The First Holiday

Thanksgiving was the first (meaningful) holiday since my dad passed in September. This is my favorite holiday, filled with lots of wonderful memories, some of the best food of the year, tons of laughter, and a great time with the Hovis side of the family. This year was different, though. It was bittersweet. I was still looking forward to the holiday: seeing everyone, the sense of comfort and normalcy that traditions bring, and, again, yummy food, but I knew this year would be different. There would be a void. Most of the aforementioned laughter was on account of my dad. He was the life of the party, always keeping things going. In ways I see now, he was almost the glue that held us all together. Everyone said that the holidays would be hard, but I didn’t realize how hard until the first one came. It definitely put my waterproof mascara to the test.

Hovis Family - Thanksgiving 2010

There are so many little things that you take for granted. When I first entered my uncle’s house, I realized that I didn’t know where to sit. It didn’t take my dad long to scout out a spot to sit and plant himself there, and I usually sat beside him. This time I wasn’t really sure what to do, so I just stood for a bit. Then came time to bless the food and eat. That’s when reality really hit me. Somehow my dad always managed to find his way to the front of the line and then he would go the opposite way around the table than everyone else. Mass chaos would then ensue. This year was quieter. Even though I was among family, I almost felt lost, out of place. I realized that this was the new normal, and I don’t like it. My dad's absence was like the elephant in the room that nobody was talking about it.

I miss him a lot. I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I am thankful to the Lord for all of the good memories I have of/with him. I am thankful that the Lord allowed him to be my dad. I am a very blessed woman to have had such a dad. Furthermore, I have the hope of seeing him again. He, right now, is enjoying the Lord, worshiping Him without the distraction of sin in perfect purity. There is a better feast coming, one better than we can imagine, with better food and perfect fellowship, in the presence of Him who is in His very being Satisfaction. There Thanksgiving will never cease. My dad is experiencing that right now. One day I will join him. But for now I cling to the hope found in Christ and His promises. Better things are coming. A better Day is coming. Jesus led me to this verse on Friday, which I found very comforting:

Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise.

You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy!

For your dew is a dew of light,

and the earth will give birth to the dead. Isaiah 26:19