One Day at a Time

During this past week or so the Lord has helped me regain perspective because, honestly, since the last post I had really been struggling. My thoughts were dark, my vision was limited, and my faith was wavering. God’s promises seemed to loom on the distant horizon far from reach. Roots of bitterness were starting to creep in and my heart was hardening, and I had not the strength to fight it. I knew what I needed to do – namely, focus on God, remember His promises, and be thankful – but I felt as if I was standing at a wall with no way over or around. I was stuck in the muck and the mire.

The Lord Jesus, however, is incredibly and infinitely gracious. He saw me struggling. He heard my whimpered prayers. He knew better than I did the depths of my sinful heart-attitude and the frailty of my faith. And He met me right where I was. He sent His Word and His people (often in combination) to pull me up out of the muck and mire and to set my feet upon the rock, which is Himself. I am always so amazed at how God in His sovereignty and wisdom sends me His Word at just the right time. One friend spoke the truth of John 9 to me (these things are happening "that the works of God might be displayed"). My pastor preached the sermon that I desperately needed to hear and exposed all the doubts and fears that were swimming in my heart. The radio (which I rarely listen to) played songs that pointedly addressed my circumstances and sin and weariness. Then there were the perfectly-timed texts filled with Scriptures that reminded me of the truths I had forgotten, and the people who God burdened to pray for me. These are all evidences of the love and care and provision and grace of Christ. He is faithful even when we are not. He is the perfect Groom who pursues His wayward Bride. He is the only Sovereign for whom nothing escapes His attention. He is the gentle Shepherd who never, ever loses one of His won. In sum, He is Perfection, and He is everything I need (and want!).

One of the things the Lord has been reminding me of is the truth that He gives me grace for Today. He doesn’t give me grace for tomorrow or any other time in the future, but for the day at hand. And, as I have been reminded by several people lately, He also doesn’t give grace for my imagination, and, lately, my imagination has been in overdrive. I am a planner by default, but for a while now I haven’t been able to plan much past the current day. I am in waiting mode in almost every area of my life – waiting for the next step, waiting for the next piece of news, waiting for the next set of test results. So my entire future seems to be just hanging in the balance. And, of course, I guess this is the way it always actually is (from the human perspective) because God alone knows the future and He alone establishes my steps, no matter how much I plan and think ahead. Life is always filled with uncertainties because we do not know what the next day, the next moment will bring. Oswald Chambers calls this living in "gracious uncertainty," and says it is a natural part of the spiritual life. We may have general ideas about what lies ahead, but we won’t actual know until the next moment happens. And isn’t this even what Jesus taught?

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

Yes. I am to live day by day. God’s grace is more than sufficient for today, and He lavishly gives me the daily grace and strength I need when I need it. Jesus Christ is the only certainty. Everything else may give way, but He alone is my hope and stay (as the old hymn goes). And the fact that I hate this state of limbo reveals that I am not trusting the provision of my heavenly Father. It reveals that I put too much trust and confidence in plans and planning, instead of placing all my trust in Christ alone. (This is not to say that plans and planning are bad because they are not and they have their place when they are rightly submitted to God).

And this leads me to another reminder from the Lord: I need to be disciplined in my thinking. As the Apostle Paul says, I need to take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). This means when I start thinking about a painful future without my dad or when I start to wonder how honoring my parents in their ill health meshes with moving permanently overseas or start creating a host of future scenarios and what-ifs, I need to stop the thought process, remember (or look it up) the truth found in God’s Word, and start thinking about the character of God and His unfailing promises.

Finally, through all of this and underpinning all other lessons is the constant and continual reminder that I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I have not the strength. I have not the stamina. I have not the faith. I have not the wisdom. The situations that the Lord has allowed into my life, the path that He has me on, I simply have no ability in and of myself to do or even face. I literally and desperately need the grace and strength of Jesus every single hour, evening single moment. I need His grace. I need His wisdom. I need His guidance. I need His Word. I need HIM. And the great thing is that I have Him. He is mine and He promises in His Word that His grace is sufficient for me, that He is my ever-present help, that He will strengthen me, that He is with me and in me, that He is for me, and that He delights to do me good and will do me good for the glory of His name. And, furthermore, when I am weak, He is very, very strong.