Reflections on a Year Ago Today :: Engagement

One year ago today Daniel asked me to marry him at Radnor Lake in Nashville. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day (my favorite) in the midst of wildlife (my favorite) surrounded by lots of trees (my favorite). It was simple, laid back, and fun. So, in short, it was perfect (and so was the simple, classy ring he picked out for me). :)

Just-engaged-selfie

A lot has happened since then, including getting married (nine months ago yesterday). We’ve experienced a lot of change together. We’ve faced some difficulties as a new couple (family illnesses, adjusting to a new city, finding a new church, broken cars and drains and fridges), but adjusting to marriage itself has been relatively smooth. That is not because of us. I am overwhelmed with the grace that God continues to lavish on our marriage. We’ve both been incredibly blessed by this gift of marriage from God. And although it’s hard to daily die to self, to continually strive (with God’s enabling Spirit) to put the interests of Daniel before my own, to see my sin exposed for what it really is (ugly, deep, ever-present – I’m worse than I thought), God has been pleased to help us do just those things (though we will always have room for growth). It is Jesus in us that helps us to love as He loved, to bear with one another’s weaknesses, to seek the good of the other person. I believe that the closer you are in your relationship to Christ, the more these fruits of His character will overflow from you. I’m not there yet by any means, but I have seen the freedom to love others that come when we are secure in Him and are drawing near to Him and finding our satisfaction in Him alone.

So the word I would use to characterize mine and Daniel’s marriage is grace because God has filled our marriage with much, much grace (and love, of course!). The passage below is one of the ones we selected to be read at our wedding ceremony. I believe it is foundational to all relationships (not just spousal) and should be the goal of every mature believer in Christ. I believe it is one of the passages that is foundational to our marriage and undergirds how Daniel and I relate to one another.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:3-8

Jesus could have rightly claimed the praises He was due in heaven. He is God. But, instead, He put our interests, our needs, above His own rights. He left His rightful place in heaven, setting aside His glory, so that He could become nothing in order that we could be saved. He lived for us, was tortured and murdered for us, was buried for us, and then was raised for us. All so that we could know Him and enjoy Him and share in His glory. This is the “mind of Christ” that we are supposed to have: a sacrificing mind, a loving mind, an other-centered mind. That is the disposition we are to have with everyone we interact with, especially those closest to us. And if you are a follower of Christ, then this mind is yours in Christ Jesus. By God’s grace and Spirit, let us become who we are in Him.