Come and Listen…

Come, let us return to the Lord; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will raise us up, that we may live before Him. Let us know; let us press on to the know the Lord; His going out is sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth. Hosea 6:1-3

The Lord Jesus gave this verse to one of my friends to pray for me a while back. It confirmed what I already sensed Him doing in my life – refining me and breaking me to pieces. I have no doubt that the Lord is preparing me for whatever He has in store. It will be glorious, but it will be oh so hard. This is probably the hardest year I have experienced to date. Through it the Lord has taught me much about suffering. Now, comparatively, I would say that I have suffered very little compared to others…but suffering is relative. The hardships I faced this year were none that you could really see. The Lord led me down into a deep, dark valley and left me there for 8 long, hard months – I had little direction, could not sense His presence or see Him working around me and felt isolated and alone. In fact, all I could see was my sin – my un-Christlikeness. As the months progressed, my joy waned, my strength faded, my faith wavered and hope was hard to find. I was exactly where God wanted me to be, though – desperate for His presence and power, weary with living in my own strength and willing to do whatever it took for the joy of my salvation to be restored (Psalm 51:12). And though I could not see or sense the Lord, He never left me. As I read His word, He showed me why I was going through such a difficult time. He led me into the wilderness to humble me, to test me and see what was in my heart and to teach me to live on His Word alone (Deuteronomy 8:2-3). As the Lord stripped away relationships, possessions and even ministry opportunities from my life, this is exactly what began to happen. And what’s more, this is something that I had prayed for numerous times (though this wasn’t the answer I expected!). I ran across – by the Lord’s design, no doubt – some journal entries late last fall and earlier this year where I asked the Lord to make me more like Christ, to deepen my dependence on Him, to humble me, to conform my will to His, to hide me in Himself (Colossians 3:1-3), to increase my satisfaction in Him and to take away anything that would distract me from Him. So, that's exactly what He did.

The Lord, however, is healing the wounds He afflicted upon me. He has heard my cry and is bringing me up out of this valley (Psalm 40:1-3). He has graciously restored to me the joy of my salvation and, like the Apostle Paul, I am learning the difficult lesson of contentment. Most of all, He has allowed me once again to sense His gloriously presence. :) I still feel like I am in darkness regarding the future or even the next step, but I am at peace. The Lord knows the future and He is satisfied with it...and I have become satisfied in His satisfaction.

I stumbled upon this song and I think it is very fitting: