Regaining Perspective

The Lord has been ever so gracious to refresh, revive and renew my spirit these past few weeks. The enemy had done a very good job of completely sidelining me and I had lost my eternal perspective and focus (which the Lord graciously revealed to me).

It’s amazing what a few weeks of focused time with the Lord can do! My heart was wandering far from the Lord in the midst of my busy schedule and spiritual oppression and the heavy burdens of life. I felt like I was dying on the inside, slowing slipping away, but as I continued to call out to the Lord, He answered me in His own time and way.

The Lord led me to a Piper book called When the Darkness Does Not Lift, and through it revealed to me what was going on in and around me. Through the awareness of my sinfulness, and the suffering of my loved ones, and spiritual warfare, I had gotten lost in the dark. I could not see God; I was failing to trust Him; and I had forgotten what I had learned while in the light. I was focusing on the things that are seen instead of the things that are unseen (2 Cor. 4:16-18) and I had stopped fighting for joy. Instead of trusting and resting in the sovereignty of Christ, I was living in reaction mode. It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t good and it most definitely wasn’t Christ-honoring. I had lost sight of my great Treasure, who is Jesus Christ.

As I read through the Psalms and identified with the words of David and the other psalmists who cry to God for help, I wondered why God wasn’t answering me. God says He saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18), but where was He? The Lord gently reminded me that David had to wait to be answered too, like in Psalm 40:

   I waited patiently for the LORD;        he inclined to me and heard my cry.
    He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
        out of the miry bog,
    and set my feet upon a rock,
        making my steps secure.
    He put a new song in my mouth,
        a song of praise to our God.
    Many will see and fear,
        and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3

I often read the Psalms and think that God responded immediately, but if I would compare them with the rest of Scripture, I would see that God usually waits to respond. He does this for our good and for His glory. He does this to grow our trust and faith in Him. He does this because His ways and timing are always perfect. He does this because He knows what’s best.

The Lord has been lovingly reminding me lately that He is working for my good and has good things in store for me (Romans 8:28), and that I need to believe that in faith, even when things don’t make sense and when circumstances would seem to prove otherwise. David Platt says, “What if in your suffering and in your sorrow, Christ is working for your satisfaction?” And, you know, what? Jesus is my satisfaction, and the Lord is working through everything that I am going through so that I will know Him more deeply and intimately. He is going to reveal Himself to me in ways I could never have imagined (Ephesians 3:20). The thought of this brings me incredible joy.

But, first, I must wait. The continual word from the Lord this past year and a half or so has been, “Wait.” He is preparing me for whatever is in store, but God is not just working in my life in a way that will effect me. God is working in and through my life to work in the lives of others as well. He holds every detain in the palm of His hand. Nothing is lost to Him. I find this incredibly encouraging and comforting. I am currently in another delay in the process to get overseas. I will be in the States for at least another year, but I know that ultimately this is God’s delay. He wants to keep me in Louisville for another year, and I have no doubt He will reveal that reason in due time. So, even though the waiting is frustrating, it is also exciting, because, for the first time in awhile, I believe that God has good things in store. :)