Yesterday, I took a small step in a direction the Lord may be leading me. As I have mentioned a couple of times before, I have been praying about studying overseas next fall. As I was listening to a sermon on obedience on my drive to MO, I felt the Lord leading me to discuss this with my parents. Now, I know talking to my parents sounds like a no-brainer, but I usually do not tell my parents about this sort of thing until I am 100% sure that the Lord wants me to do something. This time, however, the Lord prompted me to tell them before I know for sure. So I reserved to do so and prayed for the opportunity. The opportunity came yesterday in the car. I asked them to join me in prayer as I seek the Lord's direction. They really didn't say much, to my surprise; just asked a few questions. I am still seeking the Lord's direction about this. It is a great opportunity and makes sense to pursue, but I want to make sure I am doing what the Lord wants. If He wants me to go, I will go. If He wants me to stay, I will stay. The if, when or where I do not know, but one thing I do know: the Lord will guide me.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Remembering and Revealing...
I do not usually keep anniversaries of events or stuff like that, but the Lord has been pleased to remind me of certain things He has done in my life and when I consider how long it has been, they "happen" to be at milestone-type years.
Five years ago, the Lord did two pretty significant things in my life. The first is that I began to sense Him leading me to serving Him overseas. I struggled with this call for several months: was it really His voice or just my imagination? Is He for sure? What would I do? Where would I go? How could He use a shy, country girl like me for His kingdom? As I read Dr. Sills's book, the Lord has been reconfirming His calling on my life. What that looks like exactly, I have no idea, but I trust the Great Shepherd to direct me into His perfect will.
Also five years ago, the Lord revealed to me and began dealing with me about an incredible vice in my life. I had some serious issues with body image and food that were taking complete control of my life. It became my "god." I was not anorexic or bulimic so I didn't even realize I had a problem until the Lord shined His glorious light on it. I was a sophomore at Missouri Baptist University in Saint Louis at the time, and on Wednesday nights I would ride home to Fredericktown with some friends to attend church. It was during one of these services that the Lord showed me my problem. I don't remember the sermon, but I do remember that we were asked to write down something that we needed to surrender to God and lay it at the alter. This was the first step in a long process of recovery. The biggest breakthrough came when the Lord led me to a book about the very thing I was dealing with. It was called Life Inside the "Thin Cage" by Constance Rhodes. I discovered it while looking up something for my mom on a Christian bookstore website. At the bottom of the page was a link that read: "I don't have an eating disorder. I just watch what I eat..." I clicked on the link and read about the book and KNEW I had to buy it. So I did. The author was a Christian woman who used to have the same misconceptions about food and body image that I was experiencing. I couldn't believe it. It blew my mind that other people struggled in this manner. She labeled this subclinical eating disorder as Chronic Dieting which is characterized with an obsession with watching what you eat, declaring some foods to be "safe" and other to be "off-limits" and other made-up rules for eating. For me, it began with wanting to "get into shape" and be "healthy", but then somewhere along the line it became something way more. I started adding rules...lots of them (when to eat/not eat, what to eat/not eat, punishment for breaking rules, etc.). Added to this were the lies of the enemy and the standards of the media/culture. I was then trapped in my own self-made prison and filled with shame that I ever got in that position to begin with. The Lord Jesus Christ, however, is the Chain Breaker. Check out this portion from Psalm 107:
That is what He did in my life. He delivered me from my destructions and saved me from my distresses. He used His Word and He used a book. If you have something you are dealing with, He can handle it. Give it to Him. He will save you when you turn to Him. He always knows the best way.
Father, I thank you that You have a plan for my life and that you did not leave me to myself but always lead and guide me. You are the Great Shepherd and Healer. Thank you for breaking me out of the prison I created for myself and continue to lead me into Your Truth and into Your Will. Use the trials and circumstances in my life as a testament to Your goodness and as a way to further the name of Christ. Thank you Jesus for eternally taking on flesh and becoming one of us so that You might save us. You are beautiful and I love you. Amen.
Five years ago, the Lord did two pretty significant things in my life. The first is that I began to sense Him leading me to serving Him overseas. I struggled with this call for several months: was it really His voice or just my imagination? Is He for sure? What would I do? Where would I go? How could He use a shy, country girl like me for His kingdom? As I read Dr. Sills's book, the Lord has been reconfirming His calling on my life. What that looks like exactly, I have no idea, but I trust the Great Shepherd to direct me into His perfect will.
