Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. 2 Corinthians 2:3-7
Sometimes in loss or difficult trials, the Lord allows His people to see His purposes behind why He allowed them. When it comes to our miscarriage earlier this year, Daniel and I still don't understand why God allowed us to lose our baby, but we can see how He is using our loss for His glory and kingdom. Nothing is ever lost in God's economy. It all serves us and others in some way.
During these last two months, we have had the opportunity of walking with two dear couples who suffered miscarriages. Because we had already walked down that road ourselves and had received God's comfort and healing, we were able to minister that same comfort to these two couples. Like the verse above describes, we were comforted to comfort others. Our circumstances weren't exactly the same. Our inner experience of losing our babies weren't the same either. But we have the same Father in heaven who loves us and because of that, we were able to identify with the loss and grief that suddenly came upon our friends. We were able to cry with them and pray with/for them and encourage them of God's goodness, grace, and mercy even in the midst of such bewildering circumstances.
This doesn't mean that knowing that we can help others gives us more of a sense of purpose in our loss; it just means that we can see how God is redeeming the loss in our life by allowing us to encourage and comfort others. Our joys and sorrows are never just for us. God does indeed use them to refine us and make us more like Christ and increase our faith, but He is also preparing us to serve others and witness to His goodness, greatness, and sufficiency in what seems like hopeless situations. If we keep our pain to ourselves and do not let others share in it so that they can either serve us or that we can serve them, we waste our pain. When Jesus was on earth, He allowed others to share in His sorrow (Matthew 26:36-38) and He comforted those who were hurting (Matthew 28:10; Mark 5:36; John 14:27). That's what love does. And we are called to love.
We will probably never understand the reasons behind any of these miscarriages on this side of heaven, but, as hard as it is sometimes, our hope and faith in Jesus does not rest upon understanding every circumstance He allows or prohibits. He calls us not to understand but to trust. His wisdom is much greater than ours and His purposes are much higher (Isaiah 55:8-9). God certainly had the power to prevent the loss of these babies, but in His mysteriously perfect wisdom He didn't. But in His sovereign power, God is using these evidences of our painful, broken, and sin-wrecked world to make beautiful things happen: strengthening marriages through loss, united brothers and sisters closer in Christ, making us all more dependent on Him - are a few that come to mind. This is our hope in the midst of suffering and affliction, that the God of the universe is working in all things for the good of His people and the fame of His name (Romans 8:28) and that every ounce of pain on this side of eternity will be more than repaid, and greatly overshadowed, by the glory that awaits us (Romans 8:18; 2 Corinthians 4:16-18). I long for that day and it is that hope that sustains me when circumstances are hard and my understanding is dark. Until then and with the Lord's help, I will continue to grow in sharing my pain with others so that I can be comforted and so that I can comfort those who need comforting.
