Silent Provision

The Lord reminded me last Sunday of how self-reliant I am. He needs to break me and I prayed that He would. I have been working my tail off trying to pay off my credit card debt (that I acquired because of my pride last year), but He revealed to me that in doing so I have been relying on myself. I once again gave Him my debt and other things that I think I can fix/control. I told Him I didn't know how but I knew He would provide. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from a scholarship foundation telling me that I have been awarded a $1000 scholarship for this fall. I guess that means I don't need the the loan I took out anymore. :) God always provides in His way and His time. Why do I doubt Him? It's like an addiction. "Hi my name is Rachel and I'm a self-reliant sinner. It has been two days since I surrendered everything to God."

The Lord has also provided me with a roommate and apartment. How amazing is that? I was determined not to even think about where I was going to live but a friend of mine called me and asked about my living arrangements for the fall. She said that I had "come to mind" when she was thinking about possible roommates. The Lord then put it in my mind to look at The Towers magazine for apartment ads and boom! It's settled. We both have a place to live (only about a mile from campus and 4 from work I might add :).

Several opportunities to serve the Lord have surfaced over the past month. I have been praying for a way to serve outside the church walls and the Lord has brought some ways to light. I am praying for His leadership so I do not overload myself this fall, but I am very excited about what He has in store!

All of these answered prayers and blessings are bittersweet. The Lord has been taking me through a dark time spiritually by withdrawing from me. I have been clinging to His promises, but it has been extremely difficult. He has been silent towards me. I do not sense His presence. I think (because the Lord has inclined His ear to me as of late) and hope this time of testing is almost over. I want His sweet fellowship again!

I go home this Friday for a WHOLE MONTH!

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Last Sunday I visited William Branham's church in Jeffersonville, Indiana. It has been something I have been wanting to do ever since I discovered his influence on some of my family members. The class I am taking this summer (starts tomorrow actually) requires me to attend such a church so I seized the opportunity. When I was considering a date to attend, the Lord laid it on my heart to go last Sunday. I was very nervous because I did not know what to expect (I now have a new appreciation for unbelievers who visit a church for the first time). Knowing that Branhamism has Pentecostical roots, I wore a long skirt and prayed that the Lord would lead me to a young lady who I could befriend. The service started with prayer and hymnal singing. We then heard the "thought" for the morning, which I thought was the sermon at first. The pastor spoke for 20 minutes or so quoting Brother Branham as well passages from the Bible. We then sung some more and then listened to the sermon. When I say listened, I do mean listened. The sermon was an audio recording of Brother Branham himself (he died in 1965) preaching from Matthew 21 (The Triumphal Entry) regarding the identity of Jesus Christ. This is exactly what I wanted to know: who they believe Jesus Christ is. They definitely have a high view of Christ. They believe He is more than a Good Man, Prophet and Healer--that He is God in the flesh. They also believe He is the only way to God. These are very good and very true points. There are some other things, however, that rose a red flag in my mind: Branham is the forerunner of Christ's 2nd coming, the Holy Spirit is the forerunner of Christ's second coming, God sent Branham to teach true baptism (Jesus Name only) and "the fuller revelation." The Lord answered my prayer by leading me to meet a very friendly young woman who has agreed to let me interview her. This young lady also "happens" to be Brother Branham's great granddaughter (of course, Lord!). My attempts at the proper dress failed miserably as the pastor spoke against slits in skirts...my not only had one but two! Apparently, I am a scandalous woman. I was a little mortified to say the least. Anyway, I have really been struggling with all this: are these people (and some of my family members) saved? How can they love and know Jesus so well and God not lead them into the Truth? Why doesn't God show them the errors of these teachings? Why did God bless Branham's ministry and do healing miracles through Him? What if Branham is right? As I have been praying and agonizing over these questions this week, the Lord has not left me to the wind. He is faithful. The morning I went to Branham's church I listened to a message online called "What is Truth?" Very timely (as usual coming from our Awesome God!). Also, this week in a book I am reading from my class, I kept running across this statement: Jesus Christ is God's final revelation. This statement was culminated for me this morning in the sermon I heard at a friend's church I attended (I didn't know I was even going there until last night, but God knew I needed to be there!). They are going through a series on the Trinity and today was about God the Son (the same topic covered in the Branham sermon). Jesus is not only God in the flesh but He is God's final revelation of Himself. God used to speak through prophets and angels but now He speaks to us by His Son (Hebrews 1:1-2). There is no longer a need for prophets (Branham is a self-declared prophet) or angelic visions (Branham received revelations from an angel) because Jesus is all we need. I am still struggling with all this but I trust that God will continue to lead me into truth (John 16:13).

Through all of this, God has shown me how vulnerable baby Christians are. Like babies, new Christians trust and copy those who lead and guide them. They absorb everything they are taught and it shapes who they become as believers just as children absorb everything they learn from their parents. How important it is for them to be among strong, faithful Christians who are true to God's Word! I am so thankful for the godly leaders God has placed in my life. If you are reading this and have had some type of godly influence on my life, know that God has used you to save me from false teaching. It is only by God's grace that I know the Truth now and I am not caught up in Branhamism. Hebrews 13:7 has become such a precious verse to me for this very reason. The people God has placed in my life - pastors, professors and strong Christian friends - have challenged, guided, taught and corrected me to keep me focused on my Savior and to keep me on the right path. As the following verse says (13:8), "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." He is the final Truth and He doesn't change. Therefore, those who correctly teach His way should teach Him and His truths and live as He did. I am very blessed to know such leaders and thank my God for them.

Aside: I just started the book A Call to Die by David Nasser. I have been wanting to read it for a while now, and the Lord pressed it upon my heart to do so this summer. I just read the first devotional and realized that I am more selfish than I thought. I have a lot of dying to myself to do.

Also, my sister leaves for Romania is two days! Please pray that she would not be anxious, that the Lord would keep her safe, that God would use this experience to draw herself closer to Him and that she and the team she is with will lead many people to a saving relationsihp with Jesus Christ.