Also five years ago, the Lord revealed to me and began dealing with me about an incredible vice in my life. I had some serious issues with body image and food that were taking complete control of my life. It became my "god." I was not anorexic or bulimic so I didn't even realize I had a problem until the Lord shined His glorious light on it. I was a sophomore at Missouri Baptist University in Saint Louis at the time, and on Wednesday nights I would ride home to Fredericktown with some friends to attend church. It was during one of these services that the Lord showed me my problem. I don't remember the sermon, but I do remember that we were asked to write down something that we needed to surrender to God and lay it at the alter. This was the first step in a long process of recovery. The biggest breakthrough came when the Lord led me to a book about the very thing I was dealing with. It was called Life Inside the "Thin Cage" by Constance Rhodes. I discovered it while looking up something for my mom on a Christian bookstore website. At the bottom of the page was a link that read: "I don't have an eating disorder. I just watch what I eat..." I clicked on the link and read about the book and KNEW I had to buy it. So I did. The author was a Christian woman who used to have the same misconceptions about food and body image that I was experiencing. I couldn't believe it. It blew my mind that other people struggled in this manner. She labeled this subclinical eating disorder as Chronic Dieting which is characterized with an obsession with watching what you eat, declaring some foods to be "safe" and other to be "off-limits" and other made-up rules for eating. For me, it began with wanting to "get into shape" and be "healthy", but then somewhere along the line it became something way more. I started adding rules...lots of them (when to eat/not eat, what to eat/not eat, punishment for breaking rules, etc.). Added to this were the lies of the enemy and the standards of the media/culture. I was then trapped in my own self-made prison and filled with shame that I ever got in that position to begin with. The Lord Jesus Christ, however, is the Chain Breaker. Check out this portion from Psalm 107:
Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.
Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death.
Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with
rejoicing. (v.17-22)
That is what He did in my life. He delivered me from my destructions and saved me from my distresses. He used His Word and He used a book. If you have something you are dealing with, He can handle it. Give it to Him. He will save you when you turn to Him. He always knows the best way.
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not
forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:8-10
Father, I thank you that You have a plan for my life and that you did not leave me to myself but always lead and guide me. You are the Great Shepherd and Healer. Thank you for breaking me out of the prison I created for myself and continue to lead me into Your Truth and into Your Will. Use the trials and circumstances in my life as a testament to Your goodness and as a way to further the name of Christ. Thank you Jesus for eternally taking on flesh and becoming one of us so that You might save us. You are beautiful and I love you. Amen.
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your
wonderful deeds. Pslam 9:1
Before I end (I know this post is long enough already), I have a prayer request. My cousin Shawn has been very ill. I am not clear on all the details, but His stomach has knots in it and bacteria, bile is leaking into his stomach, he is unable to keep down food so he has lost a lot of weight and the other day he passed out. He has also missed many days of work. To top things off, he had an allergic reaction to the medicine the doctors gave him. Please pray for his healing, for the Lord to give the doctors wisdom, for his wife and for the Lord to provide for them financially as he misses work. Thank you.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Exciting News!
...well, at least it is to me. :)
My driver, Bobby Labonte, announced that he is leaving Petty Enterprises! This means he may have a chance at winning again. Hurray!!!
My driver, Bobby Labonte, announced that he is leaving Petty Enterprises! This means he may have a chance at winning again. Hurray!!!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire...
Well, not a real fire. Last weekend my roommate and I put up the Christmas tree, lights and other Christmas decor. We also spend some time building a fireplace...
which we are pretty proud of it, I am not going to lie. :) We also plan to decorate our patio for the contest our apartment complex is holding. Winners receive a discount off of January's rent. My boss is going to let me take whatever I need from the store to decorate. Fun times.
which we are pretty proud of it, I am not going to lie. :) We also plan to decorate our patio for the contest our apartment complex is holding. Winners receive a discount off of January's rent. My boss is going to let me take whatever I need from the store to decorate. Fun times.
I have started Dr. Sill's new book. I am only 4 chapters into it, but it has been so good so far. I highly recommend it.
Unfortunately, I have to read for school as well. I am taking a one-week philosophy course in January. Gag.
The Lord has been so gracious in providing for me financially this week. I was worried about going home for Thanksgiving and missing a week of work, but He has sovereignly provided in such a way that it's like I never missed work. Slowly, I am beginning to trust Him over my checkbook. What a blessing He is to serve!
CHRISTmas is quickly approaching. I hate how the glory of Christ gets overshadowed by all the holiday hype. The Lord has been teaching me over the past couple of years the impact of what this holiday represents. Christ, who is fully God, humbled Himself by taking on the weakness of human flesh (while not ceasing to be divine in any way). He became a baby. Babies, may I remind you, are Weak, but He never ceased to be God. Mystery of all mysteries. He dwelt among us (Immanuel). He became one of us in order that He might save us.
When you did awesome things that we did not look for, you came
down, the mountains quaked at your presence. From of old no one has
heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides
you, who acts for those who wait for him. -Isaiah 64:3-5
Friday, December 5, 2008
!!!
I am finished for the semester!!!
I am so excited to be able to read for pleasure!!!
I get to spend more time with Jesus!!!
More sleep and less caffeine!!!
:)
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