in charge of the games. At first, I was like "Ug, I hate bridal shower games" but then I realized I didn't have to participate in them since I was in charge. Hehe.

This past week has been full of answered prayers. I know that the Lord always hears and answers prayers (though not always like we want or expect), but, this week in particular, they have been quick and blatant: my sister is going to Romania with my parents' blessing; my roommate survived her Greek final; the little boy that went missing from Southern MO was found alive and well; the Lord provided this week as finances were nonexistent; and the majority of our trip to AL was rain-free.

Several of my good friends are moving as well because they are either graduating from or not returning to SBTS next year. :( Of course, I can't really say too much since I do not plan on being here next fall either. Still, I am sad I will not see them around campus when I return in the spring.

Please keep Fredericktown, MO in your prayers as it is a disaster zone after being hit by a severe storm earlier today. The town has a lot of damage and many people are without power (including my family).

My Savior Can Move the Mountains

Thanks to all of you who prayed for my sister. The Lord has removed the obstacle that posed a threat to my her trip to Romania. He has once again demonstrated His sovereign power and faithfulness. Praise be to His glorious name!